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Episode 100, originally published 17-Jun-98

Grin and Bare It

Victor is home in bed with Nikki. It's the middle of the night. The phone rings and Victor answers. "This had better be important," Victor says with no additional lead-in. "Victor, it's Mitchell," Mitchell Sherman says from a cell phone in a car somewhere. "The foreign markets are collapsing in some areas that affect Newman Enterprises' overseas holdings. I need to see you right away." "This can't wait until the morning?" Victor asks. Mitchell says, "By morning, there may BE no Newman Enterprises. We have to act now." "Ok, meet me at my office in a half hour, ahright?" Victor says and hangs up without waiting for a reply. There's a quick cut to Mitchell who's shaking his head and saying, "Victor, I always knew you'd pay a real price for living so far out of town. That half hour may cost you." At that, he pulls up in front of Newman Enterprises, parks his car in what is conspicuously a "No Parking/You Will Be Towed" location, and runs into the building.

Having just hung up the phone, Victor sits up in bed. Nikki looks up at him sleepily and says, "Victor? What is it?" He pats her head and says, "Nothing for you to be concerned about my darling, just a little matter I need to attend to." Nikki squirms a little and does her coquette routine while slithering in the bed and says, "Aww, can't it wait until morning? I can make it worth your while..." But Victor is already half-dressed and not paying any attention to her. "Sleep well, my darling," he says to her as he rushes out the door.

It's later that morning at the Chancellor Estate. "Katherine!" Jill calls up the stairs. Malcolm appears at the top of the stairs. "Yo, Jill. Will you quiet down--you're gonna wake up the whole house." "Well, in case you hadn't noticed, Malcolm, it's almost noon outside. It's time that old bag was out of bed. I mean, God only knows she needs her beauty sleep, but after a point it takes a little more than just sleep, if you know what I mean." "No, Jill, I don't know what you mean. What I know is that Katherine--well, she had a long, hard night and she's got every right to be sleeping in a little, if you know what *I* mean. Me, I'm only up to get a drink of water." Jill shakes her head. "Malcolm, you disgust me. How could you spend the whole night with Katherine like that?" "Who me? Are you kidding? Do you know how boring my wife is compared to Kay? Kay could beat Olivia with one hand tied behind her back..." "Oh, spare me the graphic imagery, Malcolm. That's really disgusting." "No one's forcing you to stay here," Malcolm notes. Jill sighs. "You know, Malcolm. You're right. I really don't know what ever possessed me to move in here, but I really should get out before I puke. Tell your love slave I'll send someone around later to pick up my things." "Hey, that's cool by me, Jill. Have a good one," Malcolm says with a shrug.

Nick is with Grace at Newman Enterprises. Grace is stapling folders while Nick rambles at her. "Grace, I'm really happy about your engagement," he begins, "but i'm a little jealous, too. I mean, you and me, we just click so well. Whereas with Sharon it's such a day-to-day hassle. I mean, first she brings home this kid." "Cassie. Her name is Cassie," Grace corrects him. "Right, and, she expects me to be an instant father. You know, just add water and I'll love the girl just because she's cute, smart, and no trouble at all. But I just don't know if I can. And then I think of you--Grace, you NEVER bring me little kids that aren't mine and expect me to love them, and I really like that about you. It means I can trust you, and that's important. Like, take that time I accidentally slept with you. You were SO understanding of that. First, you just let me have my way with you and later, you and I talked and you agreed to say not to say anything about it. Do you think Sharon would have been so understanding? Would she have agreed never to have said anything about it again? I'm so glad I have someone I can confide in, Grace. A woman as understanding as you-- as far as I'm concerned, you're welcome in that little bed next to Noah's crib any time you want me. But do you think Sharon would welcome you? No way. That's the difference between her and you, Grace. She's all caught up in this thing about how we have to be a family--but you, you don't make me have to be part of all of that. To Sharon, all I'm ever doing is straying when I spend time at work or with you. But do YOU think I'm straying when I spend time with you? No way. Grace, I just have to say--you're just incredibly amazing. Sharon could learn a lot from you."

Paul stops in at the Police Station where he notices a door marked "Chief Detective Carl Williams". He knocks on the door and a voice tells him to enter. "Hi, Dad!" Paul says. "Hello, son," Carl replies, "long time no see." "So this is where you've been holing up," Paul says. "I should have thought to look here. When you disappeared, I searched all over for you but never thought to check at work." "Yes, I know," Carl replies. "I almost had your PI license revoked for that..." "Well, I'm glad you didn't, Dad, or I might not have come by today and found you. By the way, what have you been doing all these years? Why did you leave us? Did you get amnesia?" "No, don't be ridiculous. It wasn't me, it was your mother." "Mom? Really? You didn't move out?" Paul asks. "Well I did move out. But I did so because your mother forgot about me." "Forgot about you?" "Well, not just me--the whole family. I think she had what they call "selective amnesia", if you can believe that. Haven't you noticed how she pesters you to this day about grandkids? Do you know she has six grandkids by your other siblings?" Paul nods. "Yeah, I know about that. You're right--Mom does seem strangely oblivious to the fact that I even have sibs. Once recently she mentioned Patty, but she never mentions Steve or Todd any more."

At Jabot, Jill arrives and immediately bolts for Jack's office and slams the door. "Jack, am I ever glad to see you," she says, struggling to catch her breath. "And a good morning to you, too, Jill. What's on your mind?" "Jack, I need a favor." Jack regards her suspiciously. "Something in your tone of voice makes me a little nervous about this request," he says. "What kind of favor?" "A place to stay," Jill says. "You want me to rent you a hotel room?" Jack asks. "No, nothing nearly that mercenary," Jill says. "I just figured that, well, we used to be good friends. And I need a place to stay. And..." "And so you wondered if you could come and pitch your tent in my back yard?" Jack asks. "Actually," Jill says, "I was kind of hoping we might share yours." "Well, Jill, I don't have a tent, so I'm--" Jill snaps. "Oh, Jack Abbott, you know full well what I'm asking of you and you're just trying to make it hard for me." Jack laughs and says, "Sugar, if I want to make it hard I don't have to try. And I admit this little May-December liaison you've cooked up does sound intriguing--" Jill glares at him. "December? Do you want to know December? I've been living with December for weeks now and do you know what's she's doing? She's got Malcolm Winters staying with her!" "Well, good for her," Jack says. "Ok, maybe not December. How about October." Jill moves closer to him. "Jack, when you see the steam, I think you'll be thinking July..." Jack shakes his head with a laugh. "Anyway, Jill, it wouldn't work. What would my dad think?" "Your dad's away with Billy. He wouldn't have to know. Come on, Jack, it's just for a little while." "I'll think about it," Jack says. "So how are things with Diane?" Jill asks proddingly. "Alright, alright," Jack says. "You can come ... visit." Jill smiles. "Thank you, Jack. You made the right choice."

Paul and Carl are still having their heart-to-heart chat, getting caught up after all these years. "So you just left?" Paul asks. "Well, wouldn't you if you had to live the rest of your life with Mary? Why stay with a woman that boring when you have the opportunity for a change. Anyway, enough about me--what have you been up to?" "Well, funny you should mention that. I just got back together with my wife Christine after she almost left me for Danny." "For Danny Romalotti? Son, that's not a sign of intelligence. If I were you, I'd have let such a woman go like a hot potato. Go after someone new." "But Dad, I thought you always taught me there was virtue in stability." "Virtue, yes. But if the woman's in doubt about you, don't be stupid. Move on. Find someone new." "Well, there's nothing wrong with Christine's memory." "Son, I didn't leave your mother because of her memory loss--that just provided a convenient excuse. The fact is, the sex wasn't very good. It's just nice to have something to blame it on." Paul thinks for a while and then says, "Uh, Dad, it's been great talking to you, but I've got a phone call I have to make. Thanks for your time." "Ok, son, but now that you've found me, please don't be a stranger." Paul nods and steps back into the hall, going straight to a nearby payphone. A moment after dialing, we hear him say "Lynne? I've made a sudden change in plans. One I think you're going to like..."

It's evening and Victor meets the family at a McDonald's. "Dad, this food is really bad for you," Victoria complains as they sit at a table. "Are you really sure this is the best place to have chosen for a family meeting?" "Well, now, I think it might be," Victor explains. "You see," he says, looking around to make sure that the entire family is present, "we've had certain financial difficulties with Newman Enterprises and I have decided to sell it." "Sell it? But it's the family business. It's our inheritance!" Victoria says, keenly aware of what's going on. "Does this mean we have to eat here every night, Dad?" Nick asks, trying to dissect the matter into a form he himself can understand. Victor goes for Nick's question. "No, it does not mean we have to eat here every night. In fact, Genoa City has a great many fast food restaurants. Some of them even have salad bars, I understand." Nikki finally chimes in, saying, "But Victor, they're so far away from the Ranch." "Ah, yes," he says to her, patting her hand paternalistically. "The ranch. I'm afraid I have had to sell that to cover some debts also. So we will be taking up residence here in the city. That's why we're meeting here, in fact. I saw a to-rent sign for the apartment above where we sit. Now won't that be convenient? And I understand there's a guy named Miguel who works here at this very restaurant." "We won't have OUR Miguel?" Nick asks, confused. "No, m'boy. It's time we learned to stand on our own feet. It's rather a challenge, don't you think--like when I was a boy and had ahead of me the building of an entire empire. I did it once. Now it will be up to you to do the same." "Well," says Nikki with a sly smile, "at least it means Diane won't be going after your money any more." Victor blushes. "Yes, well, uh, ... the truth is, Michael Baldwin has convinced me that I'm still married to her and not to you, my darling Nikki." "My God, isn't there anything you can do?" Nikki asks in horror. Victor shakes his head. "I'm afraid I cannot afford a lawyer, but also, Diane has the title to my old apartment so I've changed my mind again, and I'm going to go and live with her as man and wife. That way, there'll be more room for the rest of you in the apartment upstairs here, ok?"

Nick arrives home to find Sharon and Cassie. "I have some bad news," he says. "What is it, Nick?" Sharon says anxiously. "Are you sick?" Cassie asks. He sits on the couch and the two crowd around. "I'm afraid it's about money," he says. They are silent. "Dad's company fell apart. We're broke." "Broke?" Sharon asks. "I have some glue in my room," Cassie offers. "If something in his company is broke, we could try to fix it." Nick smiles at her but shakes his head. "It's a little different than that, Cassie," he explains. "We don't have any money." "I have money in my piggy bank," the girl says. "We could live on my money for a while until you have a job again." He almost laughs, Sharon strokes her hair. "Thanks, sweetie," Nick says. "But this is something little girls can't help with. This is a big people problem. But we do have to pack--we won't be able to stay here on the ranch. It's apparently been sold."

Olivia is in her office when a nurse enters and says, "Ah, good, you're here. A Miss Victoria Newman called earlier. She wanted to discuss her `options'." The nurse hands Olivia the note and ducks out the door, leaving Olivia perplexed. "Options? Oh, the poor girl. Her father's company has collapsed. She's probably really stressed about the future at this point." She picks up the phone and starts to dial.

It's the next morning at the Abbott household. Jack is dressed and heading down the stairs when he hears the front door. It's John Abbott. "Dad!" Jack says, surprised. "I thought you and Billy would be away for a while." John says, "Well, I left him at a boarding school in Europe and came back here. I missed the old house." Just then, Jill comes to the top of the stairs. In spite of clever camera angles, we can tell she's nude. "Jack," she calls, unaware of John's presence, "please don't go off to work so early, I--John!" Jack looks to her and says, "Aren't you going to put something on?" But Jill just stands there and says, "Relax, it's all in the family--and certainly nothing John hasn't seen before." John looks to Jill and then to Jack. Jack shrugs sheepishly. "Sorry, Dad," he says finally. "But you two ARE divorced, and ..." There is an awkward silence as the scene fades.

Nick arrives at McDonald's, where he has an appointment for a job interview. "Hi," he says, putting out his hand to the manager. "My dad called earlier about a job here?" "Got any experience in the burger industry?" "Well, I've eaten my fair share of Whoppers, if that's what you mean." "Of what?" the man asks. "Whoppers? You know, ``Have it your way,'' and all that?" The man shakes his head in disbelief. "We don't do that here," he says stiffly. Then he adds, "I'll start you on fries." Nick shrugs. "I get it. Start me out in the trenches with the other guys so I'll understand the operation." "Uh, no. More like `the fry guy is gone, so you'll be taking over'." "Ok," says Nick. "So if you'll just show me my office I'll get started reading up on the operation." "No office," the man says firmly. "No reading." "No reading? How do you guys write reports without reading?" "No writing either. Fries. You cook them, you put them in little bags, you give them to the customer." "But what if I have an idea about how to change the company?" "Look, you get a five minute break every morning and every afternoon. That time is your own and you can have all the ideas you want during that time. The only report I want to hear otherwise is customers saying how efficient and friendly you were in serving up the fries, do you understand?" "Oh, absolutely," Nick says. "Efficient and friendly is my middle name."

"Ok," says the manager, "then let's see you do some work here." Nick goes to his station and someone says, "Get me a small fries." Nick sees some already bagged and hands one to him. "See," he says to the manager. "Nothing to it." The manager watches as someone orders a large fries. There are no more bagged fries. There are none cooked and ready to be bagged either. Nick looks at the situation for a moment and finally calls out, "Miguel! We're out of fries." The manager comes up and says, "Miguel's not here. It's his day off. And what do you want with him anyway. This is your job." Nick gives the man a blank stare. "No Miguel? Then what do you do when you run out of fries?" "I don't know," says the manager, "you're the fry guy." Nick nods. "Right. And there weren't any more, so I called Miguel to make us some."

Victoria is in her now ex-office at Newman Enterprises, packing things into boxes. A woman enters and says, "Victoria Newman?" "That's me," she says. "Hi, I'm Constance McMillan. Dr. Olivia Winters called me--she said you'd called her and wanted to talk about your `options'. She thought maybe I could be of more help." Victoria looks confused and asks, "I'm not sure I understand?" "Well, it's just that this is my specialty area and she figured it would be better for me to get together with you in person before you do something drastic." "Ok..." Victoria responds tentatively. The woman pulls out an easel and sets up some charts. The charts show various curves with month labels at the bottom. She finds one she likes and points to it. "Ah, here we go," she says. "I think this best shows YOUR situation--you're really heading for disaster, and I do recommend you completely abort at this point." Victoria's face is becoming very contorted. "COMPLETELY abort? This is a very personal matter for me--I'm not sure I can stomach any discussion of fractions in this decision." The woman nods. "I don't mean to be insensitive to the family side of things," she says, "but money really is the central thing. And I must say, I really think it important that you see that really you have no choice but to not exercise your options at this point." "No choice? What's the point of having options if you can't exercise them?" Victoria asks. "Well, we sell you options at a cheap price, called the option price. The whole idea is that if a company becomes insolvent, as your family company has here, then you really shouldn't invest the money to turn them into real shares." A look of understanding comes over Victoria's face. "You're talking about STOCK options?" "Of course," the woman says. Victoria scowls. "I'm going to HAVE to have a talk with Olivia about this. Meanwhile, could you get out of here? I've learned all I need to know." "Of course," she replies. "If you need anything more, here's my card." She hands it to Victoria, who discards it immediately in the trash as the woman exits.

Nick arrives back at the ranch to find Cassie sitting on the sofa being served lemonade by Miguel. "Where's Sharon?" Nick asks. "And what's Miguel doing here? Doesn't he know what's happening?" "Oh, he knows," Cassie explains. "That's why he's here--" She is interrupted by a knock at the door, which Miguel answers. It's Cole. "Hey, Miguel," Cole says. "Hello, Sr. Howard. Won't you come in?" Miguel asks. He escorts them into the living room, where Nick looks up and asks, "Miguel? I thought Mom and Dad didn't have any money and had to let you go." "They did," Miguel explains, "but young Cassie has hired me." "Cassie?" Nick says with alarm. "I didn't tell her she could--" "No, you didn't," Cassie says. "But I felt he could be of use. And I didn't want to see him not working," Cassie explains. "So I hired him with my book money." "Your what?" Nick asks. "Ah," says Cole, "I think I understand. My editor recently informed me that Cassie just published her first book. They must have sent her a royalty check." "Must have been some check," Nick says. "I tried to tell you," Cassie says. "Would you like to see my book, Mr. Howard?" Cassie asks. "In fact," Cole says, "that's just why I came by." "Wow!" Cassie says. "You came just to see me?" He nods and says, "You bet. So don't keep me in suspense, where is it?" Cassie hands him a small book. It is 3 inches by 2 inches, neatly bound, and contains 7 pages. "This is it?" Cole says, slightly disappointed. "The reviewers said it was a refreshingly thoughtful treatment of a difficult subject," Cassie explains. "Wow," says Nick, impressed. "I wonder what they meant by that." "I think," says Cassie, "that they were mostly just glad that I didn't use the phrase ``I'm telling ya'' or the word ``incredible'' anywhere in the whole book." "That's not good?" Cole says. "Nooo," says Cassie. "They said they have one writer who's a real dork who does that all the time and they're sick of it. But they wouldn't tell me who." Cole is lost in book and is only vaguely paying attention. Finally he looks up and says, "I'm telling ya, Cassie, this is really incredible..."

Cassie's Book

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 101!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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