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Date: 29 Mar 1998 00:17:03 -0500
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#91: "Lost in Thought"
Message-ID: <sfwpvj6dqk0.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE... * Nick doesn't think twice before saying `yes'.
* Tony doesn't think twice about saying `yes'.
* Ryan thinks again after saying `yes'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 91, 29-Mar-98 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Lost in Thought"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh, Ryan," Trisha says, examining the divorce certificate. "Now we can move
in with each other." "Not so fast, Trisha. I love you, but I don't want to
do this without your father's approval." "Oh, Ryan. Really? That's so
sweet. Oh, Ryan, I love you for that."
Keith answers the door at his home. Ryan is there. "Ryan?" Keith asks,
unsure of why he's there. "My daughter isn't home right now." "Yes, I know.
I came to see you, sir." "I'd been wondering if you'd have the guts to do
that," Keith says. "Still determined to do me in at every turn, Mr.
Dennison?" Ryan asks. Keith goes to his desk and starts pawing around among
some checks. Ryan stands firm. "I can't be bought off, sir," he says.
Keith laughs. "We'll see." He finds an envelope marked Ryan McNeil.
He writes on it, "Do not open until tomorrow morning."
Back at the hospital, after a brief view of an unconscious Nikki, the camera
cuts away to Victor, Nick, and Victoria in the chapel. "Lord," Victor says,
"I know we haven't spoken directly recently, but my associates have checked in
on you from time to time and they assured me you have a surplus of miracles
ready to roll on a moment's notice. So this is it, Lord--I'm giving the word.
Please save Nikki, ahright? Because if you don't, I will personally make sure
you--" He stops, noticing that Victoria is shaking her head at him. "Don't
threaten him, Dad. It's poor form." "Well, you know, I just have to let him
know we mean business," Victor explains. "Dad, I'm sure he'll figure it out,"
Victoria says. "After all, he is omniscient," she adds. "And omnipotent,"
Nick adds. Victor raises his eyebrows at Nick. "Are you suggesting your
father is impotent, or what?" Victoria intervenes. "Trust me, Dad.
Omnipotence is not a measure of sexual prowess. And everybody knows you've
had quite a few more women than God has, so..." Victor thinks about it and
seems appeased. "Very well," he says, turning again to God, "don't worry
about what I'll do if you don't save Nikki, because I'll just trust that you
will, ahright?" Then, confusing this form of communication with a telephone,
he just stops without saying "amen". "All right," Victor says to his kids,
"let's go see if your Mommy's awake and ready to check out with us, ok?"
In a nearby room, there is a brief sound of churchy music as if a miracle
might be coming in response to Victor's sincere plea, and Nikki's eyes open
and her vital signs return to normal. A nurse sees the improvement and starts
to excitedly rush out of the room yelling "Doctor!" but before she can reach
the door, a booming voice yells "STOP!" and the action comes to a halt. The
director comes rushing in. "Who yelled cut? Was that you, Bill?" Bill Bell
comes in, too. "It wasn't me." The voice booms, "It was me, God." The stage
manager checks his clipboard. "Your business is done for the day, God.
Nikki's recovered. Take a hike." "A hike?" "Yeah, you're only a recurring.
You have no regular part here." There is thunder and lightning. Bell moves
to center stage and says, "Look, God, I don't know what's got you so upset.
We're showing a miracle--it should be great for your business." The voice
booms back, "It's too easy." "Too easy?" Bell says incredulously. "We worked
for hours coming up with this script." "No, it suggests I have some sort of
quickserve window, like some of your fast food sponsors. Christianity does
not offer a 5 minute service guarantee." Bell looks pensive for a moment.
"I see. Well, look, we'll try to take that into account the next time we use
you, but..." Another flash of lightning, and a copy of Soap Opera Digest
falls at Bell's feet. "Page 86," the voice booms. Bell flips to page 86.
"It's the Neilsens. We're the number one show. What's your point?" More
thunder and lightning. Bell watches the page and sees the numbers on it
start to decline. "Hey, that's a neat trick," he says. "I bet you can't
make them go the other way," he taunts. Still more thunder and lightning and
the numbers start to fall faster. Y&R is now in second place. "Ok, ok. Put
it back," he says, finally relenting. "We'll do the scene another way!" He
nods to a special effects person who causes Nikki's vital signs to drop.
Melody Thomas Scott, who had been sitting up in bed sipping on a saline
solution to replenish her tear ducts, suddenly slumps back unconscious on the
bed. All clear the stage, except the nurse who looks back at Nikki and says,
"That's funny, I could have sworn she was getting better." The nurse shrugs
and exits quietly.
Victor, Nikki, and Nick enter Nikki's hospital room. "All set, Mom?" Nick
asks. "We said our prayer." "Yeah, DAD said it even," Victoria adds. "And
Nikki," Victor says, "I just want you to know that I--" he stops and looks at
her. She is not awake. "Hello? Nikki?" he asks. "She seems to be
unconscious," Nick says. Just then, Jill enters and says, "Well, thank you
Dr. Newman for that brilliant diagnosis," Jill says. "Jill? What are you
doing here?" Victoria asks. "Well, with reports like that one your brother
wrote recently, we're not getting any work done over at Jabot," Jill says.
"So I decided to take a little time off and see how Nikki was doing. But with
Nick busy advising the doctors here, I can see it's going to be a while."
Nick gives her an angry look and then rushes out, muttering "I don't have to
stand around and take this..."
In the hallway, Nick realizes he doesn't know where he's going, so he
eventually stops and sits. A few moments later, David Kimble appears out of
nowhere in a puff of red smoke and sits down beside him. Nick looks up and
stares for a few minutes at his forehead. Kimble notices and patiently waits
for Nick to say something stupid about it. Finally Nick notices David is
watching him and says nervously, "Hey, that's a real `killer' haircut you got
there..." Kimble laughs and says, "Nick, you're my kind of guy." "You know
my name?" Nick says. "Uh, of course, everyone knows YOUR name," Kimble says,
covering. "Oh, right," Nick says with a modest blush. "So are you waiting on
someone here?" Nick asks. "You might say that," Kimble says. "Sure takes a
long time, doesn't it?" Nick asks. "Oh, yeah, the wait can be hellish,"
Kimble says. "I just wish there were something I could do to hurry up my
Mom's recovery," Nick says. "Perhaps there is," David says, nudging Nick
toward the inevitable. "No, I don't think so," Nick says. "We tried prayer
and that didn't work." "Tsk, tsk. That God. I keep telling him he should
upgrade the tracking equipment at his fulfillment center, but he keeps saying
good things are worth waiting for." Nick sighs and says, "Well, maybe. But
what if Mom dies while we're waiting?" "Precisely my point, boy," David says.
"So you know God personally?" Nick asks. "You might say that," David says.
"Let's say we're long-time acquaintances; these days we're business rivals."
"Business rivals? Like you offer the same services and stuff?" David nods.
"Well, could you save my mother?" David smiles. "For a price..." "Anything,
I'll pay. Can I get immediate delivery?" David nods. "Well, where do I
sign?" Nick asks.
Nick rushes back into the hospital room, asking "How is she?" "I'm fine,
honey," Nikki says. "When did this happen?" he says. "Just a moment before
you came in. Why?" Victoria asks. "Just wanted to make sure I didn't get
cheated," Nick says. "CUT!" Bill Bell yells. "What is all this instant
gratification stuff?" he asks as he walks onto the stage. "I thought we
agreed--" "That agreement was with the man upstairs," David Kimble says,
entering again in a puff of red smoke. "This recovery was arranged through
me." "David Kimble?" Bell says. "But we shredded your contract years ago."
"Well, I'm sorry about that, but Nick just traded me his," Kimble explains.
"I did?" Nick says. Bell turns to Nick. "Nick? Did you do this?" Nick
shrugs. "He told me I was signing away my soul contract." "Did not," says
David. "Yes, you did!" says Nick. "I said you were signing away your sole
contract. S-O-L-E, Nick." "Well, I was never very good at spelling. And it
would have been out of character for me to read the fine print, sir. I'm not
very bright you know. That's the way you created my character." Bell sighs.
"No," he says, "I refuse to have this be another year like last year with
Heather and Michelle taking off in the middle of a plot. Look, Nick, I'm
going to write you another contract--and David, ok, we'll work you in somehow.
Evil twin or something. Now everyone, back to places. We've got a show to
do." Bell takes David off to the side and points at a page of Soap Opera
Digest. "By the way," he asks, "I've been praying for these numbers to come
up a bit but salvation doesn't seem to be forthcoming. I don't suppose you
could..." The lights fade out as they presumably go on to discuss Nielsens.
Ryan returns home to find his lovely catch setting up house. "What's going on
here?" he asks. "Oh, I just knew Daddy would say 'yes' so I figured I'd go
ahead and move in," she explains. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door.
Ryan opens it and in rolls a huge spread of food. "Wow, what's all this?"
asks Ryan. "Well, it's my first night living with you and I wasn't sure if
you were all set up to be taking me out for dinner. So I took care of it."
"But it looks awfully expensive," Ryan says. "It's ok. I put it on my credit
card!" Trisha says. "Oh Ryan, you are just such a wonderful man. Nothing is
too good for you." He smiles happily as she veritably jumps him. "Well, uh,
let's eat, shall we?" he says.
Much later, after the doctor has cleared all the patients out, he comes over
to Nikki and pats her on the forehead, saying, 'You can rest now, Nikki. Your
family is gone for the day." She opens her eyes and sits up. "Thank you,
Doctor." "How long do you plan to keep it up?" the doctor asks. "Oh, I
dunno. Another day or two. I mean, it's not like it's something I had
planned. The ironic thing is that I was wearing the bullet proof vest and the
stage blood in case Victor's wife Diane shot me--it was just an accident that
Sarah shot me first. But since she did, I'm going to milk this for all it's
worth. I'll make Victor realize who he's really in love with--he'll see."
"As you like, Mrs. Landers. Anyway, as I said, you'd better rest. I'll wake
you a little before visiting hours tomorrow so you can get back in gear."
"Thank you doctor," she says with a wink, and she closes her eyes in eager
anticipation of the sleep to follow.
The next morning, Ryan is awakened by Trisha moving around. "What's up? Did I
oversleep?" he asks. "No, Ryan. It's ok. Just keep sleeping. I just like
to get up really early so I can get to the mall early--in case there are any
sales, you know?" "Oh, ok. Saving us money already. Good plan," he says,
half asleep, and falls back into unconsciousness.
Sharon arrives at Doris's, bright and early as well. Miguel answers the door.
"Hello, Miguel," Sharon says. "It's a surprise to see you here," she says,
"especially after that little fling I heard about between you and Sarah."
Miguel blushes slightly. "That was my fault, actually," Doris says, wheeling
up to the door. "You remember my friend Kurt Costner? He was visiting for
the weekend, and I'm afraid things got a little out of control--you know."
Sharon shakes her head. "Mother, you are such a woman about town, I tell
you." "The important thing," says Miguel, "is that your mother and I have
patched things up." Sharon nods. Suddenly they notice they're all still
standing in the doorway. "Well, come in, come in," says Doris. "Yes, please
do," says Miguel. "A moment away from my duties at the ranch and here I am
forgetting all my manners."
Later, as Ryan awakens, he reaches out to his bedside table and opens the
envelope Keith gave him. Inside is a bundle of smaller envelopes with a
rubber band around them. A handwritten note is attached. "Ryan, The man who
inherits my daughters charms inherits my daughter's debts. I hope you'll do
the right thing. Keith."
"Miguel was just telling me about the shootings out at the ranch," Doris
explains to Sharon. "Shootings?" Sharon asks. "You haven't heard about it?
It happened just the other night, when Miguel was staying overnight with me.
I'd have thought your husband would have told you by now," Doris says. "Well,
that's what I came to talk to you about, Mom. My husband and I haven't been
communicating very well lately. And now Cassie's finally aware that I'm her
mother. So I was wondering if maybe she could stay here for a few days--just
until I'm able to explain it better to Nicholas." "Well, you know, honey, I'd
normally love to do it. But now--with these shootings out at the ranch--I
told Miguel he could stay here." "Oh, right, you said something about that.
Who got shot?" Sharon asks, barely paying attention. Miguel responds. "Well,
Sen~or Landers was fatally shot, but Sra. Landers is only in intensive care."
"That's terrible," Sharon mutters. "Will they be ok?" "It's looking bad for
Sr. Landers," Miguel says. "But his wife still has a chance." "Well, give
them both my best when you see them, Miguel. So, Mom, you're saying I can't
leave little Cassie here with you?" "Well, child, I just don't think it'd be
such a good idea, having me and Miguel shacking up with an impressionable
young girl around." "Yeah, I guess you're right," Sharon says. "Ok, Mom.
Well, I better be going. I have to find someone who can do this."
Later that same day, Trisha arrives home with several shopping bags full of
clothes. Ryan's not smiling. "What's the matter, honey?" she says. "It's
your father," Ryan explains. "He's promised to make trouble for me if you
move in here. And while I'm sure there's no obstacle he could put in my path
that together we couldn't get past, I still think it's better to wait until we
have his blessing..." "Oh, Ryan, I love you soooo much," Trisha says, as she
starts re-packing her stuff to move back home.
At Grace and Tony's, Sharon knocks on the door. Tony answers. "Tony, good,"
Sharon says, pushing her way in. "Is Grace around?" "No, she's at work, if
you can imagine that." "Will wonders never cease," Sharon says, shaking her
head. "Look, Tony, I need a BIG favor." "After what we've put you through
these last few months? It's yours. What do you need, Shar'?" "I need a
place to put Cassie up--until I can tell Nicholas." "Sharon, let me get this
straight. You want us to house Cassie, until you can tell Nicholas?" "I
know, it sounds weird, but Nicholas and I don't see eye to eye on this and I
just can't tell him." "I dunno, Sharon. How is this different than how
things were before?" "Because Cassie will know she's not getting to stay with
her REAL MOM. And she'll learn to yearn for me. `Absence makes the heart
grow fonder,' isn't that what they say?" Tony looks unconvinced. "I don't
think they say it in this particular situation," he says. "Look, are you
going to do this for me or am I going to have to find someone else?" "No, no,
We'll do it. Where is she now?" "Home. I left her there with Miguel--oops."
"Oops?" "Well, I thought Miguel would be there with her, but I just realized
something. Look, I gotta go--ok, Tony? Bye!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1998 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!