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Date: 01 Oct 1997 22:46:26 -0400
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#66: "Grate Escapes"
Message-ID: <sfwyb4c9919.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE...
* Why hasn't Jack convinced Diane to leave the `grate man'?
* Will Sarah/Veronica find employment with Nikki a `grate experience'?
* Will Cassie find a way out of those `grate meals' with Tony and Grace?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 66, 02-Oct-97 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Grate Escapes"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diane comes downstairs and sees Victor typing to the computer. "It's late,
Victor. Won't you come to bed?" Victor looks up at her. "Well, I had a bit
of work to do, you know. You run along to bed and I'll be up in a while,
ahright?" He goes back to what he is doing without waiting for any response.
She walks over to look at his console, and he looks up at her. "Is there
something wrong with your hearing?" Victor asks. Diane says to him, "Victor,
even if I hadn't understood what you said, that wouldn't mean anything was
wrong with my hearing. But, no... and there's nothing wrong with my vision,
either. You're not doing work, you're typing on some Internet chat line."
Victor looks indignant. "This is no Internet chat line. Newman Enterprises
is not even ON the Internet," he says with confused pride. She looks again to
the screen. "And I can see why--too much action going on inside the company
for anyone to bother, I suppose. Victor, I can't believe you're typing those
things--you never talk to ME like that."
Victor hunts around for the right key and finally manages to clear the screen.
"So what's your point?" he says to Diane impatiently. "Victor, we are not
going to live this way--with me waiting in the bedroom and you... down here...
doing that." Victor gets angry. "Now, you listen here, Diane Jenkins," he
says. "Newman," she corrects him. "Oh, right. Look, I want you to go
upstairs and put on some clothes and then head over to the office because
while I've been typing away here I've also been thinking that that building
of yours needs to be redesigned by morning again." Diane reaches across him
and grabs the keyboard. The console has text on it again.
Dark_Lady: Are you there? You got all quiet.
Diane types:
* I'm here, but a new game has come along. I have
no further need of you.
Before Victor can do anything, a reply comes back.
Dark_Lady: Oh, you have need. I know you. You didn't get
what you want. You'll be back.
User "Dark_Lady" has quit.
Victor looks stunned, "You can't just do that. You know, that was very rude."
Diane looks at him incredulously. "And telling me that you were up late doing
work wasn't rude? Victor, you amaze me." Victor sighs. "Ahright, I'll be up
in a minute. I have to make one phone call." Diane eyes him suspiciously,
but he is already dialing. Mitchell Sherman answers sleepily, "Hello?"
"Mitch, it's Victor Newman." Satisfied that he is not calling another woman,
Diane leaves the room.
"Victor, it's the middle of the night," Mitchell complains. "I know that,
Mitch, but it can't wait. I need you to arrange a divorce for me." "A
divorce? Victor, the ink's barely dry on your marriage certificate. What are
the grounds?" "Same as always, Mitch, only moreso. I'm bored. But you work
on the wording--that's what I pay you for--to make it sound more formal and
proper." "Bored?" "Yes, you heard me, Mitchell. Have you met the lady? She
is excruciating and it must be ended now. First thing in the morning." "All
right, Victor, but I'm warning you--this one might cost you." "Cost me? I
don't understand. I pay you a fixed salary." "Not me, Victor. Diane! She
might ask for alimony." "She can do that?" "It's done all the time." "But,
I've got so many former wives--none of them have ever asked for alimony."
"I'm still trying to figure that out, Victor. It doesn't make sense to me
either. But look--you've been lucky. And I'm worried your luck is about to
run out." "Well, you do the best you can, Mitch. And I'll work on it from my
end as well." He hangs up.
Joshua sees Veronica sitting on the couch. "Sarah, is something the matter?"
She looks up at him. "I'm afraid so," she says. "I'm having some awful
abdominal cramping, and I..." Joshua nods sympathetically. "If you'd like, I
could give you a courtesy gynecological exam," he says helpfully. "Oh, I
really couldn't impose," Veronica says. "It's no trouble," Joshua says. "I
do it for the family all the time. It's my profession and I enjoy it."
"Well," says Veronica, "if you're sure you wouldn't mind..." She throws
herself back on the couch and flips up her dress. "Go for it," she says.
Joshua takes one glance and gasps, "Veronica!!"
Victor is sitting back in his chair behind his desk reading a report. There
is a knock on the door and he mumbles "Come in." The door opens and the
camera cuts back to Victor still reading. Finally he looks up but, seeing no
one, he repeats more loudly, "Come in!" Cassie, who stands on the other side
of the desk, is obscured by some stacked up files. "I am in, sir." Victor
peers over the top of the desk. "Oh," he says, brightening up a little (as he
always does around children), "hello." She is dressed in a perfectly tailored
business suit. "I've come to apply for a job," she says. Victor smiles with
genuine amusement. "Is that so?" he asks, intrigued. "Yes, sir." "Well,
now, aren't you a little young to be doing that? Don't you have some sort of
school you should be doing?" "Oh, yes, sir! I'll be going to school also.
But I've noticed that you gave Grace Turner a job and she still has plenty of
time to spend around our house. If working people get that much free time,
then I won't have any problem going to school while I'm working, sir." Victor
scribbles a note on his pad to find out about why Grace has so much free time,
but doesn't correct the girl.
Nick enters the room to see Sarah/Veronica with Veronica. He sees "Sarah"
offering herself to Joshua and then Joshua's look of recognition as he knows
the woman. "Hi, doc!" he says. "Nicholas," Joshua says, embarrassed. "I
was just giving Sarah here a courtesy gynecological exam." "Yeah, I saw,"
Nick says. "Looks like you recognized her from someplace else, too. Hey,
could you teach me how to do that?" "Do what?" "Recognize someone--someone
that wasn't my wife I mean--from just a few of their sex organs. I can think
of times when that'd come in real handy." Joshua sighs. "Uh, sure, Nicholas.
Look, Sarah's kind of new here and probably not used to having people walk in
and out while she's being examined." "But--we're family--you do this all the
time," Nicholas says. Joshua gives him a disparaging look and he withdraws
sheepishly.
"So," Victor asks Cassie, "what kind of job do you think you'd want to do
around here, and what are your qualifications?" "Well," she says. "I don't
know for sure. But I know a LOT about business." "You do?" "Yes, sir. Every
time I came to the ranch while Nicholas was in school, he had me play a game
with him where he challenged me to do the homework they'd assigned him and if
it came out the same or better than his, he'd give me a dollar." "And did you
ever see this homework of his?" "Oh, no sir. He said he'd already turned it
in. But he said mine was very good. It was a fun game. Because while I was
playing, I learned about `market value' and I played a game with him where I
pretended it was really the homework he was going to turn in and I tried to
guess how much he'd pay for it." "And did you guess right?" "Mostly. He
always paid what I asked. But the books said that was because I was offering
them at too low a price, so I kept upping it. But then he graduated before I
found out what his limit was." "Well, it sounds like you had a very fun
summer. Did you save up to buy a nice toy or something?" "Oh, no, sir. I
mean--I made a couple thousand dollars. That's how I bought this nice
business suit. But I hear college is going to be very expensive when I grow
up, so I've invested the rest of the money."
"Now, where were we," Joshua says as he turns back to Veronica. She sits back
up. "I thought you'd need a little help recognizing me," she says. "The rest
of me got so beaten up in that car accident I was in..." "Car accident? I
thought you were drowned." "Ancient history," she says. "Anyway, I'm back.
Surprise!" Joshua looks very nervous. "Veronica, if you've come back to make
my life hell..." She gets a devilish smile on her face. "Me? Ok, well, I
actually had hoped to see how you were doing and find some way to pay you back
for all you'd done to me... but you know what? I've seen that lady you live
with... what a--well, she's not very pleasant to be around. Always whining
orders at the help because she can't be othered to turn the page of her own
magazine or to pour herself a glass of water when the pitcher is right there
in the room. I can only imagine how unresponsive she must be in bed."
"Excuse me just a moment, will you?" Victor asks Cassie. "Oh, certainly!" she
says as she takes a seat on the couch and pulls out a book on advanced
marketing strategies to read. Victor punches a button on the phone and says,
"Connie, get me JackAbbott, ahright?" "He's right here, sir. He's been
waiting." "Well, send him in," Victor says. Immediately, Jack enters and
nods to Victor and Cassie. "Jack," Victor says, "You know I've just asked you
to take on m'boy's education here in the business." Jack stops him and says,
"Say no more, Victor. I ran into Cassie on the way in and I was thinking the
same thing. She's young, but she's very bright. Why not have me teach her at
the same time?" Victor chuckles one of those inscrutible chuckles that says
Jack is on the wrong track. "No, Jack, actually I have rather a different
plan to propose. I've decided you will NOT be managing m'boy's on-the-job
education after all. I'm going to appoint young Cassidy here to Director of
Executive Training and put her in charge of Nicholas." "But Victor, where
does that leave me?" "Back to what you usually do, I suppose. Trying to
steal my wife, for example. Now you've not been moving very quickly on the
matter, so now that I've opened up more time for you, I expect to see some
results, ahright? I don't know how much more I can take!"
Joshua gives Veronica an irritated look. "I've had enough of this. You're
fired." She doesn't bat an eye. "Not so fast, Joshua," she says. "You
wouldn't want your nice new RICH wife to know that the former wife that you'd
beaten and left for dead was back in town, would you?" "I never beat you!"
"Well, ok, so I embellished the story a little--who's she going to believe?
You or a corpse? I think she'll be pretty upset if she finds out I'm around
at all, don't you? Or are you eager to get back to dating all those
pretty.... faces... that come through your office?" He is silent for a
moment. Then he says, "Look, Veronica, if you're not planning some scheme,
why are you still here?" She laughs. "Oh, Joshua. You haven't changed. You
still think you're the center of the world. You want everything to be about
you--but it's not! I came here to pay you back, and I found the best way to
do that--to leave you to suffer as you left me. There are other fish in the
sea, you know, and not all of them shrimps like you... for example, that stud
Miguel--now THERE'S a man! And you're gonna help me get him..."
Jack turns to Cassie. "Ok, kiddo, let's go get you your new office." "That
would be wonderful. But I don't think you're allowed to call me kiddo while
we're at work, sir. It's not professional-sounding," she explains. Jack
smiles. "Yes, ma'am!" he says crisply. "Oh, I had a question," Cassie says.
"Shoot." "Well, is there a company cafeteria?" "There is, though the
executive staff usually eats out. We all have expense accounts." Cassie's
eyes get big. "Wow!" Then she gets nervous. "You don't go to that pizza
place, do you?" "Nope. Usually to Gina's or the Colonnade Room." "Wow. And
I can get things besides brownies?" "I thought it was pizza you were worried
about." "Well, it used to be. But Tony decided that I'd been eating too much
pizza and donuts. Now he makes brownies all the time." "Brownies? Donuts?
That's not food for a growing gi--uh, for a rising business executive. What
do you want instead?" "I want Power Salads with carrots and tomatoes and ..."
"Well, we'll see what we can do..." "Oh, good. 'Cuz those brownies are
really getting tiring. But Tony says it's good for me. He says it's good to
have `three squares a day'... so I have a brownie for breakfast, a brownie for
lunch, and a brownie for dinner. But if Millie was here, she'd say I was
going to turn into a brownie." "Well, if you ever really want to be a
brownie, I think you can just go down to the Girl Scout headquarters and
enroll. For now, let's see about turning you into a salad instead..." "Oh,
boy!" she squeals. "Hey!" Jack admonishes her playfully. "If I can't call
you kiddo, you can't call me `boy'... it's not professional." She giggles and
the two exit for lunch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1997 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!