![[AWO]](../awo-small.gif)
Previous |
Next |
Episode |
Moral
Previous |
Next |
Episode |
Moral
Date: 18 Mar 1998 13:10:20 -0500
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#89: "Musical Shares"
Message-ID: <sfwiupblvjn.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE... * Cassie and friends share their musings about life.
* Sarah amuses herself by scaring Nikki to death.
* Nick is bemused by Sharon's revelation.
* Cricket plays musical chairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 89, 18-Mar-98 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Musical Shares"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cassie is with Grace and Sharon. It's night, but Nick is out celebrating
Victor's birthday. "Cassie, Sharon has something she wants to tell you,"
Grace says. "Actually," Sharon says, "I think you should tell her," Sharon
says. "Me?" Grace says. Sharon nods. "If I remember right, your version of
this story is more detailed than mine." Grace sighs and says, "Ok. Once upon
a time there was a woman named Sharon and she was pregnant with her little
baby... for a really, really long time. 10 months. And even then the baby
was born prematurely." Cassie rolls her eyes. "That can't happen, you know.
But what does it have to do with me?" "Patience, Cassie, I'm coming to
that..."
Later in the night, Grace is still telling the tale of how Cassie was found.
Cassie has curled up in a ball as if to sleep. She mutters, "Wake me when you
get to the part about me." And then she drifts off to sleep. Grace's story
rambles on. Finally she comes to the part about Cassie and says, "Wake up,
sweetie. We're coming to the part about you!" Cassie opens her eyes and
looks skeptically at her. "Sharon, can you check my Mommy's temperature to
make sure she doesn't have a fever? This is a pretty weird story and doesn't
seem to relate to me at all." "I know, Sweetie," Sharon says. "That's what I
thought when I first heard it. But believe me, you're getting the condensed
version--it took three days to tell me this story." "Three days?? I have to
go to school. I can't be here listening to Grace ramble for three days."
"Shhhh," Grace says. "So then I found you at Millie's and I promised Millie
that I'd take you to your birth mother, Sharon." "SHARON? You promised you'd
take me to Sharon and then you didn't? You KIDNAPPED me for months and didn't
tell me you knew who my real mommy was until after I had given up in complete
despair and was ready to settle for you as a substitute?" Sharon chimes in
saying, "Oh, Cassie, the point is that I'm ready to take you now." Cassie
sighs. "Oh, shut up, Sharon. You're the one that gave me away in the first
place--you're not any better! You're just two selfish women fighting over a
toy! And I don't like being the toy."
Cricket arrives at Danny's apartment. She knocks and he opens the door,
surprised to see her. He looks around behind him in the house. "Uh, oh," he
says. "Looks like little Daniel is awake..." "It's ok," she says. "It's ok,
Danny. Paul threw me out. I'm here to stay. You don't have to anesthetize
him any more." "You know about that?" "Danny, of course I know about that.
Don't you think after a while I'd get a little suspicious that he's asleep
every time I come over? Growing kids don't do that. And his arm looks like a
pin cushion from all the times you've done it. I was getting so worried about
him that I had almost decided if I didn't move in with you soon I was going to
call Phyllis and tell her you were drugging your kid." "I wasn't DRUGGING
him. I would NEVER stoop to her level. I was just ... helping him sleep."
"Well, anyway, you don't have to do that any more. You've won. I'm yours
now. Now we can finally be happy, just like we used to be."
Cassie sits down in front of Doris at Collins & Sons. "Mrs. Collins," Cassie
explains, "I want to divorce both Sharon and Grace as my mommy. I don't want
a mommy." "Now, now," Doris comforts her. "Be good now, child. There are
mommies out there that have no kids because their husbands are jerks and had
vasectomies." "There are?" Cassie asks excitedly. "Can we find one of
those?" "I'm sure we can, child," Doris reassures her. "We'll put an ad in
the paper and see what we can turn up."
By now, Cricket and Danny are already beneath the sheets for a long-awaited
reunion. (Did I hear Danny suggesting that "maybe drugging little Daniel just
once more to get him out of the way won't really hurt"?) As Cricket finally
sees Danny, she says, "Wow!" A voiceover from her adds, "It's SO amazing the
tricks memory can play--I remembered it as so much BIGGER!" Her mind drifts
back to Paul, finally bringing a smile to her face. "Oh, yes, I know JUST
what you mean," Danny says, thinking he is lying to her, since he is thinking
pretty much the same as she is... His mind shifts to thoughts of Phyllis. A
muzacked version of "Bless the Beasts and the Children" plays as the scene
fades.
Sharon has been going on about Cassie again. Nick ignores her, reading the
newspaper as she explains the Cassie situation. She finishes saying, "So you
see why I want Cassie to come and live with us--so that she she can finally be
my child." Nick looks up worriedly. "You want Cassie to be your child? Is
this a subtle way of asking me to get a vasectomy?" "WHAT?" she asks. He
points to an ad in the paper and reads, "`Precious little girl seeks home with
loving mother and father who's had vasectomy.' That's you wanting to be the
mother, right? That leaves me getting snipped." "I hear you'll hardly feel
it," Sharon teases. "I hear your father had one." Nick looks at her puzzled.
"I don't think so, Sharon." "Ask him," she says. "I don't have to," Nick
says. "He had me--he couldn't have had a vasectomy," he says proudly, pleased
with his logic. "He had it after he had you," Sharon says. "Oh," Nick says,
his ego deflating like a spent airbag. "So you're SERIOUS about this kid
thing?" he asks. "Yes, I'm serious about Cassie," she says. "But you don't
have to get snipped," she adds. Nick breathes a sigh of relief. "Ok, well,
when you put it that way, I'm starting to warm to the idea," he says.
It's the next day. Cassie, Phillip, Lily, and Nate are on the playground
together at school eating sack lunches. "Anyone want to play chess?" Cassie
asks. "I don't know how," Lily admits. One by one the others say, "Me
neither." There's a pause in the conversation. Nate says, "Let's play
BASSSSSSEEEEEEBALLLLLLLL." "That's boring," Cassie says. "I'm not dressed
for it," Lily says, showing off her dress. "Hockey is better," Phillip says.
"You boys are sooo violent," Lily says. Then she adds, "Why don't we play
Grownups?" "GROAAANNNNups? What's THAT?" Nate asks. "It's where we all play
like we're our parents." "But we don't know what each others' parents are
like," Cassie notes. "That's ok--that'll make it more fun. We can try to
guess," Lily says. "Sounds DUMB," says Nate. "You're just not smart enough
to play, you mean," Lily says. "Am too!" Nate says. "Then prove it!" Lily
says. He glares back at her.
As Joshua leaves for work, Sarah peeks out of the window in her room and blows
him a kiss. Then she turns toward the door and says, "Today, Nikki! It's
time." This being AWO and not the actual show, she proceeds without
commercial intervention to carry through on her threat. She immediately
enters the room where Nikki is and picks up some crystal to polish. "Be
careful with that," Nikki says. "Remember what happened the last time!"
Sarah gives her a blank look and dangles the piece of crystal over the brick
of the nearby fireplace. "This? You're afraid I'll break this?" She tosses
it into the air and catches it. Nikki turns redder. "Why Nikki, you look
like you're about to have a coronary. That's not good for you, you know."
She picks up another piece of crystal and starts to juggle the two. Then,
deftly she grabs a third and manages to keep them all in the air for a short
time before they crash to the ground. Nikki starts to say something but then
does indeed have the aforementioned coronary and collapses on the floor.
Sarah looks to Nikki and then to the glass on the floor. "I should really
call the hospital," she says. "But a tidy household is SOOOooo important to
Nikki--I'd better just clean up this other mess first. She'd want it that
way." She gets a broom and dusts up. Then she starts to make the call to the
hospital but stops herself. "No, I'm not really employed as a medic. That
means this wouldn't be part of my job. So it would be a personal call. And
you don't like me making personal calls. Well, I'll just go to my room and
hope I still remember to make the call when I get there..." She exits.
"Ok," says Nate to Lily. "I'll show you I can play. I'll even start." He
goes back to eating his lunch. "Ok, start," Lily says. He ignores her. He
continues to eat his lunch. "Nate, you said you were gonna play. Now are you
or not." Nate looks at her. "I was playing." "What do you mean?" "I was
being your daddy and you were being your mommy. All they every do's ignore
each other." She giggles. "You're right, Nate! Hey, that was pretty good.
Now, let me try one." She goes and does some somersaults in the grass. Nate
says, "Hey, that's MY MOOOMMMMY thinkin' 'bout MY DAAAADDY!!" "Close," Lily
says. "It is your mommy but that's not she thinks about Uncle Malcolm--he just
makes your mommy smile. She was thinking about MY Daddy!"
Cassie says, "Hey, I want to try this." She goes to Phillip's lunch and finds
a banana and says, "Can I borrow this? I need another prop." "Is this part
of the story?" Phillip asks. "Not yet," Cassie says. "Well, ok," Phillip
says, wanting to see what happens next. She takes the banana and puts it in
her lunch bag. "Are we starting yet?" Nate asks. "Almost," Cassie says. She
whispers some instructions to Lily, who nods. Then Cassie says, "NOW we're
starting." Cassie reaches into her lunch bag and pulls out an orange, saying,
"I'm not really very hungry." Then she tosses the orange on the ground in
Phillip's direction. "Gee, if you weren't hungry, you shouldn't have taken my
banana," Phillip says. "Shhhh," Nate says. "It's part of the story."
Phillip picks up the orange anyway and eyes it hungrily. Lily then whispers
something to Nate, who walks to Cassie and takes her banana, throwing it high
into the air. Before it can land, Lily says to Phillip, "Cassie's going to be
hungry now that her banana was stolen. Can I have that orange to give to
her?" Phillip hands Lily the orange, but by now Cassie has the banana back in
her hands. She dusts it off a little, and then starts to peel it. "Hey,
she's eating my lunch," Phillip says. "Oh, you're right, she is," Lily says.
Then Lily turns to Nate. "Here, why don't you help me eat this orange."
"Hey," says Phillip. "You said you were taking the orange to Cassie." Lily
looks at Cassie and says, "Sharon already has her hands full with the banana.
She can't manage two fruits at once." Cassie looks at Lily and says, "Hey,
that's my orange." Lily looks back at Cassie and says, "It was yours but you
didn't want it--and anyway, your mouth is already full of banana--don't be so
piggy." Phillip asks, "Is this still that grownup game or just a food fight?
I feel like I got swindled out of my lunch."
Cassie hands half a banana back to Phillip. "Sorry," she says. "I guess I
got carried away. Did anyone guess who we were playing?" Their heads shake.
"I'll give you a BIG hint," Cassie says, "I was the orange." No response.
"And my mommy Grace was Lily ... and my other mommy Sharon was me..." "So you
mommy Grace ATE you?" Nate asks, surprised. He examines her for bite marks.
"No," Cassie says, shaking her head sadly. "It's a metaphor." Nate says, "A
metaWHAT?" Cassie says, "I guess I should have picked a less sophisticated
game." "*I* understood," Lily says. "The fruits represented children. You
were the orange, rolling from house to house. The banana, a phallic symbol,
was chosen to represent a boy--young Noah, I assume. The sibling resentment
is modeled by the half-eaten--" Cassie stops her and shakes her head. Then
she makes a motion with her fingers like she's smoking a cigar and says,
"Don't overinterpret. Sometimes, Lily, a banana is just a banana..." The
boys aren't really following any of this, but the sudden imagery of a banana
being a banana is well within their grasp to comprehend. They all laugh.
At dinnertime. Cricket and Danny enter Gina's together and are warmly greeted
by Gina. "Ah, the happy couple reunited at last. I'm so glad to see you two
together again at long last." Danny smiles and says, "Me, too, sis." Cricket
adds, "Well, you can thank Paul for nudging it along. He practically threw me
out of the house this morning." "Well," Gina says, "let's see about getting
you some nice home-cooked food to make you feel like things are ok again."
She takes them to a table. A few moments later, she gets up to make an
announcement. Cricket looks to Danny, "Are you singing tonight?" "Not that
I know of," he responds. "But maybe she's--" Gina starts to talk. "Tonight
we have a very special entertainment segment. An up-and-coming singer I've
heard only once before when he auditioned--this is his debut on the stage.
Ladies and gentleman, The Birdman."
Grace enters the main house to find Joshua pacing around. "Is something the
matter, Dr. Landers?" she asks. Joshua nods. "My wife is in the hospital.
She apparently had a coronary. I'm hoping she'll survive, but I fear the
worst." Grace sighs. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things come out ok."
"What brings you by here?" Joshua asks. "Oh, I just came up for some coffee."
"We're busy telling Cassie a long story and we ran out of coffee down at
Sharon's." Joshua nods. "You could ask Sarah--she's in the kitchen."
In the kitchen, Grace finds Sarah. "Did you hear the awful news about Dr.
Landers wife?" Grace asks. "Oh, yes. I only wish there was something I could
do." "Well, I'm a big fan of substitution therapy," Grace says. "Does Dr.
Landers have a lost ex-wife that perhaps could be substituted for the original
in this time of grief?" Sarah pulls back part of her wig to show the hair
underneath and admits, "Funny you should mention that. It turns out that I'm
secretly Joshua's ex-wife." Grace smiles. "Well, that's perfect then! Just
wait for the wife to die and then step in to comfort him," Grace advises. "Do
you really think that's socially acceptable?" Sarah asks. "Oh, definitely,"
says Grace, "but just one thing--make SURE the wife is dead before you do it.
I've had bad experiences with this where the original didn't die." Sarah
nods. "I can see that. Just one second..." She picks up the phone and dials
the phone. Nikki answers weakly. "Hello?" "Nikki, it's me, Sarah. Your
maid? I'm also Veronica, Joshua's ex-wife that you thought was dead. I'm
here taking care of him while you're stuck in the hospital recovering....
Nikki? Nikki? Hello? ..." She hangs up. "She's alive?" Grace asks
cautiously. "Well, she was," Sarah says. "I think she had a relapse, though.
Thanks for the advice, Grace. Something I can help you with?" "Oh, just the
coffee," Grace replies casually as Sarah helps her with that and sends her on
her way.
The Birdman wears a mask that covers his eyes and nose. But we suspect his
identity--more and more as events progress. The players from Danny's band are
there to offer backup as he starts to sing to the tune of the ever popular
song "Every Breath You Take"...
Every case you take,
Every motion make,
Every bond you post,
Every perp you roast,
I'll be watching you!
Every single trial,
Every punk you rile,
Every clench of fist,
Every slap on wrist,
I'll be watching you!
Oh can't you beeeee
partnered up with meeee?
How my poor heart aaaaaaches
with every case you maaaake...
Every scum you nail,
Every bum you tail,
Every witness grilled,
Every client billed,
I'll be watching you!
Since you've seen that my record is so marred,
I dream at night that you get me undisbarred.
I look around but I've lost my lawyer's card.
You and me, we could beat out Scotland Yard!
I keep pleadin' Cricket, Cricket please...
Oh can't you beeeee
partnered up with meeee?
How my poor heart aaaaaaches
with every case you maaaake...
Every mob plan failed,
Every scam derailed,
Every plot you twist,
I just can't resist:
I'll be watching you!
I'll be watching youuuu...
I'll be WATCHING you...
I'll be watching YOUuuu...
I'll be watching you.
By now, Cricket is lost in tears as she realizes how much she really, REALLY
loves Michael. She then turns and sees that Danny has walked out during the
song, presumably to throw her things back out into the street. Well, easy
come, easy go. Cue "Bless the Beasts" (the real version this time).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1998 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!