Episode 79, originally published 02-Jan-98

They Come in Threes

Flo is at Nina's apartment. She sees some papers piled up on the table and starts to read. As she reads, she gets herself more and more comfy on the couch and her eyes become affixed to what she's reading. She turns page after page as if hypnotized. As Nina re-enters the room, Flo says "Wow! This is really steamy stuff!" "Hey, give me that!" Nina says, grabbing at the manuscript. "No way!" says Flo, "I'm not done reading!" Nina waits as Flo flips through one last page and then hands the stack back to her. "So," says Flo, "you and Ryan and that little blondey did all those things?" "We did no such thing, Mom. But it's creative license. I decided to let my innermost fantasies run free and this is where it took me." "Well, I know it's just a short story, but this is REALLY good. And it shows it from a point of view that would definitely excite a woman... I hope your publisher likes it." "Well, if he doesn't, I'll find another. Because I agree--this is the sort of thing that's going to knock someone's socks off."

Nina arrives at Cole's. As so often happens, the door is open but no one is home. "Well, I'll just leave it for him to read," she says, laying it on the table next to his computer. Then, just as quickly, she leaves.

Victoria arrives at the Tack Estate but no one is there. "So, Cole," Victoria says to no one, "I suppose you're out with your girlfriend ... Sheesh, one wonders what you see in her. For a chemist, she offers so little chemistry..." Her eye catches on Nina's manuscript. "But if you're out, it must be because you finished a story. I wonder what it's about..." She picks up and starts reading. "A woman surprising another woman and her husband? Oh come on, I know who those characters are--that's you and me and Ashley..." She starts reading. "Hey, this is good... this is VERY good." She sits on the bed and keeps reading. "Wow, Cole, you really have some mind--I had no idea you felt this way. Maybe I'd better give you another chance...."

* * *

Grace is sitting in her office looking at a picture of her, Tony, and Cassie that Cassie has obviously drawn for her to indicate her strong sense of family. Grace holds scissors in her hands backwards and stabs with them at Tony's face, driving full on through into the desktop, where one blade is firmly enough embedded that it stands straight up without help, leaving the other to twist open and closed as she flicks it with her finger. "Ohhhhh," she says with a huff, "why can't you see?" The camera pans up to show Nick watching from the door. "Maybe it's because you've stabbed out his eyes," Nick says. "Nick!" she says blushing heavily and trying to remove the scissors from the desk inconspicuously. "How long have you been standing there?" she asks. "Just long enough to know you're not very happy with Tony's vision," he says with a grin. "Here, let me help you with that--" he says as he starts to reach toward the scissors. "No, it's ok. It's not anything you need to worry about," she says, waving him back. "Well, I don't know," Nick says. "When it starts to affect Newman Enterprises desk inventory, I'd say you've crossed the line into an area I'm practically obliged to involve myself in." She frees the scissors herself and examines the mark she's left in the table. "It's just a nick," she says. He gives her a funny look. "Hey! A guy could take that pretty personally if he wanted to..." Nick says, still trying to be amiable.

"Nick, I know you're just trying to be nice but really, I'm having a private problem and... well, I should have just closed my door." "But you didn't. Maybe that's a sign--you know, that your subconscious didn't want to close me out." "I don't think so. I don't want you involved. I don't want anyone involved." "Well, I am involved, Grace. And I'm not going to leave here until you tell me what the problem is." "Really? Is that a promise?" Grace asks, surprised. "Of course it is, Grace. Now come on--open up." Grace shakes her head. "Sorry, no can do. I have an all-afternoon meeting. But I'm glad to know you're going to be here until I tell you. That's very sweet. I'll talk to you after the meeting." She runs out.

The phone rings at Nick and Sharon's. Sharon answers. It's Nick, calling from Grace's desk. "Uh, hi, honey. I guess I won't be home as early as I thought--I told Grace I wouldn't leave her office until she told me what was up with her, and--" "--and so you two are in the thick of it," Sharon finishes. "Uh, no. Not quite. Actually, she's out at a business meeting. But she'll be back in a couple hours and we'll be getting back into it then." "Oh. Well, ok. I guess you're right. This thing is important. Well, keep me posted on what happens. I'll see what I can do to pump Tony for the same information." "Great!" Nick says.

Sharon puts the phone down and sits for a moment quietly on the couch looking puzzled. Miguel enters and asks, "Anything I can get for you?" "Miguel," Sharon says, "if you were a man--oh, sorry--I mean, you ARE a man. I mean, you know men. Well, I didn't mean you KNOW them--" He mercifully cuts her off by asking, "You're wondering if I have any ideas about how to get information out of Grace and Tony about what's going on in their lives that's made them act so strangely these last few days?" "That's amazing, Miguel. How did you know that?" "Well, Sharon, a great deal goes on around here. Just because I am never asked to comment does not mean I don't see it happening. We each have our own ways of coping. Since I'm never asked to participate, I pretend it's a huge soap opera and that each day is just a new episode." "That's very interesting, Miguel," says Sharon, getting into the metaphor. "So what do you think happens in this plotline--how do you imagine I'm going to get the information out of Tony? Do I fix him a big yummy dinner and then, when he's perfectly sated, hit him with the hard questions?" "Perhaps," says Miguel, "but perhaps food is not what he's hungriest for." "Miguel! You think I should offer him something else?" "I suppose," says Miguel pensively, "it depends on how important the information is and how quickly you need it." "I see your point," says Sharon. "Thanks. You've been a big help." "I'm happy to be of service, Sharon."

It's later at the Newman house. Sharon is on the phone to Nick. "Ok, honey. I'm sorry you didn't get it out of Grace before she left for the evening... Yes, I know you told her you'd stay until you got the info out of her, but don't you think you should come home? Ok... I'll bring you some fresh clothes and donuts in the morning. Yes, I'll let you know if I get anything out of Tony. ... OK. I love you. ... Bye honey. " She hangs up and goes into Noah's room, pulling out some sheets from a drawer and spreading them out on the bed. She grabs the phone and dials and drags it into the room while she makes up the extra bed. "Tony!" she says when the phone picks up. "Grace dropped by--uh, well, I drove her, I mean--and she--uh,--started to feel a little woozy--tired or something--and so I put her to bed. Now I, uh, have to run out for a while and I was wondering if maybe you could come by and be with Grace, so she... you would? Oh, that's wonderful. I'll leave the door open--just let yourself in. She's asleep in Noah's room."

Tony enters Nick and Sharon's. The house is dark. He makes his way quietly into Noah's room. In the dark, we see a blonde under some covers. Tony takes off his jacket and shoes and slips into the bed. Immediately he says, "Sharon? I'm sorry, I thought you told me Grace was asleep in here." Sharon sits up in bed and turns on a dim light. "Oh, darn. I knew this would never work. Maybe I should have had you have a few beers first so you would have had a better chance of mistaking me for her." "I gotta tell ya something, Sharon," Tony says. "You two may both be blonde knockouts, but it'd take more than a little beer for me not to be able to tell the two of you apart in the dark." "Ohhh," Sharon says, upset. "Now you're not going to tell me..." "Tell you what, Sharon?" "The truth, Tony. Whatever it is that's being hidden." Tony is silent. "The truth," he says finally. "The truth, Tony. Don't you think it's time?" "Alright. Here goes." They each take a deep breath and then he continues.

"What would you say," says Tony, "if I told you I could give you a little girl of your very own." "I'd say your hormones were on overdrive?" Sharon replies uncertainly. "No, I don't mean that way.. I mean fully cooked. Already a little girl." "Tony, you're saying you don't love little Cassie?" "No, it's not that at all." "Then Grace--she doesn't love little Cassie?" "No, no, it's not that either. Grace loves Cassie. I love Cassie. Everyone loves Cassie. But she isn't our kid--she's yours." "Cassie?? She's my little boy or girl?" "Girl, actually." "Oh, right. Sorry, I'm just used to saying it the other way. Wow. I don't know what to say." "Well, you could say you'll marry me," he says. "Marry you? But you're already engaged. And I'm already married." "Yeah, but when Grace finds out I told you, I'll be lucky if she doesn't kill me--she's not going to marry me, that's for sure. And when Nick finds out you have another kid when he's not wanting one..." "I see what you mean, Tony. It doesn't look good for our marriages," Sharon says. "So what now?" Tony asks. "I don't know. I'll have to ask Miguel if he has any more ideas." "Miguel?" "It's a long story, Tony," Sharon says, turning the light back off. "And anyway," she continues, "I'm not done exploring all the ins and outs of his previous suggestion..."

* * *

Trisha and Ryan enter room 301 at the Aspen Hotel. "Wow," Ryan says looking at the view out the window. "Wow," Trisha says, looking at the bed. They each go about unpacking their stuff. Ryan puts up a picture of Nina and Phillip next to his side of the bed. Trisha sets up a picture of her father next to her side.

Keith is pacing his living room. "I can't believe she just left and I didn't get to talk to her." Jill tries to calm him. "Well, Keith, she was very explicit about when she was leaving and you weren't here..." "Meaning what?" "Well, she did WANT to talk to you--you were just out..." "Well, it's not because I didn't care. It's just that I--" "It's ok, Keith. I understand. I think your daughter understands. It's hard for you to stand by and watch while--" "Watch? I'm completely blind here. I--hey, do you have that itinerary Trisha left?" Jill picks up the form from a nearby table and hands it to him. He glances at it and dials a number. "Uh, yes, hello. This is Keith Dennison--my daughter Trisha Dennison should have checked in by now? This trip was a gift from me and I just wanted to make sure everything is going ok. Can you tell me--just because I'm nosy--did she and that overage boyfriend of hers get one or two beds in their room? ... Oh they did. Hmm. ... Well, I wonder--would it be a lot of trouble to--I mean,--what room did you say they were in? 301? Could you maybe send someone over to 201 and see if the ceiling is vibrating--oh, yes, I understand, I guess it is a pretty busy time. Well, thanks anyway." Jill waits patiently as he hangs up. "Just one bed?" He nods sadly.

"Keith, it'll be ok. I gave her condoms before she left," Jill says helpfully. He smiles weakly. "You did? Well, I'm sure that will slow her down. But with Ryan there to help, she's going to figure out how to use them eventually, and then we'll be back to the same old problem." "Keith, I didn't give them to her as a puzzle--I wanted to stop her from getting pregnant ... and from getting AIDS." Keith sighs. He picks up the phone and presses a speed dial button.

Lynne Bassett answers the phone. "Paul Williams Investigations. Oh, hello, Mr. Dennison. Yes, we could--...it is?...well, certainly, I--...right away. Yes, sir." She hangs up.

Paul enters the office in a hurry. "I got here as fast as I could, Lynne. What's up? It sounded important." "It is!" she says. She hands him some tickets. "Plane tickets?" She shakes her head. "More urgent than that. We're told to use the Newman Enterprises teleporter." "Wow! Instantaneous city-to-city transport? Must be important," Paul says. "Try Keith Dennison..." "Of Dennison Vanguard?" "The same--but, of course, Dennison Vanguard was bought by Newman Enterprises last year. That's why we get access to the teleporter." "Cool. And what's the destination?" "Aspen." "We're going skiiing?" "Well, that's our cover. But really we're there to check out Keith's daughter Trisha and her boyfriend Ryan--Ryan McNeil." "Nina's husband?" Paul asks. Lynne nods. "Come on, boss. I'll fill you in from the van. Everything's packed."

In a room 303 at the Aspen Hotel, Lynne and Paul are unpacking. "Just one bed," Paul notes. "Sorry, boss. I didn't have any choice about the room. There was only one next to 301." Paul nods. They pull a lot of high tech gear out of their backpacks. Paul attaches something to the wall and connects it to a TV monitor Lynne is setting up. Lynne runs some cable out to a balcony and sets up a satellite dish while Paul adjusts the set. On the TV, we see the heat outlines of an infrared scan of the next room, where two bodies rest together, sitting up just slightly. "Do you think they've already...?" Lynne asks. Paul says, "Just a second, I'm trying to get some sound..." Suddenly the TV volume comes in and we here the voices of Ryan and Trisha.

"It's really hard!" Trisha says. Lynne picks up a cellular and punches up Keith Dennison. "Dennison here," he answers. "This is Lynne Bassett. We're in Aspen and set up--tune your television to channel 69." Paul looks to Lynne and whispers, "69?" She shrugs and whispers back. "Sorry, boss. It's just that it's an easy number to remember--and sometimes I have to do it upside down, so it's nice to have something that's still easy to read." "Forget I asked," Paul says, shaking his head. "It's coming through, yes. Thank you, Lynne." Lynne says, "We'll let you go now, then. Call us back if you have any problems." "Thanks, Lynne," Keith says.

On the set we see Trisha's vague outline wiggling back and forth. "Just a little more, I think," she says. "Just relax," says Ryan's voice. "Don't try to force it. I know this is your first time, so I have to warn you--it's possible to tear something if you don't do it just right..." "Oh, Ryan," Trisha says, "I love you so much. But what if we can't..." "Don't worry. It's going to be ok. This is NOT my first time, you know. And people have been doing this for ages."

At the Dennison household Jill sits on a couch as Keith paces nearby. "Come on, Keith," Jill says. "Relax!" "Relax?" he asks. "Well, try. He's being gentle with her--now, just relax. Come sit with me. It's actually kind of erotic in a certain way, don't you think? Listening in as a young woman loses her virginity?" "Erotic? That's my daughter..."

Paul sits with Lynne in room 303. Lynne says, "Wow, this is almost as good as those dirty movies they rent here at the hotel, don't you think? And we're getting paid to watch!" Paul says, "Hmm, well, I have to admit--I got into the PI business originally because I had a bit of a voyeuristic streak." "Really?" Lynne said. "Yeah, what got you into it?" "I dunno. I guess I just thought it would be a chance to meet some really interesting people." "And have you?" Paul asks. "Well, I met you..." Lynne says. Suddenly there's a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" Paul says. "It's your mother, Paul. Open up!" Mary says from the hallway. Paul opens the door. "Mom, we're working undercover. Please don't be yelling our names in the hallway." "Why Paul, that's one of the most gracious invitations I've gotten from you recently--yes, I'd be happy to come in," says Mary stepping into the room. She mutters under her breath "Doesn't tell me when he's staying in town, doesn't tell me when he's going out of town. It's like everything he does in his life has to be some kind of little secret." Then more to Paul and Lynne, she says, "Oh, and I see you've got something going on TV. Don't let me interrupt. I'll just listen in and catch up..."

In the other room, over the TV, we hear "It's not working, Ryan. Maybe we should just give up." "Once more, once more," says Ryan. "Maybe just--" There is a sudden squeal from Trisha. The camera cuts quickly to Keith who is sitting on the couch with Jill and covers his eyes groaning. Then it cuts to Mary, who looks uncertainly to Lynne and Paul and says "Paul? Lynne? Now, I don't want to know exactly what this is, but just tell me this--I wouldn't want to be showing this channel to my sewing circle, would I?" Paul shakes his head and says, "Mom, it's not like I invited you over to watch. It's just--" But they are interrupted by the sound on the TV again. "Uh, oh," says Trisha. "I think I tore something." Ryan sighs quite audibly. "That always seems to happen." "Well, now what?" "I usually just give up." "But Jill said we should use them. How can we make love without them?" "It's better without them, actually," Ryan says. [Author's note: This is complete B.S. For more accurate information, readers are recommended to consult someone who is not motivated by trying to get laid.] "But then, if it's better without them, why do you use them?" "I told you--I don't. I never even figured out how to get them on," Ryan says.

In Keith's apartment, Jill and Keith are just coming to the realization that the deed is not yet done. "So they haven't done it," Keith says with some relief. "No, but it sounds like she's about to REALLY make a big mistake." On the TV, we hear Trisha saying, "I thought you said you'd done this before." "Well, I've offered. But someone always eventually tells me we should just not worry about it, and I always agree." "Oh, so that's what I should do now?" There's a pause. In the heat images of Ryan and Trisha on the screen, we see a nod. "Ok, let's just not worry. We love each other anyway, right Ryan? Nothing bad can happen." Ryan makes a quick movement with one hand and we hear a thud, as the condoms presumably hit the trash can.

The camera cuts to Ryan and Trisha's room. Ryan crawls up onto Trisha. "Oh, Ryan, what's that..?" Trisha asks. "Don't worry. It's going to be ok," Ryan says. "I wish my father were here." Trisha says. "I don't think that would help," Ryan says. "It would help me. Oh, Ryan, you changed size. Wow, that's really weird. Are you hurt?" "No, you didn't. But.. Could we-- could you not talk about your dad?" "Ok,..." There's a pause. Ryan's eyes are staring straight into the eyes of Keith in the photo on Trisha's side of the bed. "Uh, Trisha, .... Could we flip down that picture of your father..." "But Ryan, this is supposed to be a loving event. And my father loves me so much. He wanted to be around to say good-bye to me but he coul'n't make it. I thought he'd appreciate being here in spirit..."

"Paul," says Mary, "this is not a movie--these are the images of someone in a nearby room?" Paul nods. "Yes, Mom. We're private investigators. We're investigating." "And they're not married are they?" "Of course not, Mom. What business of anyone's would it be if they were married." Mary's eyes follow the wires to the wall. She gets up and goes out into the hall and bangs on 301. "Hello? Hello in there?" Paul and Lynne follow her out. "Mom!" A blanketed Ryan opens the door and Mary grabs him by the ear and runs him back to the couch in his room where she throws him down. "You should be ashamed of yourself." "Excuse me?" Ryan says. "I don't think I know you." "Well, I'm happy to introduce myself. I'm Mary Williams--I live in Genoa City. We'd probably be better acquainted if you came to church more often. Now did I understand, young man, that you were about to take this woman's virginity WITHOUT the use of condoms?" "Well, I don't see that that's any of your--" But Trisha butts in here, "He said it was actually better that way." Mary rolls her eyes. "Get dressed, young lady. You have been sold a bill of goods... Come on, hurry up. I haven't got all day." "But, but... where are we going?" "I'm taking you to my house in Genoa City. I have some leftover pot roast and a spare bed. You'll be safe there..."

Back in Genoa City, Keith is suddenly very perky. "You know," he says to Jill. "Suddenly I am finding this to be very erotic." Jill looks surprised. "You are?" "Well, my daughter's virginity looks safe for now. And yours is long since lost. So I say, let's make good use of the time until Trisha returns!" He dives at Jill and the two disappear beneath the covers on the couch.

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 80!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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