Episode 64, originally published 19-Sep-97

A Long Story Short

Malcolm, Neil, Dru, Diane, Victor, Nikki, Nick, Sharon, Grace, Tony, Cassie, Noah, Miguel, Ashley, and Jack are coming out of Dr. Josh's office. "Thank you all for coming by," Joshua says. "Yes," says Olivia, "it's so important for everyone to give blood every chance they get." "Well, I'm just sorry I don't do it more often," says Nikki. "Sometimes I get so busy with my charities and my work at the local shelter that I forget to take time out for things like this, too!"

A Red Cross helicopter flies overhead and Kurt parachutes in through an open window. "Yes, one should never find oneself too busy to give blood," he chimes in, as if he'd been part of their discussion all along. "Which way do I go to give?" he asks them. Everyone points him to Joshua's office. "How've you been, Kurt?" Ashley asks. "Just trying to keep busy," Kurt says. "There's so much trouble in the world, and now without Mother Teresa to help, well--it's just upped the workload for the rest of us." He disappears out of sight as Olivia usher's him into Joshua's office. Meanwhile, Joshua taps Victor on the shoulder.

"Yes, my former wife's husband, what is it?" Victor asks. Joshua says, "It's a sensitive matter, Victor. Could I speak to you privately?" Victor looks surprised but shrugs and goes with him into a nearby office. The others look quizzically at each other and mill around waiting for them to return.

Inside the privacy of the office, Joshua explains: "Victor, I did some standard checks on the blood you all donated, and I'm afraid there's an anomaly." "Someone is sick, or what?" "Oh, no, nothing like that. But... well, your son Nicholas--his blood type--Victor, he's not your son. Are you aware of that?" "Of course he's my son, what are you talking about? I've known him since he was a little boy and he came home from the hospital with Nikki and me." "I don't think so, Victor. It can't be. There must have been some foul-up here at the hospital. I'll go back through the old records. But I think your real son is out there somewhere, and Nicholas is ... someone else's." Victor looks stunned and mutters over and over "not'm'boy?" Joshua asks, "Victor, are you all right?" Victor nods. "Of course I'm ahright--but m'boy... where is he? who is he?" "I'll get back to you on that as soon as I know," Joshua says.

Victor is in his office. He looks at his watch. Finally, in comes Nick. "Hi, Dad. Sorry I'm a few hours late. Sharon fixed pancakes this morning and one thing led to another and ... well, I'm sure you know how a healthy home life can make it hard to find the time to work, sometimes." "No, Nicholas, I'm afraid that's not a problem I've ever had," Victor says. The phone rings and Victor answers. "This is Victor Newman," he says into the phone. "Ah, thank you for getting back to me... You do? ... Uh,huh. You don't say... That's really quite extraordinary... Well, I thank you for calling." Victor hangs up the phone and is silent for a long time. "What's up, Dad?" Victor glares at him. "Nicholas, you will no longer address me in this manner, is that understood?" "Oh, right. A little professional distance while you work me up the ranks, huh?" Nick says, laughing.

Victor frowns at Nicholas. "Nicholas," Victor begins. He fumbles for a word. "Boy..." He says finally, as if lost without a good term. "I have something to tell you that may have a profound effect on ... that is, on what we thought ... Boy, there is no easy way to tell you so I'm just gonna have to spit it out, ahright? It has come to my attention that you are not my son." "Whoa, Dad! I know I was a little late on my first day... OK, and today, too. But don't you think disowning me is just a little harsh?" "It's not that, I--" "And I know I haven't really contributed, yet, but I'm sure if you just give me a small company of my own, I can show you--" Victor raises his hand in a `stop' gesture that commands silence. When Nicholas obeys, Victor continues: "You were more than a little late on the first day--you forgot all about it. And today--it's the middle of the afternoon. I must admit, if you were not my son, I would not have put up with it. Indeed, I have often wondered how someone with Newman blood could have done something like that in the first place." "Do what?" Nicholas asks. "Put family above work as you occasionally do. In any case, I now understand that it is not entirely your fault, since I have just learned you are not a Newman at all. Even so, I'm afraid there are certain changes that are gonna have to be made, since you understand I must now make room for my real son who has been denied his place at my side for so long..."

A while later, Victor is once again alone when Ryan enters. "You sent for me, sir?" Ryan says in his usual crisp, will-do way. "Ryan, m'boy, why don't you sit down?" Victor says. Ryan looks surprised at this, but looks around for a chair. Victor leans in and says, "Now... I must ask you a very important question. I realize this is of a very personal nature, but you'll see it's important." Ryan nods. "I'll do my best to be helpful," he says. "I'm sure you will," Victor says with a smile. Then, leaning back in his chair he says, "Ryan, was your marriage to Victoria ever ... consummated?" Ryan is taken quite aback. "I have to admit, that's a pretty darned personal question, sir." "I know it is, Ryan m'boy, and I want you to know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't absolutely necessary." There is silence for a moment as Ryan thinks about what to say. "Well," he begins finally, "the fact is--no, sir, it never was. You see, before we really got a chance to--well, Vikki never wanted to after she saw--" "That's ahright, myboy, I don't need the specifics. I just need to understand the general situation."

"So what you're telling me," Victor continues in his discussion with Ryan, "is that it would have been possible, technically, to have had this marriage annulled." "Well, I suppose--but only if the truth had come out, and ... I loved Vikki, so I didn't want to do that to her." "Well, I can respect that, Ryan, and I'm glad to hear that you love her, but it's for that reason that you'll see it may become important to bring the truth out." Ryan looks confused and alarmed, but says nothing as Victor continues. "You see, m'boy, as it turns out, her instincts were good ... perhaps better than you both then realized." "Mr. Newman, I really don't think it's your place to be advising me on my sex life with your daughter--especially years after the fact." "Well, I think that when I get done, you're going to change your mind on that. You see, m'boy, as your father, it's very much my role to advise you on matters involving ... birds and bees, as it were."

After a long and stunned silence, Ryan responds. "Mr. Newman, I can appreciate your desire to be my mentor, and I know you're really sad with Vikki being out of town for so long and all, but--as a friend, I have to wonder if maybe it's not time for you to take a bit of a vacation..." Victor laughs genuinely. "You do, do you? Well, perhaps there will even be some time for that. But I'm completely serious about the matter of your parentage. I have done some digging, and I have found that a horrible error was made at the hospital years ago, and that the parents who raised you were not your genetic parents." "Error? What kind of error?" "Apparently, you and that boy Nicholas, who I had thought was my son, were switched in the hospital. In effect, you were denied your birthright as a Newman. Now, I feel very sorry about that, and there's very little I can do to make up for the past, but I intend to take all reasonable steps to fix that problem for the future." Ryan is amazed. "All reasonable steps?" "Well, that office that Nicholas just received will be reassigned to you, for example. And if you'd like, I'll see you're set up with a home at the Newman ranch, since there has recently been a vacancy there as well." "But what about Nicholas?" "Well, I'm sure he'll find something--perhaps he'll be interested in moving into your old apartment..." "Well, Mr. Newman, I don't know what to say..." "Ryan, m'boy, it's not like a business deal--family is family. One pretty much has to take them as they are. I hope you'll be able to deal."

On his way through the door of Victor's office, Ryan gets a sudden smile and turns to Victor. "Does this mean I don't have to worry about Keith getting me fired?" he asks. Victor smiles. "You think very strategically, Ryan. I'm going to enjoy having you as my son. Maybe you should pay a visit to our good friend Mr. Dennison and give him the good news personally." Ryan smiles, too. "You think that's appropriate?" "M'boy, there comes a point at which a man must stand tal--uh, must stand up--and take responsibility for his personal affairs." Ryan straightens up and says proudly. "I really appreciate your support, sir. Thank you." He pulls the door closed behind him, and once outside he breathes a big sigh. "Yes!" he exclaims silently.

The next day is Saturday and Nicholas is busy moving into Ryan's old apartment. Sharon brings him a contract to sign. "What's this?" Nick asks. "It's the rental agreement," Sharon explains. "Oh," Nick says, trying to pretend he understands. "What's this part here about payments? Wow, that's a lot of money!" Sharon nods. "Well, apartments are pretty expensive now, I guess. Maybe we should move into something cheaper?" "Nope, I don't care what price it is--nothing but the best for my family," Nicholas says. "Okayyy..." Sharon says uncertainly. "But remember, we won't have your father to be paying the rent for us." "Oh, is that how it got paid before? I was gonna try to find that out." "Why?" Sharon asks. "Do you think we should send a Thank You note?" Nick looks at her like he doesn't know what she's talking about. "No, I was just trying to figure out how we can get the rent paid here. But don't worry--everyone's got parents--so I imagine Ryan had them, too. I'll just call him and ask who HIS parents are, or were. That way, I can call them and let them know that even though they've lost their old son, they shouldn't stop sending rent checks. They'll have a brand new son here ready to receive the checks and to love them just as much as Ryan ever did..."

The following Monday, Nicholas is at Newman Enterprises and he arrives at his [old] office. The sign on the closed door says "Ryan Newman". Nick stops and sighs. "Oh, right. This isn't my office any more. I guess I'll go sit in Ryan's old office for now." He wanders down the hall to where Ryan's office was, but it says "Grace Turner" on the door. "Grace?" he says. She peeks her head out. "Hi, Nicholas," she says. He asks, "What are you doing in this office? I thought this was mine..." "'fraid not," she says. Just then, Victor is walking down the hall, and Grace stops him. "Uh, Mr. Newman, could you help Nicholas find a place to sit?"

"I'm sorry, m'former'boy," Victor explains, "but you will not be having this office." Nicholas is surprised, but like one of those little clown punching bags that is weighted at the base and bounces back quickly when punched, he comes back soon for another round. "That's cool. Where is my office then?" he asks. "Well," says Victor, "that's a bit like a trick question now isn't it because you don't really get an office." Nick is really puzzled now. "But Ryan and I traded," he says. "Yes, m'former'boy, but he was qualified for the new position on his merits, and you, I'm afraid to say, are not." "But my degree--" he starts to say. "About that degree," Victor says. "Colleges do not normally give degrees for a semester or two of work--I'm afraid if you read the fine print on that degree they gave you, you'll see it was a sort of honorary thing they gave you because of your relation to me. Now, I've had a little talk with them and even though you no longer really have that degree, they will credit you for the classes you've taken. And, with luck, in a few years, you could graduate with a REAL degree." "But won't I have to go to class?" "Yes, you will. If you can find the time."

"Now," Victor continues, "as for where you'll be working--we'll be starting you back in the mail room." Nick gets an enlightened look on his face. "Oh, I get it! You want to make it look like I'm working my way back up so it doesn't look like special treatment..." Victor shakes his head. "Well, now, it won't BE special treatment, will it, m'former'boy. Because I'm afraid it's going to take a little longer this time than before since you'll actually be earning your way out of each position. But I'm sure with hard work and determination that you'll eventually find something here besides mail delivery that suits your skills. Stranger things have happened around this place, I can tell you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm a busy man and I must get back to work. Good luck."

Later in the day, Nicholas is roaming the hall delivering mail. Grace sees him and says, "Oh, Nicholas, I was going to mail this to you, but I didn't know where to reach you these days. Since you're working in the mail room, can you just have this stamped and delivered to you wherever?" Nick takes the letter, but doesn't think to open it. "What is it?" he asks. "It's a bill for--well, you should open it." "Open it? I thought you wanted me to mail it!" Nick says. Grace sighs. "It's to YOU, Nicholas." "Oh," he says, finally getting it. He opens the letter and reads. "What's a `Big A' ..." Grace rolls her eyes. "I fell off a ladder, Nicholas--it's for my hospital bills." "I don't get it," he says. "What does that have to do with me?" She growls, "Ohhhhh... Iterminatedmypregnancyok?" He is stunned. "You were pregnant?" She sighs some more. "Look, just be glad it's not a summons for a rape hearing, ok? You tricked me into tricking you into getting me pregnant, if you'll recall! And now I find you've tricked me and you're not really the person I thought I was tricking..." Nick's eyes go ping ponging back and forth as he slowly repeats what she's just said trying to make sense of it. "Never mind why," she says. "Just get me the money, ok?" Nick nods, happy to be freed of the heavy burden of understanding why and left with a simple task he can understand. As he starts to walk away, she blurts out, "Oh, and I'll be by later to drop off Cassie, too...."

Nick turns to Grace. "Cassie? We don't have a ranch any more, so there's no point in bringing her by. We have no horses--we don't even have a Miguel." "Well, that's your problem, sugar," Grace says sarcastically. "Or Sharon's, anyway. She IS Cassie's mother, after all." Nick's eyes bulge. "What ARE you talking about?"

Later that day, at the McNeil apartment, Nicholas sits on the sofa with Cassie and Sharon. Just then, there's a knock on the door. It's Nikki. She's carrying a brown paper bag. "Hello, Nicholas..." she says. "Hi,... Mrs. Landers," he says awkwardly. "It's ok to call me Nikki," she says. After an awkard pause, she continues: "Anyway, I know it's probably being a rough adjustment and I can imagine how much you must miss the ranch and Miguel, so I brought you a little care package--something to eat." She holds up the bag. Nick's eyes light up as if gold had been delivered as he says, "Food from Miguel? Oh, you are an absolute angel!" Sharon throws him an annoyed look and says, "Nicholas--my cooking isn't THAT bad!" Nikki blushes and says, "Actually, it's not from Miguel. I was just at the homeless shelter serving food to the street people, and--amazingly--there was a little left food over. So I thought you might like some. It's mostly stale bread and some cans of expired soup--I don't really know what non-Newmans eat, but I figured it must be something like that." "Well, gee, ... uh, Nikki, ... that's very nice of you," Nick says with a forced smile. Cassie takes the bag and starts looking through it. "Oh boy!" she says. "No donuts or pizza anywhere! Thanks, Mrs. Landers!! This is really wonderful!" she says with sincere enthusiasm.

It's later still. Nikki has gone home, and Sharon has left the room. Cassie and Nick are talking. "It's ok, Nicholas, I know all about being poor. I can teach you," she says helpfully. Sharon enters from another room. "Are you two still here? I thought you were going shopping." "We are," Cassie says, smiling. "We were just leaving!"

Nicholas is obviously not happy about this shopping trip, but he stops again to listen to Cassie's helpful hints anyway before heading into the local convenience store. Cassie says, "Now you go in and say, ``Look, I don't want to be any trouble, but could you spare...'' and then you say what you'd like." "And they just give it to me? With no money?" "Well...." Cassie says. "Sometimes. Usually." Nick nods. "Worth a try..." The camera does not follow them inside. It remains fixed for a few moments on the outside door. Suddenly, a man with a large rifle chases them out of the door. They run a block or so and finally stop around a corner, huffing and puffing. "I don't know what happened, Nicholas," Cassie says apologetically. "When I say it, they almost always give me what I ask for. Maybe next time you should smile more ... and also, I think you should try not to hold their shirt collar quite so tight when you say you don't want to cause any trouble. I think the man was having trouble saying `ok' because he couldn't breathe very well..."

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 65!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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