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Original posting of Episode 26:

Date: 01 Mar 97 05:01:13 GMT
From: kmp@harlequin.com (Kent Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#26: "Sweep Week"
Message-ID: <KMP.97Mar1050113@romulus.harlequin.com>

INSIDE...  * Kurt Resolves to End Ashley's Concerns about Him
         * Joanie Prepares for Phyllis's Absence
       * Dru Consults a Marriage Counselor
     * Lynn Takes Office Tidying to Heart

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ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 26, 01-Mar-97  by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)

                             "Sweep Week"
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It's the Genoa City Bar.  (The one Nina came to the other night.  The only
bar in town, presumably.)  Kurt enters and sits at a table.  The waiter
takes his order, but we can't hear over the music.  A few moments later,
Vinnie enters (the old acquaintance of Kurt's we met at Gina's).  "Vincent,"
Kurt says.  "Kurt, the K," the man says.  Kurt shrugs, "It's just Kurt now.
I've retired my knife."  Vinnie looks at him suspiciously.  "Kurt, Kurt...
One doesn't retire from one's friends.... And anyway, we're even now.  You
let us down real bad when you didn't pay us back on that loan, but you
offered your wife and kids as collateral and we collected.  Live and learn,
right?"  Kurt buries his face in his hands.

Danny and Phyllis's apartment.  The living room is empty.  As Joanie enters,
we notice there's a large duffle bag by the door.  It is bent in the middle.
Could Joanie be moving out?  As Joanie walks near the bag, the bag starts to
move--there must be someone inside it.  Joanie opens the top of the bag
shakes her finger at whoever is down inside.  "Stop wiggling, Mrs.
Romalatti.  If you're not careful, you're going to roll into something and
hurt yourself.  You'll be fine, I promise.  They promised they would take
VERY good care of you."  She ties the top of the sack back up.

Vinnie says to Kurt, "So you asked me--what is it I can do for you?  Another
loan?"  Kurt shakes his head `no'.  "No, I'm through with that.  But there's
this person--" "Say no more, Kurt.  Let me guess.  The one with the face of
a dog--following you like a sick puppy every where you go?  You're sick of
her nose in all your private parts, and you'd like her to back off, am I
right or am I right?"  Kurt forces a smile.  "I guess it shows."  "Shows?
Kurt, I've been following you for weeks trying to get a little time in and
the golden retriever ain't left your side for all that time.  She needs to
learn to heel..."  Kurt nods.  "But just that--I don't want her put to sleep
or anything like that--" "Not put to sleep?  Hmmm, that might cost you
extra."  "Really," Kurt asks.  Why's that?"  "Well, when we put a problem to
sleep, it stays sleeping if you know what I mean.  But when we just whack
'em with a newspaper--well, eventually they come back for more.  The sleep
thing is really easier--and we make it cheaper, too."  "Well, I can't afford
to pay much."  "It's ok--as long as you want the works, I'll do it for free.
You can just owe me a favor some other time, what do ya say?"  Kurt
hesitates, but realizes he isn't monetarily able to agree otherwise.  He
nods, and Ashley's fate is sealed.

The doorbell at Danny and Phyllis's rings.  It's Vinnie and another man,
taller and obviously much stronger.  "Hello, are you from the service?"
Joanie asks.  "That's right--the service.  I was told you had a package to
be picked up?"  Joanie nods and points to the bag.  "Right here waiting."
He opens the top of the sack and sticks his hand in.  The part of the bag
that is presumably Phyllis's head draws back to avoid his touch.  "Very good
quality merchandise," he says smiling.  "And you're sure no one will miss
it?"  Joanie smiles.  "Eventually--but not for a good while.  I'll see to
that."  The man pulls an envelope from his pocket and hands it to her.
"Your delivery fee; you'll get the rest in the manner we discussed once
we've examined the goods."  Joanie peeks into the envelope, obviously
pleased with its contents.  Vinnie makes a silent snapping motion with his
fingers and the man behind him slings the duffle over his shoulder.  The two
leave and Joanie leans against the door with a huge smile of relief.

Dru's house.  The doorbell rings and Dru runs to answer it.  It's Vinnie!
She looks up and down the hallway.  Seeing no one, she grabs him by the arm
and yanks him firmly into the apartment, slamming the door quickly behind
him.  As he enters, we see the back of his shirt, which reads "Marriage
Counselor."  She sees it too and looks confused.  "Wait a minute, I thought
you was--" He laughs.  "It's just an inside joke.  We consider our services
to offer a friendly alternative to divorce, so we call ourselves Marriage
Counselors," he explains.  "Oh," she says, nodding slowly.  "Well, look,
it's this way--my man, Neil, he's been getting a little too ... over the
edge...  you know--too pushy... "  "And you'd just like to push back.  Over
some edge somewhere, I mean..." She smiles.  "You got it, 'cuz if I just let
him go, he'll just do the same damned thing to my sister, know what I mean?"
"No," she continues, "when one of these things flares up, a body's gotta
take decisive action."  He nods.  "Consider it done."  "And the cost?"
"Don't give it another thought, Mrs.  Winters.  It will be discreetly billed
to the estate as "disposal services".  You'll never notice."  She shakes his
hand.  "It's a pleasure doing business with you, Vin," she says.

Danny enters the apartment carrying some groceries.  "Hello, Mr.
Romalatti," Joanie greets him.  "Joanie, we're friends.  I told you to call
me `Danny'!"  "Sorry--Danny."  "Have you seen my wife around?"  "Phyllis?"
she says, as if to confirm the present state of Danny's ever-confused
marital status.  Danny nods, "yes, Phyllis--have you seen her?"  "Not since
this morning.  And she was acting very strange then--well, not strange for
her--but, you know, strange like she gets when there's something going on
and you don't know what it is.  She said she was going out and when I asked
what time she'd be back, she said she couldn't say."  Danny looks perplexed,
but still understanding--as if this were normal Phyllis behavior, even if it
didn't make any sense.  "Well, if she calls, you should let me know.  I'm on
my way to rehearsal but I wanted to drop off these groceries on the way."
He hands Joanie the bag.  "Thanks, Joanie."  "Thanks---Danny," she says
being careful to refer to him as he's asked.

It's the next day.  The doorbell rings at the Romalatti residence, where
Danny is sitting on the couch playing with Little Daniel.  Joanie runs in to
get the door.  It's Sasha.  "I need to speak to Phyllis," Sasha explains.
Danny looks up. "She isn't here--apparently she called yesterday and she's
gone to visit her mother," he tells her.  "That's bull," says Sasha.
"Phyllis doesn't have a mother."  Danny is puzzled but, being innocent of
the true situation remains calm.  "Well, maybe the message got
garbled--Joanie's the one who talked to her--ask her."  Joanie smiles.  "It
guess it isn't her actual mother, but it's someone who was always there for
her when she was growing up--I've heard her refer to her as her mother
before.  I don't know any more than that--and that she was sick--so Phyllis
said she had to leave to visit her."  Sasha isn't buying but doesn't know
what more to do at this time, so let's it go.  "Doesn't sound right to me,
somehow, but I guess if that's all you know it will have to do.  Sorry to
bother you all.  If she does call, could you tell her `Sasha' was looking
for her?"  "We'll do that," Danny agrees, and Sasha leaves.

Lynn sits at her desk at Paul's office.  A man enters wearing a gas mask and
carrying a metal container attached to a thin hose.  On his shirt it says
ACME Exterminators.  Lynn perks up immediately, "Oh, good--you're here."
Vinnie removes his gas mask and nods.  "And the bugs you'd like
exterminated?"  "Just one--she'll be here shortly.  Could you wait in
there?" She directs him to Paul's office.  "I'll send her in when she
arrives," she says as she closes Paul's door.  "When who arrives?" Cricket
says, overhearing the remark as she enters. "Oh, Christine," Lynn says,
startled.  "Go right in."  Cricket smiles and nods and heads in.  The door
doesn't quite close and we hear Cricket start to speak but we can't quite
make out what she is saying.  Then there is a spraying sound followed by the
thump of a body falling to the floor.  Moments later, Vinnie emerges and
hands her a piece of paper.  It reads "Your office has been certified
Bug-Free."  Lynn smiles.  "It doesn't leave any traces?"  He shakes his
head.  "It's a rare extract of a South American plant.  The smell goes away
entirely in 5 minutes, and it leaves no trace.  They'll rule it a freak
heart attack."  Lynn hands the man an envelope and smiles.  "Thank you!" she
says.  "Oh, the pleasure is all mine.  I didn't know her long but already
she was getting a little preachy about my attire, the way I wash my hands,
the logo on my shirt, ... the pleasure was all mine."

It's a new day again.  Danny returns to the house to be greeted by Joanie,
who is dressed in a long, silky, opaque robe which has been hastily pulled
around her.  "Joanie..." Danny says with a confused smile on his face.
Joanie clutches at the robe. "Oh, sorry--I was just trying on some of your
wife's things--wondering if maybe I should get something like them for
myself."  "And what was the verdict?" Danny asks.  She puts an overly
exaggerated frown on her face.  "Oh, I don't know.  It's hard to tell--I'm
not a very good judge of these things--I wish your wife were here to coach
me.  She's really good at this."  "Yes, she is, isn't she," Danny surprises
us by admitting.  "Maybe you could fill in for her while she's away?  Tell
me what works and what doesn't?"  "Oh, I dunno, Joanie--I'm so tired, and I
still need to say good night to Daniel."  "Oh, he's already asleep, Danny.
And if you're tired--tell you what, why don't you get a nice shower and lay
down on the bed.  I'll give you a good back rub and then if you still have
anything left in you, you can just lay there and watch the show."  "A back
rub?  I haven't had a good back rub in--you've got a deal, Joanie."  He
heads to the bathroom for his shower as she raises her eyebrows excitedly.
To no one in particular she says, "I think I'm going to like having you out
of the picture, Phyllis... and to think, I always used to wonder why I'd
come in and find you talking to yourself... now I can see why you do
it--it's just so much fun to gloat aloud!"

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         Copyright 1997 Kent M. Pitman.  All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner.  The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...

   Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
    as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
    can be found at:  http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html