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Date: 11 Mar 1998 18:20:06 -0500
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#88: "Rhyme Thyme"
Message-ID: <sfw90qghl21.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE... (Spicing things up after a too-bland Prime-Time episode)
* Will comments true be seen as sage,
as Dru her husband must assuage?
* Will Grace with child play Mrs. Dash,
or will she see she's been too rash?
* When first Nikki with Sarah at bay leaves,
imagine the effect finding Sarah at play achieves!
* Will Jack be sought for business acumen,
or will someone just require his cumin?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 88, 11-Mar-98 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Rhyme Thyme"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Sarah is dusting, she drops a cheap piece of glass worth absolutely nothing
to the floor. "You careless fool!" Nikki says. "That was a priceless item
and you've ruined it." "I'm sorry, Mrs. Landers, I'll pay for it." "You
couldn't pay for it if you lived ten lifetimes," Nikki lies. "I've asked you
to stay away from my husband, and yet you continue to do nice things for
him--fixing him martinis, and getting him to relax." "Isn't that what
servants do?" Sarah asks, with some legitimate confusion. Nikki scowls at
her. "I want you out of here, now!" "But, but--" Sarah says. "NOW!" Nikki
repeats.
Neil arrives home early to find candles burning everywhere and Dru dressed in
something skimpy. "Hi, baby!" Dru says. Neil reacts neither to her having
made up the house, nor to her scampering about cheerfully. He grunts, "Aw,
Dru, I'm really tired. Can we do this another night? I'm not up to it
tonight." "Aw, honey, I'm starting to think you're just avoiding me. I told
you I was giving up my career so I could stay home and make a little brother
or sister for Lily, but I can't do that by myself, Neil. You're gonna have to
help..." "Well, I'm just not sure if I can," Neil confesses. "And just why
is that?" Dru asks, mostly just indignant. "Well, you know--it's just all the
lies--I'm not sure if I trust you any more, Dru." She stops him and says,
"Look, just hold it right there, Neil. Now our marriage is on the line and I
won't take `no' for an answer. Now, if that's what you want then I
prommmmmmmise. Noooo morrrre liiiiies. Ok?" He pauses for a minute as if
this weren't enough. (Would anything be?) Finally he says, "Ok. You win.
One more try. But if I detect even a hint of a lie..." "You won't, Neil." He
smiles. "Ahright... we'll try it. But not now--tonight. I'm just here to
pick up some things and then I have to go back to work."
Later in the afternoon, we see Sarah in her car parked along side the road.
Suddenly, a car drives by and she smiles and starts up her car to follow. What
a coincidence. She pulls into the parking lot at the Newman Ranch at the same
time as Joshua. "Well, hello, Sarah," Joshua says. "Been out doing some
shopping?" "Actually, Dr. Landers, your wife fired me today. I broke a
valuable trinket of hers and she told me I had to go. I offered to pay, but
she threw me out." "I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm afraid Nikki has been quite tense
lately. What brings you by then?" "Actually, I'm here to see Miguel. He and
I have been... dating... you know." "Oh, right. Well, I hope you'll not be a
stranger at my end of the house either." "Maybe I'll stop by for one of those
martinis I could never have when I was working," Sarah says. "Yes, do that!"
Joshua says with a wink.
Dave, Paul's trained associate, follows Grace to the airport. "Ah," he
says as the taxi carrying the two pulls up at the terminal, "a large airport
with thousands of people. I wonder if I should follow them or just assume
they'll be easy to find immediately." Grace and Cassie disappear out of sight.
"Well, that settles it," Dave says to himself. "I'll just park the car,
grab a burger and maybe get my shoes shined, and then mill around the airport
to see if they're still here."
Grace arrives at the airport with Cassie and goes immediately to a ticket
desk. "We need to go to Miami on the next flight out," she says. "Ok," the
attendant says. "That'll be $1800 dollars." Grace stares at her.
"Eighteen?" "... hundred," the attentant says nodding. "A hundred and
eighteen?" Grace asks. "No. One thousand and eight hundred dollars."
"That's a lot of money," Grace says. "That's what you get when you travel
last minute," the attendant says. "How much do you have?" Grace paws through
her purse. "Thirty-seven dollars," she says. Cassie pulls out a $50 from her
pocket. "Millie gave me this but only for emergencies. Is this an
emergency?" Grace grabs the money and says to the man, "Eighty-seven dollars.
What can we get for that?" "For two people?" the attendant says. "Well, we
have this very nice replica of a plane," she says putting a small metal plane
on the counter. "It's usually $20, but I can give it to you for $15 on my
employee discount if you want. She's such a cute kid." Grace looks impatient.
"I'm not looking for a toy plane--I want a real plane. With two seats to fly
us out of here." "Well, I'm sorry ma'am, but for $87 you're not going to find
anyone or anything willing to fly you out of here. Might I suggest you go to
the Bluehound bus lines--they may be able to get you farther..." "Bus lines?"
The attendant nods. Grace sighs as she and Cassie walk back to their car.
As they go, they pass Dave who is standing in line at a fast food counter
and pays them no heed.
In the kitchen, Sarah is talking to Miguel. "Just a minute while I finish
cooking this and then I should have a few minutes to talk to you Sarah." "You
certainly are busy a lot," Sarah comments. "Indeed. Well, I have very
extensive duties and--" Joshua sticks his head into the kitchen. "Miguel?
When you have a free minute, could you do a head count of all the horses on
the ranch--I heard a story on the news about poachers and I want to make sure
no one's been stealing any of ours." "Certainly, Dr. Landers," Miguel says.
As Joshua closes the door behind him, Miguel looks apologetically to Sarah.
"That will take quite some time to finish, I'm afraid. I hope you don't mind
waiting around a while..." "I'll be fine," Sarah says. "Dr. Landers invited
me to stop by and say `hello'." "Excellent," Miguel says. "I'll look for you
with him after I'm done in the field."
At the Winters home, Neil has arrived home again. He dresses down and comes
into the bedroom nude to find his wife waiting in bed. We get lots of good
beefcake shots of him from behind as he follows her beneath the covers. Then
suddenly we hear, "That's all you've got to offer?" "Dru, that's the same as
I've always been." Dru laughs out loud. "Well, you're welcome to try, but
it's going to take a lot more than that to please old Dru." "Dru, come on now,
baby. This has always been enough for you in the past." "Yeah, so I've told
you, Neil. But remember--I prommmmised. No more lies..."
Sarah enters the living room carrying martinis. She offers one to Joshua.
"Thank you, Sarah," he says. "Always happy to serve you, Dr. Landers."
"Please, if you're not working here, call me Joshua." "Ok... Joshua..." she
says tentatively. Just then, Nikki enters to see the two together. She
freaks out. "Sarah! What are you still doing here. I told you I want you
out. I don't want to see you anywhere near my husband again!" Sarah smiles
slightly as Joshua comes to her defense. "Sarah's just here socially, Nikki.
She's dating Miguel, remember? Something YOU encouraged." "Oh, right. And
since I don't work for you any more," Sarah interjects, "I won't be taking
orders from you about who to socialize with and who not to." Nikki stares her
down. "Oh, no? Well, you may not work here but this is still my house,
and--" she start to say. But Joshua cuts her off. "Actually, Nikki, it's
half mine. And I invited Sarah to stop by. So unless you're issuing edicts
to me, too, I suggest you just lighten up. She's not doing any more dusting,
so the fancy glass things are no longer at risk. Now she's just hanging out
and being friendly like the rest of us." Nikki looks at him astonished that
he is not taking her side. Then she looks back at Sarah. Finally she emits a
noise that is a cross between a sigh and a growl and turns to leave in
disgust. Joshua and Sarah just look at each other, giggle, shrug, and clink
their martini glasses.
"Forgive my wife," Joshua says. "I think she's jealous." "Jealous?" Sarah
asks curiously. "Well, she thinks you have a crush on me," he says. "And do
you think the same?" Sarah asks. Joshua pauses for a while and then says, "I
honestly don't know, Sarah. But actually, the truth is that I think I have a
bit of a crush on you. That's probably all she's sensing... but don't
worry--I've got Nikki and you've got Miguel, so there's no reason for either
of us to act on it, is there?" Sarah smiles. "No, of course not, Joshua.
None at all." She leans over as if to kiss him when Miguel enters. "Ah,
there you are, Dr. Landers. I've finished the count of the horses--all present
and accounted for," he says proudly. Joshua looks impatient about the
intrusion. He looks at his watch. "You know, Miguel, they said that
sometimes the poachers come at night. You'd better do one more count now at
night to make sure the numbers come out the same." "An excellent idea,"
Miguel says, with an tone unusual for him. Suppressed irritation? He exits
with no further word. Joshua winks at Sarah. "Now where were we..." This
time he goes to kiss her, but her wig comes off. "Veronica!" he says with
surprise. "Oops," says Sarah with an unconvincing giggle. "You don't mind
do you?" she asks. "That I'm about to have an affair with my wife? Uh, no,
actually--although I'm admittedly curious how it is that you're still alive.
But anyway, here you are, and it may make things easier to explain to Nikki
when the time comes... But I'm kind of partial to the wig--do you think you
could keep it?" She pulls it back on and says, "You prefer Sarah to Veronica?"
He laughs. "Silly isn't it?" In a voiceover though, we hear a demonic
Veronica say, "Silly, isn't it. Well, Sarah--I knew this day would come.
Your days are numbered. There's not room enough in this body for both of us.
Some day--some day soon--you're going to have to die!"
Jack is pacing back and forth in his office with the book of medical info in
his hands. "Should I or shouldn't I?" he asks himself. Just then, Jack's
secretary enters with an ornate envelope. "This just came by special
messenger," Jennifer explains. Jack is distracted and barely notices.
"Thanks..." he manages to utter, more by reflex than conscious thought. He
puts the book on the table and starts to tear into it without paying much
attention. As the card inside comes out, he glances down and starts to read
its odd message. "Jack, I know I have no right to ask, but I have no one else
to turn to and you've always stood by me. As you surely know, I have recently
become consumed by the idea of having a child. And yet my husband is unable
to provide me one. I know it's a lot to ask, but if you would even consider
secretly fathering my child, I would be forever in your debt. I know, I
know--I had my chance with you and I blew it; but I hope you'll see fit to
give me this one last chance. As you now, a child is a special bond that no
one can ever break. I'll be at the Genoa City Hotel tonight. Room 810.
Please don't let me down. Yours in spirit, if not in wedlock."
Jack arrives at room 810 of the Genoa City Hotel. He is dressed handsomely
but does not carry the book of medical information. He looks around, takes a
deep breath, and reads the card one last time. "You're right, Diane," he says
aloud. "This is asking a lot of me. A damned lot. But what's a man to do?"
He knocks on the door, but as he does he notes it pushes open into a large
suite. There is a table in front of the door with a bottle of champagne next
to it and a glass on the table. He checks the glass. "Freshly poured," he
mutters. A card by the envelope says, "Second bedroom. Birthday suits only."
As he looks around, he sees a basket with a woman's clothing in it. He starts
to disrobe, placing his clothing in the same basket.
As Jack enters the second bedroom, we see that it's dark. He plays with the
lightswitch, but it has no effect. "Diane?" he asks. "Did you do this?"
There is no answer. A finger is placed over his lips as if to quiet him and
he shrugs, closing the door behind him. We hear a sound that is probably Jack
being pushed onto the bed and then the sound of someone joining him.
It's dawn and a disheartened Paul and Chris escort Sharon home after a
fruitless night's search. "Look, it's a postcard from Cassie!" Sharon says as
she gets to the front porch. "Maybe it will have a clue," Paul says
hopefully. Sharon reads it aloud: "Dear Sharon, I'm writing to you from the
airport where we came but aren't staying. Grace didn't know it was so
expensive. We were going to fly somewhere far away today but now it looks
like we'll just be taking a short drive to Madison to stay with Grace's mother
because it's cheaper and we'll still have money left over for pizza and donuts
while Grace tries to find another job where she doesn't have to show up much
but they'll still pay her like she did. Does Jabot have any offices in
Madison? Maybe she could work at one of them. I'm sorry I was in such a
grumpy mood when I last visited you. I know it seemed completely out of
character. I didn't know why I kept saying those things to you, but I
couldn't help myself. Later I realized it must be PMS. I thought that was
not supposed to happen until I was older, but then I remembered everyone calls
me `that precocious little girl' and so early PMS must be part of being
precocious. Well, I have to go, but I'll write again. Grace says I can't
tell where I'm going, but you're like family so I'm sure she didn't mean you.
Love, Cassie. P.S. Please kiss Noah for me and tell Miguel I miss his cooking
already."
Jack awakens to see Nikki at the dressing table. "Nikki?" he
asks, disoriented. "What happened to Diane? Did you two--" he stops,
worried. Nikki gives him a look of disdain. "Really, Jack," she says. "I'd
think you'd remember better than that--I'm sure Diane would never have done
all those things for you..." "You? That was you?" "In the flesh," Nikki
says. "But the note..." Jack says. "A husband that can't fulfill me?" Nikki
says. "Just being realistic. Joshua is impotent, in case you didn't know."
Jack raises an eyebrow. "Impotent? Really? I had no idea." Nikki shakes
her head. "Well, he says he's not. He says if I'd just wear this dumb wig he
carries around that he'd be able to--well, you know. But it looks more like a
toilet seat cover than a wig--I can't see what he sees in it. It's definitely
NOT me. And if that's what it takes to get him going, then I'm not
interested. But I don't want Victor to know that or he'll think he's won."
"But what about Joshua?" Jack asks. "Surely -he'll- know." Nikki nods. "Oh,
he'll know," she agrees, "but he isn't going to admit his problem to anyone,
so there's really very little that will come of it. He'll accept the child as
his own--what else can he do, really?"
Sharon says, "Oh, no!! She's done it. She's run away with Cassie. Now we'll
never see her again." Paul nods apologetically. "I'm sad to have to admit it,
but my guy Dave really blew this one. And now that she's out of town, it'll
be pretty hard to get a fix on her." Cricket says, "No, wait, you guys. It
says right here in the postcard where she's going. We can still catch up to
her." Paul and Sharon practically knock heads together as they lean in to see
what Cricket is pointing at. "You mean there's hope?" Sharon says. Paul now
pretends he knew it all along. "Of course there's hope. I'll just send Dave
over to Sharon's mother's house..." Sharon scrunches up her nose. "Uh, could
we send someone other than this Dave fellow? I wasn't very impressed with his
work last night and..." Paul looks at a loss. "Well, I don't have anyone
else..." Cricket says, "Unless..." She starts dialing her cell phone. "Who
are you calling?" Paul asks. It answers. 'Hello?" comes the familiar voice.
"Mary, hi.. It's Christine... I'm calling about a kidnapped child. I'm hoping
you can help...."
Dru arrives at Mary Williams' house. Carl answers the door. "Mary's on
an urgent assignment out of town," he explains. "What can I do for you?"
Dru looks around and then steps in the door. "I need to contact my secret
agent," she says. "I gotta get out of town," she says. "Giving up on your
marriage?" "Not exactly." "Your husband changed his mind about your
modeling?" "Not exactly. Let's just say my husband is `reconsidering' the
acceptabilities of a few `small lies' in a marriage--I gave him a lot to think
about and it's going to take him a while to sort things out. Meanwhile, I
miss modeling and wanted to take some time away to do some of that while my
husband thinks..." Carl nods. "Let's go downstairs and call Sid from my
office," he says.
Much later in the day. The phone rings at Grace's. And rings. The camera
pans around until it finds Tony in bed with someone, working up a sweat. He
says to someone we can't see, "I really gotta get this," and then picks up the
phone. "Hello?" "Tony," comes the voice from the other end of the line,
"it's me, Grace." "Oh, hi. I didn't expect to be hearing from you any more.
How's life in--wherever you are?" "Not so good, Tony." "But I thought
getting away from Sharon was supposed to fix everything." "That's what I
thought, too. But it's not. Back in Genoa City, I only had to worry about
Sharon stealing Cassie back. But this place--I don't know how to describe it.
But it's overrun with little old ladies from the neighborhood church who keep
wanting to bring Cassie sandwiches and soup and to knit her mittens and hats.
I can't explain it, Tony, but I think they're after her." "Calm down, you're
sounding a little paranoid there, Grace. And Cassie can probably use a good
meal and some new mittens..." "I'm coming back, Tony. I don't care if I do
have to deal with Sharon. I can't take these little old ladies any more."
She hangs up. Tony turns back to his visitor.
"Bad news?" Victoria asks Tony after he hangs up. "I'm not sure," Tony says.
"Grace is coming back," he adds. "And I suppose she'll want your apartment
back?" "Well, the lease is in her name..." Victoria looks unimpressed.
"Yeah, but she'd never be able to pay for it if she didn't have that cushy job
at Jabot. I could just fire her..." "Oh, don't do that," he pleads. "She'd
just press me into service as a baby sitter." "Well," Victoria says, "that
would be a waste of your considerable talents. All right, she can keep the
job--as long as she actually shows up for it once in a while." "You mean she
provides a useful service over there?" Tony asks, surprised. "No, silly,"
Victoria says. "I don't care what she does at Jabot--I just want her to leave
you free once in a while for my own purposes. Now get back down here and show
me you can finish what you started or I'll reconsider YOUR job as a--what was
that cover story?" "A mechanic," Tony says. "Oh, right. I can't believe
anyone bought that. Imagine a mechanic making the kind of money you do on
such a part time basis...." "Oh, I dunno. I think it describes things
perfectly. You call me when you're in need of a tune-up, and I leave you with
your `motor' veritably purring," Tony says with a wink. "Well, get to it,
Mr. Mechanic," Victoria says. "I've been experiencing a slow, steady drip
from my engine all day and I need it serviced--NOW." They both laugh and he
pulls the covers over them as the lights fade.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1998 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!