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Moral
Date: 09 Apr 97 01:36:04 GMT
From: kmp@harlequin.com (Kent Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#34: "Excess and Failure"
Message-ID: <KMP.97Apr9013604@romulus.harlequin.com>
INSIDE... * Cole has a brilliant story idea.
* Ashley learns more about Kurt's past
* Olivia finally gets a clue.
* Connie gets a call from the Gateway to the West.
* Diane toughs it out when the going gets rough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 34, 09-Apr-97 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Excess and Failure"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nina, Cole, Ryan, and Victoria are together on a blanket in a field near the
Newman household. Vikki spins a soda bottle that sits between them. It
stops, pointing to her husband. She kisses him. Ryan takes the bottle and
spins it. It stops, pointing to Victoria. They kiss. Nina spins the
bottle. It points to Victoria. "Ick! I'm spinning again," she says. She
does and it points to Ryan. She kisses him again. Cole spins the bottle. It
points to Nina. They kiss. Vikki spins it and it points to Ryan. They kiss.
Ryan spins it, and it points to his wife. They kiss. This goes on for a
very, very long time. Finally, Cole has a realization that the Y&R writers
have never had. "Hey," he says. "This is boring." Nodding in strong
agreement, all get up to leave, each vowing never to play this stupid game
again.
Ashley and Kurt are seated beside each other on a Transglobal flight from
Genoa City International Airport to Cape Cod International Airport. "My
friend Kurt the Doctor," says Ashley proudly. "Well, I--" Kurt starts to
protest, when a voice on the speaker interrupts. "This is your captain
speaking. Folks, I'm afraid there's going to be a small delay in our arrival
at Cape Cod International Airport. It's nothing to be concerned about, but
we're going to be flying out over the ocean a ways and we invite you to spend
a few pleasant moments refreshing yourselves with the use of our water
flotation equipment. Also, the flight attendants will be coming by to offer
you parachutes--don't worry, you're not required to take one. The price is $5
if you're flying in coach, and they are of course complimentary for our Ransom
Class customers. Ashley looks worriedly to Kurt. "Sounds like they're hiding
something," she says. Kurt nods. "Could be." "I'd better go see if they
need my help," she says. "Ashley, I'm not so sure--" he starts to say, but
then realizing it will mean a little time alone at last, he adds, "uh, never
mind."
The phone rings outside Victor's office at Newman Enterprises. Connie
answers. "Hello?" "I'm trying to reach Victor--is he in?" the man at the
other end inquires. "Who may I say is calling?" Connie asks. "Tell him it's
Bill, returning his call." "Oh, hello, Mr. Gates. Mr. Newman is out of the
office right now. Can I take a message?" "Yes, please. Tell him that
Seattle is not for sale. However, if all he wants is my help in keeping his
son from moving to Seattle, I might be willing to deal." "You might?" Connie
asks. "Tell him if he'll consider upgrading all those 286's in Newman
Enterprises to something more compatible with my new NT operating system, I'll
consider it." "That's all you want? Just a few upgrades?" "Ma'am, I don't
know what planet you've been living on but this is no small thing for me to
ask. There are a lot of 286's still running at your company--in fact, it's a
substantial support headache for us maintaining the old software you're
running after this many years. Still, if he wants his son badly enough, he'll
deal. Just see that he gets the message."
Kurt is reading a magazine when Ashley returns from the plane's cabin. She
looks pale. When back in her seat, she whispers to Kurt. "They didn't want
to tell me but I told them I was determined to stay until I found out what was
going on, and, well, my reputation as a no nonsense business woman must have
preceded me because they gave in right away. Kurt, there's a nuclear bomb on
board. It's pressure sensitive and will be detonated by an attempt to land.
They're taking us out to sea so that the explosion won't happen over a
populated area!" Kurt gets up from his seat. "Kurt!" Ashley says to him in a
quiet but urgent tone. "They'll just tell you what they told me... if even
that much." Kurt laughs feebly. "I was headed for the lavatory," he says.
"Oh," says Ashley. "Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have just blurted it out like
that." Kurt shakes his head and heads up the aisle, but he doesn't go to the
lavatory. Thinking no one is looking, he ducks into the flight attendants'
supply elevator that leads to the cargo area below. Ashley sees him and
follows.
Malcolm, Olivia, Dru, and Neil are together around a card table at the
Winters' apartment. Neil spins a beer bottle that sits between them. It
stops, pointing to his wife. He kisses her. Dru takes the bottle and spins
it. It stops, pointing to Malcolm. They kiss. Malcolm spins the bottle. It
points to Neil. "Yo, bro! Time to spin agin!" he says. He does and it points
to Dru. He kisses her again. Olivia spins the bottle. It points to Malcolm.
They kiss. Neil spins it and it points to Olivia. They kiss. Dru spins it,
and it points to her husband. They kiss. This goes on for a very, very long
time. Finally, Olivia has a realization that the Y&R writers have never had.
"Hey," she says. "This is boring." Nodding in strong agreement, all get up to
leave, each vowing never to play this stupid game again.
The cargo hold. Kurt sees flight attendants inspecting a large crate. "Can I
be of help?" he asks. The taller man laughs. "Sure, if you're an expert in
nuclear bombs and sophisticated electronic triggers." Kurt blushes. "Well, I
used to be. It's been almost a year since I disarmed anything this complex,
though." The men back away and Kurt examines it. Satisfied that he
understands the mechanism, he starts to cut one of the wires when suddenly he
hears a familiar voice behind him. "Kurt!" It's Ashley. Kurt's hand slips
with the scissors and he almost cuts the wrong wire. "Put a sock in it,
Ashley. Can't you see I'm busy disarming a thermonuclear device?" "Oh,
sorry," she says meekly. Kurt starts to cut the wire again. Just as he's
about to, he hears, "Katherine!" He stops cold and turns to glare at Ashley,
who is holding a cell phone. "You'll never guess where I am! I tell you,
Kurt is such an amazing man..." Kurt yanks the phone from her. "Katherine,
this is Kurt. She'll have to call you back." He takes the phone and steps on
it. Then he goes back to cutting the wire.
As Kurt cuts the wire, the clock on the bomb stops and everyone breathes a
sigh of relief. "Great! Now we can return to Boston safely," Ashley
announces, as if suddenly an expert in these matters. One by one they take
the elevator to the main level of the plane. Kurt and Ashley go up last, and
join the flight attendant who has gone to the front cabin to tell the captain
the good news. But when they get there, they are disappointed. The crew has
been shot, and the plane is on autopilot, apparently headed away from Boston.
"Now what?" Ashley says in a panic. "Kurt, we're going to die!" Kurt sighs
and pushes her aside. "I'd hoped I wouldn't have to reveal that I was once a
skilled pilot," he mutters. He pushes the pilot's limp body out of the chair
and replaces him, then smoothly turns around the plane. "Flight attendants,
cross-check and prepare for landing," he says into a microphone.
Victor, Hope, and Nikki are together around a large oak table at Victor's
apartment. Nikki looks apprehensive. "Is this going to work? I thought you
needed at least four people to play Spin The Bottle." "Trust me, it can be
played with any number of players," says Victor. "And besides, Ashley could
not be here because she is away with that Kurt Kostner fellow." Nikki spins
the bottle and it comes up pointing toward Hope. "Very funny," Victor says.
"Now you have to spin it again," he explains. "But if you do that, won't it
just come up pointing to you?" Hope asks. "Never mind about that. You won't
know until you try it now, will you?" Hope spins the bottle. It comes up
pointing at Victor. "Spin again," says Nikki. "It's not pointing to Victor?"
"Nope," says Nikki, lying. She puts her finger over her mouth to tell Victor
to be quiet and climbs into his lap, kissing him passionately. Hope spins
again. "How about now?" Nikki comes up for air. "Nope. Try again." Just
then, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it," Hope says, getting up from the game.
It's Diane. Hope leads her in and explains they are playing Spin the Bottle.
"Oh, Kurt, my hero!" Ashley mutters. "Now everything will be ok." "Not
quite," says Kurt. "Not quite?" asks the flight attendant. "Please strap in,
we're about to land," Kurt says. "Oh, right," the man says, and does as Kurt
says. When the man is strapped in, Kurt locks the steering wheel and whips
out of his chair. In one smooth motion, he kicks the man in the chin,
knocking him unconscious. "Take his gun," Kurt says. "His gun?" Ashley
asks. "But aren't we about to land?" "Soon, but not that soon. This is the
man who shot the flight crew. My skills as a private detective told me that
he was not a real flight attendant when he didn't seem aware of when to strap
in. I think you'll find he's got a gun, and he was planning to shoot me
before I could land the plane."
"I can't believe you're playing such a boring game," Diane says. "Well, what
would you suggest?" Nikki asks. Diane pulls out a handkerchief and blindfolds
Victor. Victor looks excited. Diane whispers "shhh!" to Victor. "Just sit
still," she says, as she ties his arms to the chair with the tablecloth. "This
game is called Hope," she says. "Because now I'm like Hope and can't see
what's going on?" Victor says. Diane shakes her head. "No, Victor," says
Diane. "Because you get to hope we'll come back and untie you later." She
turns to Nikki and says, "I can't believe you keeping coming back to this guy.
Just take his credit card and let's go shopping." Nikki nods and grabs
Victor's whole wallet. "You're right, this is a lot less boring than that
stupid game we were playing before," Hope admits. "Thank goodness you came
along and saved us--we could have been spinning our wheels--" "And our
bottles," Nikki interjects. "--for a long time."
Ashley searches the man and finds the gun. She sits back and breathes a big
sigh of relief. "NOW it's over," she says. "Are you kidding?" Kurt says,
"This is just the tip of the iceberg. I used to be a Pulitzer-prize-winning
novelist. It's not over until we do the book, the movie, the sequel to the
movie, and maybe a third sequel. And then there's the merchandising.
Action figures, t-shirts, mouse pads and screen savers, ... Did I mention
I used to be Vice President of sales and marketing at ..." Lights fade, and
the music (no, NOT "Bless the Beasts"! "We've only just begun", of course)
plays.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1997 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
And don't forget to try the new "character index" while you're there!