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Date: 04 Jul 1998 23:46:09 -0400
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#102: "Bright Ideas"
Message-ID: <sfwu34x2c5a.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE... * Will Trisha's brilliant career move delight Grace?
* Will Jill be moved by Katherine's bright idea?
* Will Victor's wallet be suddenly lighter?
* Will Phillip light a fire under his parents about staying together?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 102, 04-Jul-98 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Bright Ideas"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trisha answers the door at Ryan's apartment to find Megan. "Megan!" she
says, "I din't expect to see you here today." "Can I come in?" Megan asks.
"Of course," Trisha says. "Dare I ask if Ryan is here?" Megan probes
cautiously. "No, Ryin's not here. He's still liveen' with his son," Trish
replies. "... and his ex-wife," Meg adds, for no apparent reason other than
just to rub it in. "Did you come by just to give me a hard time about Ryin?"
Trisha responds indignantly. "No," says Meg, "I didn't. In fact, I came by
to make a suggestion--something you might do to while away the hours." "I'm
already workeen' on my Master's Degree at college." "Wow, hasn't Ryan only
been gone two days?" Meg asks. "Yes, but Genoa City college offers a number
of very specialized opshins," Trisha says. "Oh," Meg says, "I heard about
that. Like the Nick Newman Program that lets you get a business degree in
just one summer without really attending." "Exactly," Trish says, "only
there's not just a Nick Newmin program. There's also a Christine Romalotti
Memorial Law degree that works the same." "Wow," says Meg, "sounds like one
of those restaurants where all the sandwiches are named after celebrities."
"Right," says Trish, "only it's more like die-it sandwiches because the
requirements are so light." "Well, that's perfect then," Meg says. "Because
it leaves you time free between classes to follow up on my suggestion."
"Which is?" Trish says, eyeing her sister uncertainly. "Which is that you
should drop by Newman Enterprises and see if they have any jobs." "So I could
pick up some money to pay for my Master's Degree!" Trisha says. "See? You're
such a quick study, Trish. I wish I were more like you," Meg says. "You're
pretty smart, too," Trisha says. "Maybe," Meg says. "But you're cuter."
Trisha blushes. "Oh, Meg. I am so glad you came by to see me today. I feel
so much bitter than I did when you arrived." They hug.
Esther is alone at the Chancellor Estate walking down one of the hallways we
normally never see. Cobwebs dance all around, suggesting no one goes here
much. "Kate?" she calls. "Little Kate?" No answer. "I'm sorry for
forgetting you," she says. "Don't hide from me." Still no answer. "It's
just that Mrs. C. has had me so busy these last few months and--" She opens a
door and looks in. Then she slams it. "Oh, the smell," she says. She takes
a deep breath and then opens it again. She says, "Oh, no, I'm too late."
Then she slumps to the ground in a faint.
At Newman Enterprises, Nick is together with his father. "Dad, I gotta tell
ya, Grace has gotten me out of a lot of jams lately. And she still lets me
take all the credit. Can you believe my good fortune?" "Well, m'boy," Victor
says, "as I've always told you, when one is rich, one must surround oneself
with starving people who are hungry to get ahead because one can really take
advantage of that." "Well, Grace is nice and thin," Nick says, trying to
pretend he understands the import of his father's remark. "Perhaps you should
give her a little raise," Victor says. "A raise? Do you think?" Nick says.
"Yes, m'boy, I do." "But I thought you told me never to give raises to people
who didn't ask for them." "Yes, that's usually true, m'boy," Victor agrees,
"but in this case, I think that you will eventually learn that spoiling an
attractive woman can reap you plenty of rewards down the road." "I don't get
it, Dad," Nick says. "Don't worry, m'boy. I've gotten used to that." Nick
is silent for a moment, but then eventually says: "So should we give her a new
title to go with the raise?" Victor doesn't look that enthusiastic but plays
along. "Well, now, I don't know. What kind of title were you thinking of?"
"Well, let's see. Mostly she finds and corrects problems in my math. How
about ``Professional Finder of My Math Errors''?" "Well, you really shouldn't
put pronouns in a title, you know," Victor explains patiently. "Really? Why?"
Nick asks. "It's just not done," Victor explains. "Well, how about
``Associate Finder of My Math Errors'' instead then," Nick asks. Victor
frowns. "How about just ``Associate Finder of Math Errors''?" "That's
perfect!" Nick says. He doesn't say it, but you can tell he wonders how his
Dad can do things like that.
Later, Esther is in the laundry room at the Chancellor Estate, pacing back and
forth. "What am I going to do?" she moans nervously. "Mrs. C. already
thinks I'm a ditz, and now I've forgotten little Kate. Ohhhhh. I wish I
hadn't named her after Mrs. C. She's going to be so sad to know her little
namesake died of neglect. What on earth am I going to tell her? I just know
she's going to be upset..."
Back in Nick's office, there's a knock at the door. Trisha enters, looking
uncertain as to whether she's in the right place. Nick rises to greet her.
"Hello!" he says. "Hi," Trisha says with a blush. "I'm not sure if I'm in
the right place." "Don't worry about it," Nick assures her, "I ask myself
that same question all the time. What brings you by?" "Well, I was thinkeen'
maybe I'd apply for a job here at Newmin Interprises," Trisha explains. "What
kind of job?" "I don't know. Anytheen', really. I heard some people talking
in the hall about how you have a new ``Associate Finder of Math Errors''. I
was thinking something like that might be fun and not too hard. What other
kinds of errors do you make?" "Well," Nick says thinking. "I don't know.
Maybe spelling errors?" "Spelleen'! Rilly??" Trisha asks. "Ryin would be so
proud of me if I could do something importint like that." "That's right. I
knew you looked familiar. You're that other woman that broke up Ryan's
marriage to--uh---" "Nina?" Trisha says helpfully. "Right!" Nick says. "Glad
to finally put a face with the various names I've heard for you around here."
Trisha is embarrassed but pleased. "Wow, I'm famiss, too!" "You sure are,"
Nick says. "Anyway, let me talk to my dad and see what he says." "Will it
take long?" Trisha asks. Nick shrugs. "Nah. Dad's always willing to take
time out for me, and he always gives me what I want whether I deserve it or
not." "Wow," Trisha says, "I never met innybody with that kind of business
clout before." Nick smiles proudly and says. "Wait here, I shouldn't be a
minute."
Grace enters Nick's office to find Trisha waiting. "Can I help you?" she
asks. "I'm hoping I can help you," Trisha says. "Help me? But my job is
helping--I find math errors," Grace explains. "I'm sort of Nick's right
hand." "Well, then," Trisha says, "I guess I'll be his left hand. Sort of
doing the theen's you've got your hand full with." Grace sighs. "And never
knowing what the right hand is doing," she says under her breath. But Trisha
hears her and laughs. "That's rilly funny," she says. "Anyway, my speshilty
will be spelleen' ... I'm Trisha." Nick enters and says, "It's all set! Oh,
hi, Grace." Grace says, "Nick, Trisha here was just telling me she's your..."
"New left hand," Trisha says proudly. Nick nods to Grace. "Yep, she'll be
going over our spelling errors and fixing them. Now, let's get you a desk
and a dictionary and--" Trisha smiles broadly. "A dictionary?" she says.
"This is sooooo great. I always mint to learn how to use one of those, and
now I'll be using one all the time," she says proudly. Grace just sighs and
mutters, "Let's hope so."
At the Chancellor Estate, it's evening and Katherine is about to leave for a
charity function. "Now, I'll see you later tonight," Katherine says. "Have a
nice evening, Mrs. C.," Esther says from the door as Katherine walks to the
car. Robert opens the door and Katherine gets in. Then the two drive off.
Esther closes the door and goes back in. Just then, Jill comes rushing
downstairs. "Esther!" "What is it now?" Esther asks. "Where did Katherine
go?" "Do I look like an information booth?" Esther asks. "Do I look like
someone who would hesitate to strangle you for insubordination?" Jill asks
furiously. "She's gone to a charity event," Esther says. "Good," Jill says,
"she'll be gone for hours." "Jill? What are you up to?" Esther asks.
"Esther," Jill says, "Do you realize that curiosity killed the cat? I've
recently come into the acquaintance of some very large rats who'd be only too
happy to do the deed, too." Jill starts back up the stairs when the power
goes out and the room is left in total darkness. "Esther!" Jill yells. "You
don't have to yell," Esther replies. "I'm right here." "Get me a kerosene
lamp--there are some in the kitchen." "Why don't you get it yourself?" Esther
says. Jill says, "Esther, I am still a guest in this house and--" "And what?
You think Mrs. C. is going to fire me for not helping you? I bet she gives
me a raise." Jill sighs and storms back down the stairs, groping toward the
kitchen.
At the Newman Ranch, Victor is already in his bed sleeping. He wears pajamas
and a pointed cloth hat with a ball of yarn at the end of the point.
Suddenly, he is disturbed from his sleep by a voice in the distance. He goes
to the stairs where he hears someone say, "Victor Newman, come on down." He
descends the stairs and finds himself on a stage, where Doug Davidson greets
him. "Paul Williams? What's this all about?" "I'm not Paul Williams," Doug
explains. "I'm Doug Davidson. I only play Paul Williams on your show."
Victor thrusts his tongue into the side of his mouth and considers what Doug
has said to him. "Uh, huh," he says. "It's true," says Diane, walking past
them on the stage. "Doug sometimes sidelines as the M.C. of this other show."
"Well, I'll be damned," Victor says. "Very probably," says Diane. "When I
get back to reality, I'm going to have Paul Williams investigate this whole
matter and get to the bottom of it." "Speaking of bottoms," Diane says,
"you've really been sinking to a new low lately with how you've been treating
me." Victor turns to Doug. "Are you gonna let her get away with that or
what?" Doug shrugs. "Maybe." "All she wants is my money, you know," Victor
says. "Well, if The Price Is Right, maybe she'll be getting it." "Never,"
Victor says. "That woman's not going to see a penny of my money."
Back in the Chancellor attic, we find Jill looking around among the dust and
spiders. She isn't finding what she is looking for, though. She goes through
box after box. Still nothing. Suddenly, the power comes back on. Jill
decides she'd better head back down. As she does, she sees a box marked
"Phillip Chancellor, Private and Confidential". She smiles. "That's where I
start tomorrow!" Jill says. "Oh, it's going to be such a good day tomorrow..."
She takes the lantern back down to the kitchen just in time to hear Katherine
entering the front door. A close call.
Doug shakes his head with glee at Victor's belief that he can keep his money
from Diane. "I'm afraid, Victor, that you're just not up on how this show
works. Now let me explain it to you. If you'll just look over to that little
device Diane is next to, we'll explain it." "What is that thing?" Victor
asks, turning his gaze almost vertically upward. "That, Victor, is a game
called the Range Finder. This is how it works. We've had to adapt it
slightly to show the full range of your money--that's why it goes up into the
lower stratosphere. But I assure you, it is finite in height. Now, somewhere
in there is the amount that you really owe her for all the hurt you've caused.
If you can guess that amount, we'll pay the amount and you'll owe nothing.
BUT if you guess wrong--particularly if you get greedy and lowball the
amount-- you'll have to pay it all--plus a small fee for being allowed to
appear on our show today." "Well, that's easy," says Victor, "because the
woman deserves nothing. Stop that damned thing while it's still pointing to
zero." "Are you sure?" "Of course I'm sure. I offered that woman a VERY
generous settlement several inches higher than where I'm pointing to now and
she didn't accept it. She got greedy. So now she deserves nothing." Doug
shakes his head. "Ladies, will you light up the correct price." There is a
pinging sound and Doug says, "I'm sorry, Victor, you were nowhere close." "I
don't see it, Victor says." Doug calls offstage. "Can someone bring us some
binoculars." A stage hand runs in with some and Victor looks through them.
"Way up there, can you see it now?" Doug says pointing. "Way up there? Are
you ought of your mind?" Victor says. "That's ridiculous."
A short time later, back at the Chancellor Estate, Katherine is with Esther.
"So Jill has gone to bed?" Esther nods. "She was very tired after an evening
in the attic. I don't know what she's looking for but she's determined."
Katherine shakes her head. "Esther, I want you to go into town and run some
errands for me." "But it's the middle of the night, Mrs. C." "That's why I'm
sending YOU," Katherine says. "Do you think I should have to go into town in
the middle of the night?" "No, Mrs. C., but I..." "You may have Robert drive
you, of course." "Oh!" says Esther brightening. "Thank you!" Esther goes off
to find him while Katherine sneaks into the kitchen and finds the lamp that
Jill has left on the counter. She picks it up with a napkin so as not to
disturb the prints and grabs a few ice cubes from the freezer. Then she goes
back up to the attick and removes the protective glass from the lantern,
breaking it into pieces on the floor. And she arranges the lantern to be on
high burn, setting it down perched partly on some wood and partly on the ice
cubes. The room is hot and the ice is melting. We can see it dripping. Soon
the lantern will fall. "There," says Katherine to no one but the camera, "I
don't know what Jill is after, but she's not going to find it. I'll see to
that." She leaves and goes back downstairs.
On the set of The Price Is Right, Victor has just lost the game. "But!" Doug
explains to Victor, "never let it be said that we're a mean lot here on The
Price Is Right, because this isn't a normal Range Finder game. No, this is
`Range Finder ONCE .... or TWICE'." "I don't get it," Victor says. "It's a
variation of our `Hole in One or Two' golf game," Doug explains. Victor still
doesn't appear to get it. "You don't watch a lot of CBS daytime programming,
do you?" Doug asks. "Just get to the point," Victor says. "Time is money."
"So good of you to put it that way," Doug says. "Now, in this game you see we
have a little mountain climber and he's going to climb this little mountain of
dollar bills we've set up." "And I tell you when he's as high as Diane wants?
That's easy. It'll be at the top." "No," Doug explains, "as the climber
climbs, you'll lose all the money he passes. All you have to do to stop him
is admit you have wronged Diane horribly. A sincere apology." "I'm not going
to do that..." Victor says. "Come on, Victor," Diane says. "I told them they
should make you say you'd come back to me and they said that was being
unreasonable. So we settled on this--which is comparatively easy. Just admit
what a shyster husband you were, and we stop deducting money from your bank
account." "What happens when it goes over the top?" Victor asks. "Then you
have no more money and the game is over." "I'm not going to play," Victor
says. Doug shrugs. "You can choose not to, but I'm afraid a Mrs. Phyllis
Romalotti--a friend of Mr. Michael Baldwin--perhaps you've heard of him?--has
already generously broken the security codes to all of your bank accounts
worldwide and offered them over to us, so you have no more control of your
money... well, unless you choose to apologize, of course."
From the bottom of the stairs, Katherine calls upward: "Jill!" A moment
later, Jill arrives at the top of the stairs wearing a granny gown. "Come
down here, I want to talk to you," she demands. Jill comes down. "I want to
know what you've been doing in the attic," Katherine says. "Well, I--I was
looking for something," Jill says. "In the dark? I understand there was a
power failure." "Well, I took a lantern," Jill says. "Into that dusty attic?
You could have started a fire!" "I was careful," Jill says. "You're sure?"
Katherine asks. "Of course I'm sure, you old biddy," Jill says. "Why are you
asking me these things?" "Because a lantern is missing from the kitchen
and--ohmigod--do you smell smoke?" she asks. Jill looks up to see the
upstairs ablaze. "The house is on fire!" Jill says. Jill starts to run up
the stairs, presumably to rescue something from the attic. "Don't be a fool,"
Katherine says. "Come out of the house!" Jill almost doesn't come, but
Katherine pulls her just in time to keep her from getting burned as a flash
fire whooshes down the stairs on the all-too-flammable carpet that lines it.
They run to the door and stand outside watching the house burn.
Victor stubbornly watches the climber head up the pile of money. As it does,
a counter reads off the amount of money. About halfway up, the counter rolls
over (too many digits) and the device counting the money explodes. Doug
shrugs. "We don't need to know how much money after this point
anyway--everyone knows it's a lot." He looks to Victor who looks like he
might be trying to mouth the word "sorry" but he can't get it out. The
climber keeps climbing. Suddenly, a bugle goes off as the man reaches top.
"I'm sorry," Paul says, "You've lost all of your money to your ex-ex-wife
Diane here because of a simple failure to admit what a shyster you are." The
audience applauds wildly.
Suddenly, Victor wakes in a cold sweat. It was a dream. (Big surprise, huh?)
He reaches for the phone and dials. John Silva answers. "Hello?" "I'm sorry
to call you so late," Victor says. "We need to talk. I've decided I might be
willing to up my offer to Diane just slightly." "Slightly? Victor, I'm not
sure she really cares. How slightly?" "John, I want you to compute 50% of my
holdings worldwide." "50%? Victor, you're not likely to have to pay that
much unless we go to trial and the jury doesn't like you." Victor hears echos
of the gameshow's applause in his mind. "I've been doing some thinking, John,
and I think that might be just a bit more likely than I've been considering
it. Now, draw up the paperwork, ahright?"
It's morning and Jill sits with Katherine huddled outside the house as firemen
pick through the rubble. "Do you know what started it?" Katherine asks. The
fireman nods. "It appears to have been started when a lantern that was left
burning in the attic fell over and broke." Katherine looks at Jill. "Jill!
And you said you were careful?" "I didn't do that!" Jill says defensively.
"No? And who else was spending all evening rattling around up there with a
lantern? Of COURSE you did it." She reaches out to try to strangle Jill. The
two roll around in the wet, smoldering ash of the driveway where the house
used to be. Just then someone calls out, "I found a body. Looks like a
child." Esther, who's been sitting nearby biting her fingernails gets up and
screams, "Kate!" Katherine looks very upset. "Ohmigod! I forgot you had a
daughter," Katherine says; her tone is apologetic, but she does not explain
why. Esther is just glad not to be getting blamed for the death. "That's ok,
Mrs. C., I often used to forget, too. But now she's dead...." Esther bursts
into tears. She may not be a good mother, but she did care about the girl.
Salena Wiley walks up to Jill and says, "Jill Abbott?" Jill looks at her and
says. "Of course I'm Jill Abbott. This was my house that burned last night."
"Your fire, maybe. Not your house," Salena says. "Mrs. Abbott, you're under
arrest for arson and first-degree murder. You have the right to remain
silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used
against you." "Well, then you'll have a lot of good things to use against
her," Katherine laughs, "because she's never been known to stay quiet for
long!"
Across town, Nina and Ryan are home with young Phillip. Ryan gets up to move
toward the door. "Where do you think you're going?" Phillip asks. "I'm
afraid I'm going to see my fiance," Ryan explains. "No you're not," Phillip
explains. "Now, Phillip, you can't make your father stay here all the time.
Trisha has been really patient and he nees to see her." "No, he doesn't,"
Phillip asserts. "He needs to stay. He HAS to stay." A baseball goes
whizzing in Ryan's direction. "Hey, how many times have I told you not to
throw the ball in the house," Ryan says. "He didn't throw anything," Nina
says. "I was watching him. Where did that come from?" Just then, some steak
knives from the table fly up and go spinning toward Ryan, catching his shirt
just above the shoulder and pinning him to the door. "I said," Phillip
repeats, "you HAVE TO stay." Nina looks at Phillip, whose eyes have turned a
brilliant red, and says "Phillip, what are you doing?" The wind starts to
blow, even though the windows are closed. Phillip glares at his mother and
says, "Oh, put a sock in it." Just then, a pair of folded socks from a pile
on the couch goes flipping toward her and sticks in her mouth. "That's
better," he says. "Now be quiet. I DON'T want to have to set fire to you."
He turns back to his father. "So, Dad, what do you say you don't go out after
all and instead you stay in and we watch a good football game together. Just
the two of us. Mom can bring us Doritos and stuff--if she hasn't eaten them
all again. Won't it be fun?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1998 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!