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Date: 29 Jun 1997 17:29:43 -0400
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#50: "A Breed Apart"
Message-ID: <sfwradlhzco.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE... * Will a new breed of neighbors dash Kurt's hope
for a poor folks' clinic?
* Will generational differences breed only contempt
between Megan and Jill?
* Will the unholy union of Michael and Phyllis
lead to a new breed of villain?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 50, 29-Jun-97 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"A Breed Apart"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phyllis is in the Diner smoking a cigarette and eating a large ice cream
float. "This seat taken," Michael Baldwin asks. She looks up and sees the
familiar face. "I was hoping you'd drop by," she says, cheering ever so
slightly. "Looks like you need a friend," Michael says. "It does?" she asks.
"Yes, you're eating your ice cream with a knife--most people prefer a spoon.
Was it still kicking when they brought it to the table?" "Just some wishful
voodoo," she says. "Someone causing you problems?" "SomeONE? Ha. Some
bug...." Phyllis exclaims. Michael looks intrigued. "Bug? What kind of bug?"
"Just an annoying little cricket." "Ah," says Michael. "The everpresent
Cricket. That's what I like about these birds I draw, you know. They eat
bugs--crickets especially."
Archie, the young gang kid enters St. Kurt's dressed in an expensive business
suit and puffing on a cigar. "Can I help you," Hope asks, oblivious to the
change in Archie's mode of attire. "Yo, it's me!" "Oh, hello, Archie," Hope
says. "Injured again already?" "No way! I was just cruising through on my
way out of town--wanted to say good-bye." "You're going on a trip?" Hope asks
uncertainly. "Hell no! I'm relocating myself to a place more befitting my
recent stroke of good fortune--is the doc around?" "No, he's stepped out,"
Hope says. "Well, you tell him I wish him well." Archie starts to put a $100
bill into Hope's purse. Finally better prepared, she reaches for her mace,
but he stops her. "Hey, Helen Keller, take a note. I ain't robbin' you this
time, I'm leavin' you a little goin' away present, ok? So chill and be
still." He heads out, leaving Hope fumbling around feeling the bill, trying
to work out what denomination it might be.
"It's not really a bug that's causing you this trouble, is it?" Michael asks
Phyllis. "Well, she bugs me, but she's not literally a bug. Just in every
other way. Her name is Christine Williams." Michael gets a big grin, "Ah,
the fair Christine." "You know her? I'm sorry--I don't mean to be
impolite--but I just can't deal with another of Christine's friends." She
starts to get up. Michael laughs. "Oh, we're not exactly ... no, I think I
can say definitively, we're not friends. She got me sent to prison--I just
got back out, actually." "Oh, really?" Phyllis says, warming. "Then we were
almost neighbors--she seems to have that way with people. I assume whatever
the little snitch got you on was blown completely out of proportion." Michael
nods. "Completely."
Kurt enters and says "Hi, Hope, I'm back" as he continues to walk directly
toward his office. "Look Kurt, Archie brought us a $100 donation." Kurt
doesn't turn around but just yells back "Another of his little scams? I hope
you didn't take his word for the denomination." "Oh, he didn't tell me, I
figured it out on my own." "You did?" "Kurt, you're always assuming we blind
women are so helpless. I held it near my portable transistor radio. The
metallic threads in those new $50 and $100 bills have a minute effect on the
quality of reception, and as a blind person my hearing is especially keen so
that's easy for me to spot." "Yeah, but how'd you know it was a $100 and not
a $50?" "Oh, you silly--by the pattern of heat distribution, of course. The
$100 has a 50% wider darkened area in the corner because it's a three digit
number." "You're amazing, Hope," Kurt says. "I'm trying to be," Hope says
under her breath as he walks back to his office.
"So what's your big problem of the day?" "That I need to be pregnant."
"Urgent?" "Uh, yeah--like yesterday wouldn't be soon enough." "And how
exactly does this have anything to do with Christine Williams?" "Because the
little witch is the godmother to my first born, and she's determined to show
it's not my baby, so she can break up Danny and me." "Danny
Romalatti--Christine's ex-husband?" "That's the one. He's my husband now,
and I want to keep it that way." "But isn't Christine married now to Paul
Williams?" Michael asks. "Look, maybe we're not talking about the same
Christine Williams, but the one I'm thinking of would never let anything like
honor or wedding vows get in the way of what she wants. It's like she's
somebody's little princess and just has to always have things her way."
Michael smiles. "No, that's the Christine I know as well. So tell me, why
will being pregnant help?" "Because I told Danny I already am..." "In case
Christine spills the beans about the first baby?" Michael guesses. "You're
really quite perceptive, Mr. Birdman," Phyllis says. "Baldwin, actually.
Michael Baldwin. And if there's a Christine Blair Romalatti Williams involved
in your conflict, you know you always have an ally in me. In fact, I have
just the plan!"
Meg Dennison enters the study at her home to find Keith and Jill sitting on
the sofa making cooing noises at each other. She stops cold and gives a
disappointed shrug of the shoulders, grunting "oh" at pretty much the same
time. "Are we in the way, Meg?" Keith asks. "It's just that you're always in
here and I have a report I need to do for school so I need to use the
encyclopedia. Could you maybe sometimes hang out in another room?" Keith
says, "Well, we have desks in other rooms. Can't you just take the volumes
you need and work in another room?" "Dad! Will you get with the modern
world? It's bad enough you work for that company where all they use is 286
computers, but now you don't even know what an encyclopedia is?" She points
to the books on the wall. "THESE are NOT encyclopedias. THESE are historical
relics." Then she goes to a drawer and pulls out a CD-ROM. "THIS is an
encyclopedia."
"You want to what? Sleep with me?" Phyllis says suspiciously. "What exactly
were you in prison for, anyway?" "Sexual harassment," Michael says meekly.
"Of the bug?" Phyllis asks incredulously. "I know. Ludicrous, isn't it?
It's hard to imagine how any jury could have believed her view of it. Anyway,
here's the way I see it--you let me get you pregnant and Danny is yours
forever." "What's in it for you?" "Hey, I just got out of prison, remember?
I'll do this one `pro bono'." Phyllis giggles--"I'll just bet you will. But
what if someone questions the paternity of this baby?" "Well, first of all
they can't do that for a while. And second, when they finally do, we'll work
out a cover story to make it all seem plausible..." "I have two babies by two
different fathers and then someone does DNA tests to confirm that I've been
lying all along about the father. You think we can work out a cover story
that will make this all seem plausible?" Phyllis says. "You really should be
doing those inspirational audio tapes for religious groups--it's going to take
a miracle for that to work."
A man in formal business attire wearing a carnation enters St. Kurt's. "May I
help you?" Hope asks. "My, I do hope so," the man says. "I'm afraid I'm
suffering a bit from the old gout." "Gout?" she asks. "Rich man's disease,
you know." "Yes, I--" Hope starts to say, but Kurt walks out of his office.
"What can I help you with, sir?" "Dr. Costner, this man is suffering from
gout," Hope explains. "Gout?" "Yes, it's a rich--" Hope starts to say, but
she is cut off by Hope. "Yes, I'm aware of that--we just don't see a lot of
that around here these days. I'm more up on dressing bullet wounds at the
moment--could you perhaps stand out on the porch for a few minutes and come
back when you have a more familiar injury?" "Ha, ha. Bit of the old humor
there? I enjoy that in a doctor, yes. Well, I daresay you won't be getting
much more in the way of bullet wounds around here, now will you? No sirree,
I'm afraid I'd be brushing up on treatment for gout now if I were you. Much
more dignified, what?" There is a sudden racket that sounds like a huge
machine digging up the street and Kurt says, "Uh, could you hold on for one
minute while I go to see what that noise is about?" Without waiting for a
reply, Kurt races out.
Michael looks at Phyllis, a little disappointed that she doesn't think he can
conjure an appropriate story. "Well, I see that my reputation hasn't exactly
preceded me," he says. "Let's see now--Danny and Cricket were married quite
some time and had no kids, right?" "Right..." "And any sign of kids for
Cricket since being with Paul?" "We thought there was for a while, but
nothing came of it." Michael ponders this. "An abortion maybe?" he asks
himself. "But it means she's got everything in working shape--gives credence
to my hunch," he continues to think aloud. "What hunch?" "That Danny is
sterile." "Sterile?" she asks. "That's right. You told me you faked the
original DNA test, right? Well, tell him you first went to the DNA lab not to
fake anything--but to make sure that his DNA wasn't full of bad traits you
didn't want to pass along. But to your surprise and dismay, you found out
from the test that he was in fact sterile and would have no children... so you
tried to spare him the shock and sadness, by having other peoples' babies to
cover for it. You tell him of course it was different people each time, since
you didn't have any continuing love except for him." "But what if he checks?"
"Trust me--I know people. He'll be too proud and embarrassed to mention it to
anyone. He couldn't walk into a clinic somewhere and bring himself to explain
the problem. He'll take your word for it."
"But what if he doesn't?" Phyllis says worriedly. "It won't come up, but if it
does, you have still one other chip you can play, too, even if that falls
through." "What's that?" "That prior marriage of Danny's--to a Tracy Abbott,
I believe?" "So I've heard." "I happen to know he married Tracy only because
she was pregnant--and not by him--so her child wouldn't be born and grow up
out of wedlock." "But they broke up." "Yes, because Tracy had a miscarriage.
But family is very important to Danny--and not just his own family--but family
in general. If it comes down to it, you just get him to focus on that. But
it's not going to come to that--trust me--Danny will believe the story that
he's sterile... and who knows, maybe he really is." "You're really amazing,
Mr. Baldwin." "Michael," he corrects her. "Ok, Michael. You've again given
me the confidence that Danny and I can work things out." He smiles. "I'm
just trying to help." "So let's go find a place to get me pregnant, shall
we?" she asks. "For the sake of my marriage..." she adds. His eyes twinkle.
"And to put an end to Christine's meddling," Michael adds. "Absolutely,"
Phyllis agrees.
And with that the two departed to forge a bond between them that
would never be broken, and spawned a soul destined to one day
become Christine's greatest nemesis. If it was a boy, it would
be named Little David, and if it was a girl, it would be named
Little Sheila.
On the street, Victor and Diane are wearing hard hats and stand underneath a
small tent. They are pointing at something down the block and speaking to a
construction worker, who nods and walks off. "Hello there," Kurt says. Both
turn to him. "Aren't you that Kurt Costner fella who owns that free clinic
across the street?" Victor asks. Kurt nods. "That's me. What's going on
here?" "Well, as you may know, Hope Wilson has been working for you in this
godforsaken neighborhood." "Yes, at my clinic." "Right. And I've been very
disturbed about her working in such a neighborhood, so I decided to buy--"
"It's not for sale." "Oh, I didn't suppose that it would be. But it's quite
an asset, you know, a free medical clinic. So I bought all the nearby
community and I'm going to turn it into Newman Towers." Kurt is stunned.
"Victor! I located here to help the people in the neighborhood." "And you will
be helping the people of the neighborhood--it will just be a better crop of
people." "But the people who used to live here?" "Well, in a way, you've
helped them, too. After all, they're all rich now that I've bought their
land." "But Victor, they all lived in apartments--someone's rich but it's not
them." "Details, Kurt Costner. You're obviously not cut out to be a business
person." "No, Victor, I want to work with the poor. So now I'll just have to
work elsewhere." "Will you be taking Hope?" Victor asks. "Why?" Kurt asks
suspiciously. "I want Hope to work in a nice neighborhood," Victor says
firmly.
Jill looks at the CD-ROM Meg is holding, "Well, great, if that's an
encyclopedia, it looks light and easy to carry. You won't have to be coming
back for more volumes later." Meg lets out a truly exasperated sigh. "Oh,
I'm sorry--I forgot to say: this is an encyclopedia reader." She points to
the computer. "The only one we have in the house." Keith laughs. "Well,
maybe those books aren't as obsolete as you think, since they can be read from
anywhere." "Or MAYBE," Meg says, "We should enter the modern era and get more
computers. It's not like you can only have one, you know. Lots of people
have them all over their house--maybe even an ethernet." "All right, all
right," Keith says. "We'll take it under consideration. Meanwhile, it sounds
like it will be cheaper if Jill and I yield to the younger generation and move
to another room. This, uh, discussion we were having certainly requires no
specialized equipment." Jill nods hungrily. "You're right dear, it can
continue in just about ANY room of the house." "Will you two just get out of
here before I hurl," Meg pleads.
"Fired? I'm fired?" Hope says to Kurt. "I thought you said my job was
secure!" She stops suddenly and sniffs the air. "Wait a minute... it's that
perfume again. I know that perfume. Victor's out there with that tart--Diane
Jenkins, isn't he? I thought I heard the awful noise of those two kissing
through the din of the construction machinery." Kurt shrugs. "Well, I..."
"It's her fault, I just know it." "He paid you off, didn't he. You just go
out there and tell him the clinic's not for sale." Another man in a business
suit enters muttering about `a bout of the old gout'. Hope wacks him across
the knees with her cane and says "You think you're the only one with problems,
old man?" she rants. "Take a number!"
That evening, Jill wanders into the study looking for Meg but she is nowhere
to be found. Thinking it might be tidier to turn off the machine, Jill
glances at the screen. She surprises us viewers by figuring out how to click
`close' on the encyclopedia window and surprises herself by what she finds
underneath. The text of another window reads:
Victor: You really are quite an intriguing lady, aren't you?
* Careful, you might find I am more than you can handle.
Victor: That could not be. I am Victor Newman. No challenge is too great.
* Then I challenge you--meet me tonight. Private dining room. 9pm.
Victor: Very well. I shall take that challenge.
* And tell your pilot, Wally, to have the jet fueled. Just in case.
Victor: You are very sure of yourself aren't you.
* Promise you'll not back out. Your word now, or I won't be there.
Victor: You have Victor Newman's word. 9pm.
Jill stands transfixed. `9pm?' she says to herself. `Could that be Meg?
...and Victor. VICTOR? Maybe another boy she knows from school. But wait--it
says Victor NEWMAN, and Wally, and the private jet?' Jill clicks the screen
off (probably not really shutting down the computer) and rushes from the
house, perhaps to intervene [in a future AWO episode].
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1997 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!