Episode 63, originally published 14-Sep-97

Family Matters

Dr. Kline greets Neil in his office. "Neil, good to see you again. How's it hanging, eh?" "Well, doc," Neil says, "I guess you'd know that better than me--that's what those tests I was taking are all about, right?" "Well, actually, Neil--we here at the Clinic like to separate the issue of how one's sex life is from how able one is to have children. Sometimes one can have an extremely satisfying sex life when there's no chance of any pregnancy." "Well, that's true, doc, but I've gotten pretty used to having both, ya know. You should see my daughter Lily. She's such a joy in my life. And she's been asking for a little brother, so I just wanted to double-check that all my little swimmers are towing their own weight, if you know what I mean." "Yes, you mentioned Lily before... let me ask you, is Lily by any chance your wife's child from a previous marriage?" "No way, doc! If you saw how pretty and smart she was you'd know right away she's 100% Winters. Pride of my life." The doctor shakes his head. "Well, Neil, I just don't know how to tell you this but--" "Tell me? Tell me what? Something's happened? You're telling me I can't have any more kids?"

The doctor is silent for a moment. Neil continues. "No, doc, that can't be. Look, I know Olivia said you were the best there is, and I don't mean any disrespect, but just look at how Lily came out--and you're trying to tell me that something's happened, just in the last year, that..." "No, no, that's really not what I'm trying to tell you, Mr. Winters. I'm afraid it's more complicated..." "Oh, you mean like I'm gonna have to take a bit more Vitamin E or something like that. Well, don't you worry about that--I can do it." "It's not that, Neil. I guess there's not a simple way to break this to you, but: you've got a rare genetic disorder that has rendered you sterile from birth. Neil, you can't have any kids, and never could." "What? Well, that's impossible. I mean--look at Lily--she's ..." "Not yours, Neil. She can't be. It's a genetic impossibility. If you'd like, we can bring her in for a DNA test to confirm that. But I'm sure the tests will only confirm what we already know." "Not my child? That can't be. That would have to mean... Dru... I mean, she's the mother--I watched her. She's the mother. But I'm not the father? Oh no. I can't take this. I've gotta go..." "Mr. Winters, it'd be better if--" But Neil has gone.

Ryan is sitting in his office looking upset when Jill enters. "Now what's up, Ryan?" "Jill, I just can't figure out what to do. I've left my wife and I just can't bring myself to interfere with Trisha's life either. I am so wound up tight I can't stand it. And now Keith's mad at me because he THINKS I'm chasing Trisha or about to and he doesn't even care what the real trtuh is. I feel like I'm going to explode." Jill nods. "I'm so sorry, Ryan. I tried to get Keith to see reason on that." "What happened?" "Well, we had some words and he about bit my head off. It was very unpleasant." "Well, nothing personal, Jill, but I don't know WHAT you see in that guy..." Jill sighs. "I THOUGHT I saw in him a level head like John used to have when I fell in love with him, but lately he's been about as off the wall as John was when I left him, so I don't know. I get lonely sometimes, too, Ryan." Ryan looks at her, sorry to have started her on a topic she finds so depressing. "Look, Jill, uh, would you be interested in some dinner later?" Jill says, "Actually, Ryan, I think that would be wonderful--if you wouldn't mind." Ryan shakes his head. "No, I wouldn't mind at all. I think a little nice food and some good wine with a friend would be just the thing." Jill says, "Good. Gina's at 6pm?" "I'll be there," he replies.

Malcolm comes into Neil's office, unsuspecting. "Yo, bro, what's yo' cho'?" Neil looks up at him. "Cho? Oh, right, `chore'. Well, I'm going through my datebook for the time nine months before Lily was born, hoping to find some clue. I used to keep really good track of ... hey, look at this, I was out of town, and Dru was home sick. It says I called you and had you go check on her." Malcolm whips out a copy of TV Guide from his back pocket and points to an interview with Bill Bell. "Hey, nothin' doin'--I ain't takin' that rap. Look here it says in this interview that Bill Bell and I were havin' dinner in LA that evening and so there's my alibi. It says here in black and white that I'm not gonna be takin' the heat for bein' Lily's father."

Nina answers the door. It's Keith. "Mr. Dennison!" she says, surprised. "Keith, if you don't mind," he replies. "Might I come in?" "You can, but I can tell you now, Ryan's not here." She shows him in. "I didn't really expect that he would be here," Keith says. He continues: "I just came because--well, I don't know why I came. I'm just trying to figure out some way to keep Ryan away from my daughter." "Well, I'm not so sure that's possible," Nina says. "When Ryan wants something, he goes after it. Can I offer you some tea or something?" "Tea would be delightful, thank you," he responds.

"Gimme that," Neil says, grabbing the TV Guide from Malcolm. "What is this? This TV Guide was dated months ago. Why would he have wanted to mention you had an alibi way back then when I only found out Lily's paternity was in question now?" "You don't know who Bill Bell is, man? Boy, you are in need of some SERIOUS Sunday School, lemme tell you. He is only THE creator of this whole soap we're on!" "Soap?" "Yeah, Soap. It's called ``Just My Children'' or ``My Own Little World'' or somethin' like that--how should I know--I don't watch that sissy stuff. But anyway, if he says I didn't do it, I didn't do it." "All right, look, if he says you didn't do it, then who DID do it?" "I dunno--maybe He did it. He Is the Creator, after all. An' I know it looks like immaculate conception at this point, but Creators have a history of doin' things like that every millenium or two--or at least o' saying they did--just to get somebody out of hot water." "I dunno, it sounds a bit farfetched," Neil says.

Malcolm shakes his head as if Neil's still not getting it. "Not so farfetched--ever been out to the Newman estate?" "Yeah, once or twice. Why?" "Well, I hear there's a butler there who's always run the whole show..." "Yeah," says Neil. "Miguel." "Right, Miguel. But just recently, there was another housekeeper--Ellie." "So? The Newmans got a lot goin' on--maybe they needed another housekeeper." "Not just now--but she's ALWAYS been there!" "Always? Like in the past?" Neil looks VERY skeptical now. "Malcolm, this is sounding more and more like the Twilight Zone or the X-Files. Daytime drama does not work like you're describing." Malcolm sighs. "Ok, you just go ahead and try 'n' pin that birth on me raping Drucilla--it ain't gonna work." "Raping? It wasn't voluntary?" "Look, it didn't happen, so just give it up, Neil."

"If I may ask," Keith calls to Nina as she heads for the kitchen, "what is it that drove you and your husband apart?" He glances around the room while she is gone. It is nicely kept up. [Author's note: There is no hint here of the ridiculous and unmotivated pit of slime the show has unacceptably presented Nina as wallowing in.] "I just don't know," Nina says, reentering. "Seven year itch, I suppose. It seemed to come out of nowhere." She places a tray of tea in front of him. "You're a beautiful woman and you keep a very nice house. I understand you're set for money...?" She nods. "My late husband Phillip Chancellor died in a car accident, but he left me very well taken care of." "Chancellor?" Keith says, with obvious respect. He wanders the room and stops to glance at the laptop. Nina notices him and volunteers: "I'm a writer, but I haven't written for a while. A friend of mine stopped by and forced me to write something or she said she wouldn't leave. Just ignore it." He continues to stare at the screen muttering "This is really quite good." Then he finally reads aloud:

Something pulsed through my veins like I have never felt. It wasn't blood, I was sure of that. Blood never filled me like this. No, this was rage. This woman before me, who is she? She calls herself my friend. And she looks so familiar. But she is a stranger to me. I see her now as I have never seen her. A self-righteous, cruel person. She chains me to the chair--not with links of iron but with strings of words, but I am bound just the same. She will not leave until I write? Ha! I'll play that game, but woe is she if she dares read what I have written because then she'll know my heart. Snap. Something has snapped. She is not my friend and I'll brook no more of her cruelty. It's time someone put this princess of virtue in her place and here before you is the true story of just what I did to finally restore justice to the world. Yes, my royal friend, you may eat cake. Eat all the cake in the world. Grow big and large from all the cake you eat. See how it feels. And when your body is as big as your ego, watch me transform you from royalty to a pauper
... Pop!

"Wow, that sounds like the start of an amazing story--I bet people would pay a lot to hear the full tale," he says encouragingly. She smiles, and he adds: "You're sure it was a friend you were writing about?" She nods, "Sort of." "Well, let's hope I never find myself on your `enemies list,'" he says. Nina smiles some more and asks, "The way you're raising my spirits just being here? I don't think so. Say, you wouldn't want to stay for dinner, would you? I always fix an extra place and I'm getting a little tired of throwing it away." Then suddenly her voice falls and says, "Oh, but Jill's probably expecting you..." "Actually," he says, "Jill and I are ... a bit at odds over this Ryan matter right now. I don't think she and I will be having dinner tonight. So I'd love to--if it's not any trouble." "No," says Nina. "No trouble at all." Then she quickly replaces his cup of tea with a wine glass.

Neil comes walking into Ryan's office but he's not there. Trisha sits in his chair crying. "Hello," says Neil. "You're looking like I feel," he confesses to her. Trish looks up surprised. "Oh, I'm sorry--I didn't know anyone was going to come in here," she says. Neil hands her a heavy-duty handkerchief to dry her eyes. "Thanks," she says, soaking it thoroughly in an attempt to wipe her face. "What's up?" he says. "Not very much," Trish replies. Neil asks, "Wanna talk about it?" "I don't think anyone could ever understand. It just hurts so much," she says. Neil says matter-of-factly, "I learned today that my child was fathered by someone else." Trish stops and mulls the offering. "Ok," she says, "You win. It probably doesn't hurt that bad... but ALMOST." Neil smiles. "I take it you're Trisha and that you've just learned Ryan has gone back to his wife or something?" "No, Ryan broke up with his wife. But he's not here and his desk calendar says `Dinner and drinks with Jill at 6pm.'" "Bummer," says Neil. Then he adds: "Well, I'm not planning on going home to my wife quite yet--still have some things to sort out. Any chance you'd wanna continue this cheery conversation over a bite to eat?" Trisha forces a smile through the tears. "Ok, sure. I didn't get your name?" "Oh, I'm Neil Winters. I'm Vice President of Marketing here at Jabot. Ryan used to work for me a long time ago." Trish brightens. "Cool!" she says.

In the hall outside the bathoom at the Dennison residence, Keith knocks on the door. "It's Keith," he says. A voice from inside says, "Just a minute, sir." "Ryan?" Keith says. Jill walks up behind Keith. "Yes, it's Ryan," she replies in an annoyed tone. Keith says, "What are you doing bringing Ryan over to MY house?" Jill says, "It's MY house, too, Keith. It's not like I have any other place to go. And when *I* got home, who do you think *I* found tying up the bathroom?" "Nina?" Keith says meekly. "Exactly," Jill says a little annoyed. "And it's a damned good thing that Ryan had a cell phone in his car and that I could ask him back tonight after he dropped me off from dinner because if I'd had to sleep alone while you were fooling around I'd have been pretty damned annoyed." Before he can say anything, Trisha comes up the stairs with Neil.

"Hi, Dad. Hi, Jill," Trish says to the two of them. "I want you to know I took your advice and I stayed away from Ryan. Meet my new boyfriend, Neil." Keith glares at Neil. "Trisha," Keith says sternly. "This man is bl... bl.... married," he finally says. Neil butts in with an explanation, "Well, you see, sir, I just learned today that my wife's child is not mine, and I'm--well, I'm not really feeling as married tonight as I usually am. Perhaps you can understand..." Keith is furious, "Now Trisha, I want you back with Ryan right away!" "No way, Dad. You asked me to stay away from him and--" Ryan comes out of the bedroom. "Who's next?" he asks.

Nina comes out of Keith's bedroom pushing past everyone to get into the bathroom. "You invited Nina and Ryan to come stay with us?" Trisha asks, disgusted and confused. "Not exactly, honey," Jill explains. "Ryan is here with me." "With you?" Trisha asks. "Then who's Nina... " she trails off. Megan enters and says "Gee, Dad, don't you think Nina's a little `young' for you?" "Bite your tongue," Keith says to Megan. "I won't tolerate such insolence from my daughters. Where are you off to, anyway?" "Just have some stuff to do on the computer, that's all, Dad." she says with a wink to Jill. Jill catches the gesture but is not in a position to say anything. "That's my girl," says Keith. "At least there's one sane Dennison in the bunch. Have a good time on the computer, sweetie," Keith says. "Oh, I always do, Dad. Don't worry..."

Victor's house. Late at night. Victor is looking over some charts on the computer. Suddenly he sees a message that says "YOU HAVE MAIL." He types "mail" to see what that's about.

  > mail
  From Dark_Lady, sent 3 minutes ago:
  Meet me at the chat room now, big boy, 
  or you'll wish you had.

"Are you coming to bed?" Diane asks. "You go on without me, ahright?" Victor says. "It seems I have some matters of utmost importance that I must deal with before the night is out." "Okay," Diane says with a pout. "But don't work too hard!" she says. "I'll try not to," he mutters.

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 64!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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