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Moral
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Moral
Date: 28 Jul 1997 12:47:02 -0400
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#55: "Stalks and Blondes"
Message-ID: <sfwracjw2d5.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE... * Can Joani's unmatched figure send Malcolm's stock soaring?
* Why would Grace deny Cassie a stalk of celery?
* Will Nick put stock in Grace's claim he has bland blonde interest?
* Will man-hungry Trisha lose her lunch when she finds herself
out on the street like a vagablonde in her stalking feet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 55, 28-Jul-97 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Stalks and Blondes"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a midsummer party at the Newman Ranch. Cassie is wandering around
unattended when she spies a carrot on one of the serving tables. But just as
she approaches the table, Sharon grabs the carrot and starts gnawing on it.
Cassie sighs and Sharon sees the sigh. "What's the matter Cassie?" she asks.
"Oh, I know--I bet you wanted something to eat. Well, I've got something for
you--look!" she says pointing to a big chocolate cake on the next table.
"Thank you, Sharon," Cassie says with only an inward sigh. "Sharon's hosting
the party--I wouldn't want her to think I was any trouble," the little girl
says to herself.
Danny is pacing around his apartment furious with Phyllis for having lied all
this time about his son. Joani enters, and asks, "Gosh, Mr. Romalotti, you
seem really upset. Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, Joani, there is,
actually... You can find me a good divorce lawyer." Joani reaches into her
back pocket and pulls out a worn and slightly torn piece of paper. "Uh, I
just happened to have such a list... sorry it's a little torn--I made it up
for you kind of a long time ago--I can't believe how long it's taken you to
see through all of Phyllis's little plots." Danny looks at the paper. "Uh,
gee, Joani--I was actually just kidding, but this was really nice of you to
do." Joani blushes. "Oh--you're not going to divorce your wife?" "No... I
am going to do that... but I'm sure Cricket will want to handle the case."
Joani sighs with relief... "Ok, Mr. Romalotti..." "Joani, will you stop
calling me that? Pretty soon we'll be living here all alone in this house and
I don't want you calling me that!" Joani takes Danny by surprise, grabbing
both arms with her fingernails and pulling them just slightly behind his back.
She grabs his earlobe slightly with her mouth and whispers in her best sultry
voice, "What would you like me to call you?" Then she spins him around,
letting his arms go. He looks dizzy, and not just from the spinning. "Wow,"
he says. "You can call me anything you want, just don't call me late for
bedtime!" She giggles at him and goes skipping down the hall.
Once again Cassie is roaming the party and spies a lone banana on a far table.
But as she moves toward it, Grace swoops in and grabs it, and starts to peel
it. "Hi, Cassie," Grace says. "Are you having fun at the party?" Cassie
nods her head way up and down. "I like this ranch. It feels very much like
home to me. But if you'll excuse me, I was looking for some food." Grace
downs the banana as Cassie speaks and looks around. "Look at this!" Grace
says, pointing to another table. "It's the pizza table. I bet you'd just
love another piece of pizza, wouldn't you?"
Cassie awakens on the couch at Grace's shaking, sweating, and flailing her
hands about her. "Why won't you give it to me?" she mutters. "I see it all
the time but you never give me any..." Grace sits beside her and tries to
calm her. "It's ok, Cassie. Everything is ok. You're just having a bad
dream...." "A dream? Is that all it was?" Cassie says, surprised. "Sure,"
says Grace. "Don't you remember laying down after dinner?" She points to a
nearby pizza box. "Tony, do we have any chocolate donuts left? I think our
little princess needs to be calmed down..." "It wasn't a dream," Cassie says
suddenly. "It was too real!" "Well, why don't you tell us all about it and
we'll see if we can help you understand your dream. Sometimes the symbols in
dreams are hard for little girls to understand..."
The doorbell rings at the Romalottis and Joani yells "Just a minute." A
moment later she swings open the door and Malcolm bursts in, saying "Phyllis,
I am in a real bind here, a model cancelled and--" he sees it isn't Phyllis.
He stops. "You're not Phyllis." Joani laughs, never having been previously
confused with her. "No, I'm not. Actually, Phyllis has gone out--I'm not
sure if or when to expect her back. She and Danny had a kind of fight."
"Say, I know you--you're the one that's always taking care of their little
boy for them." "That's right. I'm Joani." Malcolm sizes her up. "Look,
just forget I came here looking for Phyllis because I'm thinking you're looking
mighty fine yourself. I'm Malcolm--Malcolm Winters--I have a photography
studio near here. I was thinking, maybe you could come model for me." "Me?
A model?" "Well, it's not very hard really--not when a body's as easy on
the eyes as yours is there, girl. You just kinda smile and flip your hair
this way and that and then Malcolm here pays you a big fat check..."
"Sounds fun. Seems like ever since I divorced my husband, I don't get out
much any more. But I do have little Daniel here to take care of." "Not to
worry--bring the little guy along. I'll give him a camera to play with while
you're under the bright lights." "Well, ok, sure! Why not? It's about time
I got some exposure around here," she says.
Cassie tells Grace about the dream. "It was all about fruits and vegetables.
First there were the cucumbers, then the zucchinis, then carrots, then I think
it was bananas. They were always just out of reach. And every time I would
try to get close to one, someone would serve me a donut or pizza instead."
Grace gets a worried look on her face but tries to hide it. "Well, Cassie,"
she says, "sometimes little girls want to grow up just a little too fast.
These things in your dreams--cucumbers and carrots and things--they symbolize
adult things..." "They do?" "Things you're not old enough to have..." "I'm
not? But I thought they were just food." "Well, they ARE food. But they're
also symbols. Now, we don't have a lot of fruits and vegetables around here,
so your mind has chosen them to represent `things little girls can't have', do
you see?" Cassie nods. "Why do `cucumbers and bananas' have to represent
things I can't have. Why can't they just BE things I can't have?" "That's
just not how dreams work, Cassie. Dreams are where we express our fantasies.
Our lusts. No one would lust over vegetables and fruits, I assure you. Your
mind is wanting something else--something you can't have at your age. Anyway,
you should just relax and don't worry about the dream. Here's a nice
chocolate donut for you to eat to calm you right down."
Trisha sits at the bar and Jay walks up. "You're looking pretty down there,"
he says. "How about a super-double-mochaccino to cheer you up?" "I'm afraid
it's beyond that point," Trisha says with a sigh. Jay gives her a sympathetic
laugh. "Well, I have a friend that sells illegal handguns--maybe that's more
your speed?" he says. "You're joking, right?" she says. "Yes and no. I
wasn't suggesting you should go buy a handgun, but I do have a friend that
deals in all kinds of specialized things like that." "I guess such friends
can be useful at times," she says nodding. Vinnie enters sporting a black
leather jacket and sits beside Trisha. "Well, well, well," he says, giving
her a visual once-over. "Speak of the devil," Jay says. "This is my friend
Vinnie--he's sort of an all-purpose facilitator, you might say." Vinnie nods
politely to Trisha. "And this is Trisha Dennison," Jay says to Vinnie. She
forces a momentary smile. "You're looking a little down there, hon. Say,
Jay--a couple of super-double-mochacinnos for me and my friend. We'll be over
at that booth," Vinnie says, pointing to a booth in the corner away from
things. "Uh, she's not interested in--" Jay starts to protest. "No, it's ok.
It sounds suddenly like just the thing," Trisha says, breaking into an almost
smile. Jay shrugs and says "Ok, a coupla super-doubles coming your way
momentarily..."
Grace goes into the kitchen where Tony is. "Tony! What am I going to do?
Cassie is starting to have dreams about sex!" "I'm tellin' ya Gracie, ya
gotta give her to Sharon. Let Sharon handle it." "Are you out of your mind?
It's bad enough with Sharon over there lusting after Nick all the time--"
"Nick is her husband, of course she's going to be lusting after him."
"--without having Cassie there, too." "Cassie is a little girl. You think
Newman likes little girls?" "Nooo, Tony. But he could ... get confused."
"Oh, yeah, right. Like a guy could really get confused about something like
that. Sure..." "It COULD happen, Tony. You don't know Nick the way I do...
Anyway, I am not giving Cassie back. And from now on, I don't want anything
around the house that could be confused with--with--" "With cucumbers and
bananas and carrots things..." Tony says helpfully. "Exactly," says Grace.
Vinnie sits with Trisha in a secluded booth. Jay comes by and sets two drinks
on the table for them and they sip as they talk. "So what kinds of things do
you ... facilitate?" Trisha asks. "Most things. I'm a pretty capable guy,"
Vinnie says proudly. "What do you have in mind?" She looks around to see if
anyone is listening. Still uncertain, she motions him to lean forward and she
whispers something in his ear. He raises an eyebrow in surprise and thinks
for a moment. "Yeah, I could do that. It'll take a bit of--" "Money?" she
says. "Perhaps you didn't catch my name. I'm Trish Dennison. Daughter of
Keith Dennison--of Dennison Vanguard industries? Perhaps you've heard of
them?" "Heard of them? This is one of their jackets!" he says proudly. "Oh,
right!" she says. "Anyway, money is not an object--I'm one of the idle rich,
you know. Discretion is what I need--lots of discretion." He nods. "Very
understandable. Now, here's the deal. I'll set up the sale, but I'm not
involved--ok? I just facilitate it--for a small fee. That way, if anything
blows up, I'm outa the loop. You're on your own, ok?" She nods and starts to
offer some money from him, but he shakes his head. "I trust you for the
money. We'll handle that another time. For now, let me make sure I can hold
up my end of the bargain and get you connected up... I'll be in touch."
That evening, Grace sits with Nick in her living room. Tony has gone out and
Cassie has apparently gone back to sleep. They are intently discussing (what
else?) their night of passion together. Nick, still very confused, asks,
"What exactly are you accusing ME of, Grace?" Grace thinks hard and comes up
with the most outlandish lie she can. "Nick, isn't it just POSSIBLE that
maybe your having sex with me was more than just an accident. That maybe you
WANTED to have sex with me." Nick is taken aback. He eyes Grace up and down
and then bursts into a howling laughter. "Nick? Nick, what is it?" Grace
asks. Nick cannot stop laughing... As he continues to howl, he barely manages
to get out the words "You think *I* wanted ..." but he cannot get more words
out because he is too hysterical.
Trisha stands in a dark alley, wearing a black leather jacket of her own. It
is late at night. Someone comes running into the alley and looks both ways.
"You're T.D.?" "I am. Do you have what I asked for?" He nods and holds out
a small bag. "Where's the money?" he asks. "Hold on a second--let's not
hurry into this. First, tell me how it works." "Ok. Any one of these pills
poured into a drink. A few minutes later... bang." "And it can't be
traced?" "Once it's in the bloodstream, it changes in ways that makes it
nearly impossible to pick out even if you know what you're looking for. Nah,
it's not traceable." "OK, let's do it," she says. She pulls out a checkbook
and he frowns at her. "Uh, CASH." "It's ok--I just hid it in here--you never
know what kind of unsavory crowd you're going to run into in this
neighborhood, you know what I mean?" she says, pulling a $500 bill from the
checkbook and handing it to the man. "Oh, I do indeed--I do indeed," he says.
"Why just this evening, there was this woman who wanted to murder--" She hands
him an extra $100. "Or maybe it was last night..." She hands him another
$100. "No, I must have been mistaken. I can't think of any shady characters
in this neighborhood." "Good," she says smiling an evil smile. The man turns
and starts to walk away. Then she pulls out a gun with a silencer and shoots
him. "Sorry about that," she says. "I can't afford any witnesses." She
removes the money from the pocket of the still body and stands for a minute
watching blood trickle from him.
Back at Grace's, Nick is still roaring with laughter. "Nick? It WAS possible
you know. I mean, it could have been. I mean, ... you don't have to be so
... blunt ... about it... I do get your point." Nick continues laughing.
Cassie enters the dining room from the bedroom to find Nick still laughing.
"Nick's been laughing for a really long time. Is he ok?" Grace
sighs. "Yes, Cassie, Nick is fine. He just saw something he thought was
really funny and he hasn't calmed down yet." "What?" Cassie says excitedly.
Nick points at Grace. Grace sighs and storms out to the bedroom. Cassie
shakes her head at Nick. "That wasn't very nice," she says to Nick. "Huh?"
Nick says, calming down. "Laughing at Grace that way. Millie taught me never
to laugh at people--it's not nice. If necessary, you should leave the room
rather than laughing in someone's face." They sit silently. Then Cassie says
"But I know what you mean. I think she's funny looking, too. That's why I
tell her I have to go to sleep so much... I don't want to stay and embarrass
her. So I tell her I have to go to bed. Maybe you should do that, too?"
Nick looks at the little girl, confused. "Huh? Should do what?" "Instead of
laughing at her, you should tell her you want to go to bed..." Nick starts
laughing again. Grace walks back in--"I thought he stopped, but I see he
started again." Cassie nods. "We were talking about you, and about going to
bed, and then he just started laughing again..."
The next day, Nina is at the weight room overworking herself in a plan to lose
weight needlessly for Ryan just because Jill thinks it will make things
somehow better. Suddenly, Nina has a heart attack and falls over. Jill, who
has been lurking nearby to make sure Nina really follows through on the
exercise rushes over and yells "Somebody call 9-1-1." There is a flurry of
activity. Jill kneels down and shakes Nina violently, "Come on, Nina. Hang
in there. Oh, I tried to tell you something bad would happen to you if you
didn't improve your health..."
At a pay phone across the street from the health club, Trisha watches the
goings-on inside through a picture window. She calls Ryan, "Ryan, it's me,
Trisha. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do lunch..." "I don't think
that's such a good idea, Trisha. Besides, I was planning to eat lunch with
Nina..." "But--but--I heard Nina was going to have to cancel lunch today."
"You did? Where did you hear--uh, hang on a sec, my other phone's ringing."
Trisha gets a smug smile on her face and waits a few moments for Ryan to
return. Finally he does. "Trisha, my wife's being taken to the hospital, I
have to go be with her..." He hangs up. Trisha screams aloud. "No! I can't
believe it Ryan. She's probably dead or dying--she CAN'T eat lunch with you,
but *I* can. And you still want to be with her instead of me? Oh, Ryan, you
said you were my pal--how could you hurt a pal this way?...." She collapses
in a sea of sobbing. Suddenly, her cell phone rings and she picks it up
excitedly. "Hello?" "Hi, Trisha--it's Alec." "Oh, hi," she says with
obvious disappointment. "You don't sound to good--I guess lunch is out?"
"I'm afraid so, Alec. I'm afraid I've got a... a real killer headache!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1997 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!