Episode 91, originally published 29-Mar-98

Lost in Thought

"Oh, Ryan," Trisha says, examining the divorce certificate. "Now we can move in with each other." "Not so fast, Trisha. I love you, but I don't want to do this without your father's approval." "Oh, Ryan. Really? That's so sweet. Oh, Ryan, I love you for that."

Keith answers the door at his home. Ryan is there. "Ryan?" Keith asks, unsure of why he's there. "My daughter isn't home right now." "Yes, I know. I came to see you, sir." "I'd been wondering if you'd have the guts to do that," Keith says. "Still determined to do me in at every turn, Mr. Dennison?" Ryan asks. Keith goes to his desk and starts pawing around among some checks. Ryan stands firm. "I can't be bought off, sir," he says. Keith laughs. "We'll see." He finds an envelope marked Ryan McNeil. He writes on it, "Do not open until tomorrow morning."

Back at the hospital, after a brief view of an unconscious Nikki, the camera cuts away to Victor, Nick, and Victoria in the chapel. "Lord," Victor says, "I know we haven't spoken directly recently, but my associates have checked in on you from time to time and they assured me you have a surplus of miracles ready to roll on a moment's notice. So this is it, Lord--I'm giving the word. Please save Nikki, ahright? Because if you don't, I will personally make sure you--" He stops, noticing that Victoria is shaking her head at him. "Don't threaten him, Dad. It's poor form." "Well, you know, I just have to let him know we mean business," Victor explains. "Dad, I'm sure he'll figure it out," Victoria says. "After all, he is omniscient," she adds. "And omnipotent," Nick adds. Victor raises his eyebrows at Nick. "Are you suggesting your father is impotent, or what?" Victoria intervenes. "Trust me, Dad. Omnipotence is not a measure of sexual prowess. And everybody knows you've had quite a few more women than God has, so..." Victor thinks about it and seems appeased. "Very well," he says, turning again to God, "don't worry about what I'll do if you don't save Nikki, because I'll just trust that you will, ahright?" Then, confusing this form of communication with a telephone, he just stops without saying "amen". "All right," Victor says to his kids, "let's go see if your Mommy's awake and ready to check out with us, ok?"

In a nearby room, there is a brief sound of churchy music as if a miracle might be coming in response to Victor's sincere plea, and Nikki's eyes open and her vital signs return to normal. A nurse sees the improvement and starts to excitedly rush out of the room yelling "Doctor!" but before she can reach the door, a booming voice yells "Stop!" and the action comes to a halt. The director comes rushing in. "Who yelled cut? Was that you, Bill?" Bill Bell comes in, too. "It wasn't me." The voice booms, "It was me, God." The stage manager checks his clipboard. "Your business is done for the day, God. Nikki's recovered. Take a hike." "A hike?" "Yeah, you're only a recurring. You have no regular part here." There is thunder and lightning. Bell moves to center stage and says, "Look, God, I don't know what's got you so upset. We're showing a miracle--it should be great for your business." The voice booms back, "It's too easy." "Too easy?" Bell says incredulously. "We worked for hours coming up with this script." "No, it suggests I have some sort of quickserve window, like some of your fast food sponsors. Christianity does not offer a 5 minute service guarantee." Bell looks pensive for a moment. "I see. Well, look, we'll try to take that into account the next time we use you, but..." Another flash of lightning, and a copy of Soap Opera Digest falls at Bell's feet. "Page 86," the voice booms. Bell flips to page 86. "It's the Neilsens. We're the number one show. What's your point?" More thunder and lightning. Bell watches the page and sees the numbers on it start to decline. "Hey, that's a neat trick," he says. "I bet you can't make them go the other way," he taunts. Still more thunder and lightning and the numbers start to fall faster. Y&R is now in second place. "Ok, ok. Put it back," he says, finally relenting. "We'll do the scene another way!" He nods to a special effects person who causes Nikki's vital signs to drop. Melody Thomas Scott, who had been sitting up in bed sipping on a saline solution to replenish her tear ducts, suddenly slumps back unconscious on the bed. All clear the stage, except the nurse who looks back at Nikki and says, "That's funny, I could have sworn she was getting better." The nurse shrugs and exits quietly.

Victor, Nikki, and Nick enter Nikki's hospital room. "All set, Mom?" Nick asks. "We said our prayer." "Yeah, Dad said it even," Victoria adds. "And Nikki," Victor says, "I just want you to know that I--" he stops and looks at her. She is not awake. "Hello? Nikki?" he asks. "She seems to be unconscious," Nick says. Just then, Jill enters and says, "Well, thank you Dr. Newman for that brilliant diagnosis," Jill says. "Jill? What are you doing here?" Victoria asks. "Well, with reports like that one your brother wrote recently, we're not getting any work done over at Jabot," Jill says. "So I decided to take a little time off and see how Nikki was doing. But with Nick busy advising the doctors here, I can see it's going to be a while." Nick gives her an angry look and then rushes out, muttering "I don't have to stand around and take this..."

In the hallway, Nick realizes he doesn't know where he's going, so he eventually stops and sits. A few moments later, David Kimble appears out of nowhere in a puff of red smoke and sits down beside him. Nick looks up and stares for a few minutes at his forehead. Kimble notices and patiently waits for Nick to say something stupid about it. Finally Nick notices David is watching him and says nervously, "Hey, that's a real `killer' haircut you got there..." Kimble laughs and says, "Nick, you're my kind of guy." "You know my name?" Nick says. "Uh, of course, everyone knows your name," Kimble says, covering. "Oh, right," Nick says with a modest blush. "So are you waiting on someone here?" Nick asks. "You might say that," Kimble says. "Sure takes a long time, doesn't it?" Nick asks. "Oh, yeah, the wait can be hellish," Kimble says. "I just wish there were something I could do to hurry up my Mom's recovery," Nick says. "Perhaps there is," David says, nudging Nick toward the inevitable. "No, I don't think so," Nick says. "We tried prayer and that didn't work." "Tsk, tsk. That God. I keep telling him he should upgrade the tracking equipment at his fulfillment center, but he keeps saying good things are worth waiting for." Nick sighs and says, "Well, maybe. But what if Mom dies while we're waiting?" "Precisely my point, boy," David says. "So you know God personally?" Nick asks. "You might say that," David says. "Let's say we're long-time acquaintances; these days we're business rivals." "Business rivals? Like you offer the same services and stuff?" David nods. "Well, could you save my mother?" David smiles. "For a price..." "Anything, I'll pay. Can I get immediate delivery?" David nods. "Well, where do I sign?" Nick asks.

Nick rushes back into the hospital room, asking "How is she?" "I'm fine, honey," Nikki says. "When did this happen?" he says. "Just a moment before you came in. Why?" Victoria asks. "Just wanted to make sure I didn't get cheated," Nick says. "Cut!" Bill Bell yells. "What is all this instant gratification stuff?" he asks as he walks onto the stage. "I thought we agreed--" "That agreement was with the man upstairs," David Kimble says, entering again in a puff of red smoke. "This recovery was arranged through me." "David Kimble?" Bell says. "But we shredded your contract years ago." "Well, I'm sorry about that, but Nick just traded me his," Kimble explains. "I did?" Nick says. Bell turns to Nick. "Nick? Did you do this?" Nick shrugs. "He told me I was signing away my soul contract." "Did not," says David. "Yes, you did!" says Nick. "I said you were signing away your sole contract. S-O-L-E, Nick." "Well, I was never very good at spelling. And it would have been out of character for me to read the fine print, sir. I'm not very bright you know. That's the way you created my character." Bell sighs. "No," he says, "I refuse to have this be another year like last year with Heather and Michelle taking off in the middle of a plot. Look, Nick, I'm going to write you another contract--and David, ok, we'll work you in somehow. Evil twin or something. Now everyone, back to places. We've got a show to do." Bell takes David off to the side and points at a page of Soap Opera Digest. "By the way," he asks, "I've been praying for these numbers to come up a bit but salvation doesn't seem to be forthcoming. I don't suppose you could..." The lights fade out as they presumably go on to discuss Nielsens.

Ryan returns home to find his lovely catch setting up house. "What's going on here?" he asks. "Oh, I just knew Daddy would say 'yes' so I figured I'd go ahead and move in," she explains. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. Ryan opens it and in rolls a huge spread of food. "Wow, what's all this?" asks Ryan. "Well, it's my first night living with you and I wasn't sure if you were all set up to be taking me out for dinner. So I took care of it." "But it looks awfully expensive," Ryan says. "It's ok. I put it on my credit card!" Trisha says. "Oh Ryan, you are just such a wonderful man. Nothing is too good for you." He smiles happily as she veritably jumps him. "Well, uh, let's eat, shall we?" he says.

Much later, after the doctor has cleared all the patients out, he comes over to Nikki and pats her on the forehead, saying, 'You can rest now, Nikki. Your family is gone for the day." She opens her eyes and sits up. "Thank you, Doctor." "How long do you plan to keep it up?" the doctor asks. "Oh, I dunno. Another day or two. I mean, it's not like it's something I had planned. The ironic thing is that I was wearing the bullet proof vest and the stage blood in case Victor's wife Diane shot me--it was just an accident that Sarah shot me first. But since she did, I'm going to milk this for all it's worth. I'll make Victor realize who he's really in love with--he'll see." "As you like, Mrs. Landers. Anyway, as I said, you'd better rest. I'll wake you a little before visiting hours tomorrow so you can get back in gear." "Thank you doctor," she says with a wink, and she closes her eyes in eager anticipation of the sleep to follow.

The next morning, Ryan is awakened by Trisha moving around. "What's up? Did I oversleep?" he asks. "No, Ryan. It's ok. Just keep sleeping. I just like to get up really early so I can get to the mall early--in case there are any sales, you know?" "Oh, ok. Saving us money already. Good plan," he says, half asleep, and falls back into unconsciousness.

Sharon arrives at Doris's, bright and early as well. Miguel answers the door. "Hello, Miguel," Sharon says. "It's a surprise to see you here," she says, "especially after that little fling I heard about between you and Sarah." Miguel blushes slightly. "That was my fault, actually," Doris says, wheeling up to the door. "You remember my friend Kurt Costner? He was visiting for the weekend, and I'm afraid things got a little out of control--you know." Sharon shakes her head. "Mother, you are such a woman about town, I tell you." "The important thing," says Miguel, "is that your mother and I have patched things up." Sharon nods. Suddenly they notice they're all still standing in the doorway. "Well, come in, come in," says Doris. "Yes, please do," says Miguel. "A moment away from my duties at the ranch and here I am forgetting all my manners."

Later, as Ryan awakens, he reaches out to his bedside table and opens the envelope Keith gave him. Inside is a bundle of smaller envelopes with a rubber band around them. A handwritten note is attached. "Ryan, The man who inherits my daughters charms inherits my daughter's debts. I hope you'll do the right thing. Keith."

"Miguel was just telling me about the shootings out at the ranch," Doris explains to Sharon. "Shootings?" Sharon asks. "You haven't heard about it? It happened just the other night, when Miguel was staying overnight with me. I'd have thought your husband would have told you by now," Doris says. "Well, that's what I came to talk to you about, Mom. My husband and I haven't been communicating very well lately. And now Cassie's finally aware that I'm her mother. So I was wondering if maybe she could stay here for a few days--just until I'm able to explain it better to Nicholas." "Well, you know, honey, I'd normally love to do it. But now--with these shootings out at the ranch--I told Miguel he could stay here." "Oh, right, you said something about that. Who got shot?" Sharon asks, barely paying attention. Miguel responds. "Well, Sen~or Landers was fatally shot, but Sra. Landers is only in intensive care." "That's terrible," Sharon mutters. "Will they be ok?" "It's looking bad for Sr. Landers," Miguel says. "But his wife still has a chance." "Well, give them both my best when you see them, Miguel. So, Mom, you're saying I can't leave little Cassie here with you?" "Well, child, I just don't think it'd be such a good idea, having me and Miguel shacking up with an impressionable young girl around." "Yeah, I guess you're right," Sharon says. "Ok, Mom. Well, I better be going. I have to find someone who can do this."

Later that same day, Trisha arrives home with several shopping bags full of clothes. Ryan's not smiling. "What's the matter, honey?" she says. "It's your father," Ryan explains. "He's promised to make trouble for me if you move in here. And while I'm sure there's no obstacle he could put in my path that together we couldn't get past, I still think it's better to wait until we have his blessing..." "Oh, Ryan, I love you soooo much," Trisha says, as she starts re-packing her stuff to move back home.

At Grace and Tony's, Sharon knocks on the door. Tony answers. "Tony, good," Sharon says, pushing her way in. "Is Grace around?" "No, she's at work, if you can imagine that." "Will wonders never cease," Sharon says, shaking her head. "Look, Tony, I need a BIG favor." "After what we've put you through these last few months? It's yours. What do you need, Shar'?" "I need a place to put Cassie up--until I can tell Nicholas." "Sharon, let me get this straight. You want us to house Cassie, until you can tell Nicholas?" "I know, it sounds weird, but Nicholas and I don't see eye to eye on this and I just can't tell him." "I dunno, Sharon. How is this different than how things were before?" "Because Cassie will know she's not getting to stay with her REAL MOM. And she'll learn to yearn for me. `Absence makes the heart grow fonder,' isn't that what they say?" Tony looks unconvinced. "I don't think they say it in this particular situation," he says. "Look, are you going to do this for me or am I going to have to find someone else?" "No, no, We'll do it. Where is she now?" "Home. I left her there with Miguel--oops." "Oops?" "Well, I thought Miguel would be there with her, but I just realized something. Look, I gotta go--ok, Tony? Bye!"

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 92!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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