Episode 90, originally published 22-Mar-98

Great Affectations

Sharon enters Collins & Sons to find Doris working at her desk. "Hello, Mom," Sharon says meekly, trying to get her mother's attention. "Sharon," Doris says as she looks up to find her daughter standing there. "What brings you by, Girl? You look upset about something." "I am, Mom. I don't know what it is--Nicholas walked out on me this morning and I couldn't seem to stop him." "Well, he's upset about all that time you're spending with young Cassie," Doris says knowingly. "But Mom, Grace has finally given her over to me for good. What am I supposed to do? I have to spend time with her. She's my daughter." "I see. So your husband walked out of the house thinking you were spending all your time with a friend's child, and you said--?" "Well, I didn't say anything, Mom. What could I say? That Cassie's my child? It would take weeks to explain and there he was walking out the door." "Well, how about, ``Nicholas, wait, Cassie is MY child!''? Could you say something like that?" Doris asks. "Of course not, Mom. Do you think if I could that I'd be sitting here with you?" "I think you need some help," Doris says. "But I don't, Mom. Why do people keep saying that? I can handle two children at once--lots of people do it all the time." "That's not the kind of help I mean, Girl," Doris says seriously.

Sharon is with Cassie in the kitchen baking dinner. Cassie puts her hands out as if to pick up a boiling hot pot of water without mittens. Sharon stops to stare, but in spite of the impending danger, she is paralyzed and unable to speak. As the camera focuses in slo-mo on Cassie's hands coming ever so close to the pot, a voiceover dreamlike conversation happens between Sharon and her mother. "But mother, the physics involved in understanding about boiling water and how temperature passes through various kinds of metal is very complicated. I didn't really learn about that until high school, and Cassie is just a young child." Doris replies, "Girl, you don't have to teach her all of that. How about just screaming ``Cassie, don't!'' and then whipping her hands away from the boiling hot object before they're fried?" "Mom, she's just a little child. She'd never understand what was going on. And I don't want to pressure her into learning faster than she's--" Her dream is interrupted by a terrifying scream. Poor Cassie has burned her hands on the pot. It looks bad. Very bad. "Sharon, why di'n't you tell me?" Cassie shrieks. "A real Mommie like Grace would have told me!" But Sharon isn't listening to the critique of her mommyhood, she is on the phone dialing 9-1-1.

In Sharon's apartment, Cassie has burned her hands badly and Sharon is trying to get through to 9-1-1. "Hello?" she says, "I need help. My daughter was reaching for something hot on the stove and burned herself and I--" "Is the girl conscious?" Sharon gets impatient, "conscious? Of course she's conscious. How do you think she managed to reach for the hot object if she wasn't conscious. Don't you understand? I need help. I'm just not very good at speaking directly to the point. Now I was thinking maybe if I set up a few counselling sessions, I could--" "Check the girl's hands." "I don't need to check the girl's hands. They're burnt, ok? Boy, and you guys think I have trouble getting to the point--I just don't need this right now. I'll call for an appointment on Monday!" She slams down the phone in anger. "But, Sharon, my hands are burned!" Cassie says. "Oh, put a sock in it!" Sharon says as she paces back and forth. "I just can't think. I can't think..." She walks out onto the porch for some air.

Nikki comes storming out of her bedroom after a minor tiff with Joshua. "Ooohh, that man. Everything is `Sarah this' and `Sarah that'. You'd think that woman was his personal handmaiden. And he's starting to get so fond of her it's hard for a wife to compete. Well, two can play at that game!" She disappears out of sight into a supply room at the end of the hall.

Nikki emerges from the supply room wearing an old robe and a toilet seat cover loosely pulled over her head looking like an ugly, fuzzy wig. She also wears a pair of safety goggles like those that might be worn over regular glasses when doing construction work. She is muttering "Ok, Joshua, if you can't respond except to a tacky looking maid, then I guess that's what I'll be." Just before entering the bedroom, she pinches her nose and says, "Is there anything I can do for you, Dr. Landers? Anything at all?" then she walks in. Joshua motions her in and invites her into the bed. "Sarah, I've wanted you so much," he says. But Sarah is in her room hearing this on the bugging device she's set up. She immediately jumps up and runs to Joshua's room.

"Joshua, how could you!" Sarah says as she enters. "I'm the one you want!" Nikki, who is in bed with her husband says, "Oh, yeah? Well, I'm his wife!" and she pulls off the toilet seat cover to prove it. Sarah looks smug and says, "Oh, yeah? Well I'm his wife, too!" and she also pulls off her wig and reveals herself. Joshua mutters, "Veronica!" But Nikki is not to be outdone. She says, "Well, I'm your employer and you're fired, so get out!" But Sarah pulls out a gun and says, "Well, I'm your executioner and you're fired AT, so get out of that bed!" She pulls the trigger and Nikki falls to the side. Then she pushes Nikki's limp body off of the bed and onto the floor. Joshua is unable to speak (among other things). Sarah sizes up the situation and says to him, "Oh, honey, it's ok. I'm done using my gun--we can go back to using yours--unless it doesn't work any more. And if that happens--well, we can always go back to mine again.'' She climbs into bed and whispers to Joshua, "Don't you see, Darling? Everything is going to be Ooo-Kay....."

"Joshua, you are not helping," Sarah says. "I'm sorry, Sarah--Veronica--it's very hard for me to get into this with Nikki laying there bleeding next to us and all." "Well, we could go in another room, but I think that's just an excuse, Joshua. I think you don't want me any more. I thought you loved me Joshua--do you love me? Say you love me." Joshua says nothing. "Just what I suspected. You're still under her spell. Well, you can join her for all I care." She gets up and shoots him and pushes his body over onto hers. "There," she says. "Now you two can be together for all I care." She rushes out to pack and leave.

Joshua and Nikki are together on the floor bleeding. Joshua says to Nikki, "Nikki?" She rolls her head a little toward him, "Yes, dear?" "Do me a favor?" "Of course, Joshua." "Veronica's a little messed up. If you get out of this alive, could you cut her a break and finger someone else?" "Of course, dear..."

The next day, somewhere in the Caribbean, Victor and Diane are enjoying their trip around the world when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Victor opens it to find police outside. They enter and move toward Diane. "Diane Newman?" "I am," she replies, confused. "You're under arrest for the murder of Joshua Landers."

Tony picks up the ringing phone in his apartment. "Hello?" "Tony, hi, it's Sharon." "Hi, Sharon, what's up?" "Well, it's Cassie's birthday and I'm having a surprise party--I was hoping you and Grace could come." "Sorry, Sharon, Grace has left town--I think she's upset about having lost Cassie and all. She wanted to get a fresh start in another town." "That's terrible. Well, I mean, I wish her the best but... Well, you should feel free to drop by if you want." "What time?" "4 o'clock." "I'll be there."

Sharon greets Nick at the door. "Quick, come inside. Miguel will be returning shortly with Cassie. Everybody hide." Nick, Sharon, Doris, Tony, and Katherine Chancellor all duck out of sight and wait for the door to open. (Well, except for Doris, who rolls into the next room.) When Cassie (whose hands are by now all bandaged) and Miguel enter, Cassie immediately notices the balloons all over and says "What's all this?" Then everyone jumps up and yells "Surprise!" Clever camera angles and the presence of Katherine give the impression that the room is full of happy friends of Cassie's celebrating. "Surprise?" she says. "Yes, Cassie, it's your birthday." "It is? I don't think so. My birthday is not until November." "It's ok, sweetie, your records are probably just confused--I know what day you were born." "No, I have no records," Cassie insists. "No records?" "No." "Then you might not be my little girl?" "I don't know. You could ask Millie." Sharon picks up the phone and calls Millie. "Millie? You don't know me, but my name is Sharon. I'm Cassie's-- well, that is, I think I'm Cassie's mother. Am I? She says her birthday is in November, but I know it's in March. .... Oh, I see. No, Grace didn't tell me that she did so little inquiring and so much assuming ... Yes, I understand. I will--I will take it up with Grace, thanks." "What did she say?" Cassie asks. "Good news," Sharon says. "You get to go and live with Mommie Grace after all."

Tony, Sharon and Cassie pull up in front of a house with a white picket fence. "Are you sure this is the address?" Sharon asks Tony. Tony nods. "Yep. This is it. She said she's already found a husband and she's happily settled." Sharon takes Cassie up to the porch but can't press the button. She peers in the window and sees Grace examining a home pregnancy kit. It's positive. "Oh, my God!" she says to herself. Then she says to Tony, "She's pregnant with a child of her own. I can't burden her with Cassie at a happy moment like this. I'll have to take her home and raise her as my own!"

Jill is watching the News when she notices a story that interests here and grabs the remote to turn it up. "In other news today," says the announcer, "Chancellor Industries stock fell for the third straight day today. Industry analysts blame continued poor oversight since the death of Katherine Chancellor's husband Rex. If this keeps up, says one analyst, the once-great empire could be available at bargain basement prices in time for Christmas. I'm told that we attempted to reach Katherine Chancellor for comment, but were unable because, and I quote, her maid insisted on speaking only in alphabetic codes. That's a new one to me--I don't know what it means, but I'm sure we'll keep trying and let you know if we get through."

As she arrives home, Sharon is surprised to open the door and see Cassie already inside. "Cassie, how did you?" The little girl looks up at her and says, "Who are you?" "I'm Sharon, your mother." "Well, you may be my mother but I'm not Cassie. I'm Sassie." "Well, you sure look like Cassie," Sharon says. "No, she looks like me. I'm your real daughter. I was Alice and Millie's kid first--they bought me illegally from the dude you ditched me with. But I was too much of a monster and they gave me back--traded me in for a cheap lookalike with better manners." "Well, that's all very nice, but I'm afraid I already have enough kids, and I definitely don't need one with no manners, so you won't be able to stay. How did you even get in here?" Sharon explains. "I broke in. I'm good at that--you'll see. And I'm here to stay. You know what they say, don't you?" "No," says Sharon, "I'm afraid I don't." The child gives her an evil grin, "You can't always choose your family!" Just then, Nick enters and says to Sharon, "Sharon, I'm sorry I've been hard to talk to about this Cassie thing, but I--" He sees Sassie in the living room and then turns his head to see Cassie coming up the porch. He throws up his hands and says, "No. This is not happening. I am outa here!"

Jill shows up at the Chancellor estate and rings the doorbell. Esther answers. "Oh, hello, Jill," she says with a sneer. "Don't you `oh, hello, Jill' me, Esther. I'm here to save your butt so you'd better just open up and let me through." "Jill, I don't know what you're talking about but I--" Jill pushes past her to find Katherine sipping tea in the next room. "And a very fine day to you, too, Jill," Katherine says to Jill as she enters without any social amenities. "Katherine, do you know what your stock is selling for?" "No, should I? I own controlling stock Jill--I don't spend my money buying more. What difference does it make what it's selling for?" "What difference? I'll tell you what difference--because very soon it's going to be selling for nothing--zero--nada--zip--do you understand? A big goose egg, like your housekeeper over there's IQ."

"Well, that's very nice of you to worry about," Katherine tells Jill, "but I have people I pay to worry about such things." "Has it occurred to you that they might not be doing you the service that they're supposed to? That perhaps you're about to be out on the street? Not that that would exactly ruin my day, but there is the small matter of my grandson, whose inheritance you're squandering as you slowly undo everything your late husband worked to build for you." "And if all this is so, just what exactly do you propose to do about it?" "Well, not that it's exactly my first choice of how to be spending my days these days, but I propose to come and work for you." "Again?" "No not again. Not like that. I mean work for Chancellor Industries as your top advisor--getting things back on track--in return for my own stake in the company, of course." "Oh, of course. I knew that was coming." "Look, you old windbag, I just told you that was a stake in nothing unless something changes drastically, so don't you go assuming this is all about me and greed. I'm doing this for Phillip--and, hopefully, for Billy. Whatever I earn, I'm going to pass straight through to him." "Ah, for your own tax purposes. Very clever, Jill. Always thinking of others."

"I'm telling ya, Dad. I can't take it any more. I'm gonna ask Sharon for a divorce." "Nicholas," Victor said, "I had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but since you sound so serious, I'm afraid there's only one thing left to do." "Huh? What are you talking about?" Nick asks. "Well, I'm afraid you're turning into a younger version of myself. Well, ok, perhaps not in the business world, but we'll keep working on that. But you seem to be throwing your marryage too quickly to the wind, and I think later it's gonna come back to haunt you if I let you continue this way." "But Dad, you did that--lots of times." "I did it, but it never worked out well--you've seen the mess I've made of things. And now I've got one ex-wife who's been arrested for shooting another. It's just not worth it. I'm telling you this--you need to learn stability. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm giving Sharon complete control of all money that was going to you. As long as you keep her happy, you'll have access to it, too. But if you leave her, you'll be on your own, do you understand?" "But I'll still have my job?" "As long as Sharon says it's ok," Victor says. "Dad, this is blackmail. Do you know how much work it's going to be working things out with Sharon?" Victor stares him straight in the eye. "Do you realize how much work it ends up being when you don't end up working things out with your wife? Now get home to Sharon and whatever the problems--work them out. Because if you don't--you're on your own."

"Mrs. C?" Esther asks. "Yes, Esther, what is it?" "Is it true that you might soon be as poor as I am?" "Uh, no, Esther. I shall never be as poor as you are. However, I might find myself in need of a smaller staff." "But Mrs. C... You only have me. And I don't think I'm up to losing weight. I think you should listen to what Jill has to say just this once. It does make a lot of sense." "All right, Esther. You've made your point. That will be all." "No, Mrs. C, it won't. We're talking about my livelihood here--and yours, too. If you don't do what Jill suggests, you won't have the money you need to employ me and I won't have to listen to you order me around any more. And I know you'd miss that as much as I would. So you listen to me--for little Kate's sake, for little Phillip's sake, and for your own sake, even if you don't value me or Jill at all--you do what Jill suggests." Jill stares at Esther, amazed. "Thank you, Esther. I never thought you had it in you. I apologize for the remark about the goose egg," Jill says. "That's ok, Jill. It's been a long time since anyone called me brainy--I kind of liked it," Esther says with a blush. Katherine waves her hands about like a magician incanting a rushed spell. "Oh,-for-heaven's-sake-all-right," she says as if it were one one word. "You win, Jill. You may have the job. You are now the newest employee of Chancellor Industries. So call your press conferences and do what you need with my company--just make sure you get everything back in order or you'll be wishing you'd taken the job polishing my nails instead!"

Nick arrives home to find Sharon and Miguel trying to cope with a fight between Cassie and Sassie. He stands on the porch and waits until Sharon slips outside to talk to him. "I spoke with my Dad," he tells Sharon. "And?" she asks. "And he says he is NOT going to let you ruin this marriage the way you've been doing. So we'd better get things under control now or one of us is going to be out on the street..."

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 91!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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