Episode 39, originally published 02-May-97

By The Book

The phone rings at Grace's. Tony is asleep on the couch in his clothes. He scrambles for the phone. "Hello?" "It's me--Grace." "Grace, where in the world ARE you? You were supposed to be back last night!" he chides her. "I couldn't do it, Tony." "Yes, I know you couldn't do it. That's why you still have the kid. But Grace, I'm tellin' ya, you gotta!" "I don't have the kid any more, Tony... You do." Tony momentarily confused. "I do? But you're coming back for her, right?" His confusion shifts to worry as she clarifies: "No, Tony, I'm not. You're much better with her than I ever was anyway. Good luck--." "Grace, wait a minute, where ARE you?" "I flew to Seattle. I'm going to be here with Sharon and Nick. And you see, don't you? Cassie can't be here. So you'll have to watch over her now. Bye, Tony."

Having followed Kurt back to Cape Cod, Ashley perches herself among some bushes, peering into the window of the restaurant portion of a building that a nearby neon sign identifies as the Lucky Lobster Inn. Inside, he sees Kurt seated at a bar, eying an attractive woman who is sitting alone. Ashley squints to get a good look. Satisfying herself that she has never seen the woman before, she ponders, "I wonder who THAT could be and why he has such an interest in her...?" As she watches, the woman gets up--presumably to go to the powder room. When she does, Kurt saunters by her table and, checking that no one is watching, pulls something from his shirt pocket and sticks it into the woman's food. Ashley can make no sense of this at all. "What could that have been? A drug of some kind?" she asks with some alarm. "What kind of man is Kurt? What have I gotten into?" Kurt returns to his seat and watches the empty table, expectantly.

There's a knock on the door of Nick's hotel room. Nick is walking around kicking furniture. He doesn't notice the door over the other noise he is making. Another knock. "Nick, are you all right?" comes Grace's voice from outside. He comes to the door, blushing slightly. "Oh, hi, Grace." Grace peers into the room and sees that it is partially destroyed. "Looks like you were in some sort of fight," she says. "I was, but not here," he explains. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks. "It's a long story," Nick sighs. She pushes a suitcase through the door. "I have time," she says smiling.

Back at the Lucky Lobster, Ashley continues to watch Kurt, who is watching the empty table. In this moment, the woman returns. "I wonder if I should warn her," Ashley says to herself, worried. But before she can make a move, Ashley sees the woman siezing up and falling to the floor. Unable to watch further, Ashley runs to a pay phone and calls 911 to anonymously report the poisoning. Then she sneaks back into the shadows and starts pacing in the dark. "What could he have been doing? ... And who was that woman? ... Maybe there's some clue in his room," she says to herself. Under cover of darkness and the blaring of approaching sirens, she moves around the building to a window outside another room she has previously identified as his. She sniffs the window and then sprays a little cologne on her wrist to compare. "Yes, this is the one I marked," she mutters. "Well, with the police coming, he'll have a lot of explaining to do. I should have plenty of time," she says. And so she pries the window open and climbs in.

In Nick's hotel, time has passed. Grace is wearing just a robe and Nick is (appropriately enough) in "boxer shorts". "I'm sorry they were so insulting to you, Nick. But it sounds like you really put them in their place," she says, trying to prop up his ego. "You think?" he says, eager to be swayed back into believing he's the world's best. "Oh, definitely," she says. She pushes him back onto the bed, which shows signs that this is not the first time. "It's so good to have some time alone with you again, Nick. I've missed you so much since that time we had in the snow," she says in reference to an event from Episode 25. "Really?" he says. "Cool!" She giggles. "Oh, Nicholas--I said snow and you said `cool'. You are just so witty!" she gushes, laying it on thick.

One by one, Ashley goes through Kurt's bureau drawers. But before she finds anything, she hears a key in the door and she freezes. Kurt enters. "Hello," she says nervously. He seems unsurprised to see her. "I figured you'd be here," he says. "You did?" she asks surprised. "You've tracked me for months Ashley, so I know you're never far. I figured it must have been you who called 911." "Then you know I saw you poisoning that woman!" Ashley says. "Poisoning?" he asks. "Is that what you think happened?" He laughs. "Well, I--I saw you put something in her food and--" The phone rings. "Hello? ... She's going to be fine? That's wonderful. ... No, really--I was just doing what anyone would do.... Well, thank you. Tell her I'll check in on her and maybe we can go out on a date sometime... Thanks." He hangs up and Ashley just stares. "Kurt! What IS going on? First I think you poisoned that woman, now it's sounding like you saved her..." Kurt sighs and goes to a drawer. He pulls out a book.

Nick is walking into the lobby of his hotel when confronted by a policeman. "Nicholas Newman?" the man asks. Nick nods, "That's me, though I'm not sure I want to be known by that name." "I'll bet not," says the policeman as he slaps cuffs on him. "But it's a little too late to be taking on an alias," the policeman smirks. "Wait! What?" Nick asks, even more confused than usual. "You're under arrest for the murder of a Mr. Barrington. Witnesses saw you attack him yesterday." "I--I did, but I was escorted out before--" "Uh, huh. But not very happy with the outcome?" "Of course not," Nick says. "Do you know what he did to me?" "Probably not as bad as you did to him when you came back at 3am and shot him!" the policeman says.

Tony stands in front of Sharon's house. He points to a large porch swing. "You sit right here, Cassie, ok?" She nods. "I don't want to be any trouble," she says. "Good girl," Tony says. Then he knocks on the door and, hearing Sharon's cry of "Come in, it's open" he goes ahead inside. "You really should lock your door," Tony chides her. "I could be a real lowlife," Tony says. "You're not?" she kids him. "Ok, ok. I guess I asked for that," he says. "So where's Grace?" Sharon asks. "She's ... away," he responds evasively. "Well, what brings you by?" "I have a ... well, it's like a surprise ..." he says awkwardly. "And I'm not sure exactly how you're going to take it so maybe you should sit down." "Okaaayy..." she says, and sits.

Cricket is with Danny at the Romalatti residence. "So you're sure they're out?" Cricket asks Danny. Danny nods, "So what did you want to show me?" "Well," says the Bug, "not show you--play for you." She plays the tape of Phyllis admitting she despises Cricket and will never trust her. Danny nods, bored. "Just fast-forward to the surprising part," he says. Cricket bristles. "You're not surprised by that?" "That she feels threatened by you and annoyed at you? Why should I be--especially if you're running around taping her behind her back, just like she always imagines you're doing. Maybe her worries are justified..." "Ooooo!!" Cricket growls angrily as she huffs out. Danny just sits there after she leaves. "Was it something I said?" he wonders.

"Do you remember a long time ago, a guy in Madison named Frank...." Tony quizzes Sharon. She is surprised at the question. "*I* remember! How do YOU know about that? Has he been talking---" Tony shushes her. "Calm down now. No, it's nothing like that. Look, this is a little hard to explain, so I'm just going to drop it on you: the adoption you arranged was a phony, and there's a little girl outside that needs you very much..." "A girl?" Sharon asks, astonished, starting to tear. "Your daughter," Tony says. "And does SHE know?" Sharon has the sensitivity to ask. "Not yet," says Tony. "You might want to break it to her a little more gently than I did...." Sharon grabs a kleenex and wipes her now-flowing tears. "Lead on," she says. Tony goes to the porch and yells "Come in, Cassie." "I don't want to be any trouble," the girls says. "You won't be," says Tony. "Unless you don't come in." She comes racing in. "Cassie, this is Sharon," Tony says. Cassie extends her hand and says "I don't want to be any trouble." "Oh, you're not!" Sharon says excitedly. She turns to the window and says to herself, "Uh, oh. How can I tell Nick about this? This little girl is going to be trouble! This will break up our marriage for sure!"

In Seattle, Nick paces his cell. "So, they think I did it. And they have every reason--I acted like a horse's--well, probably like a whole horse... But if I tell them my alibi at 3am was with Grace, what will Sharon say? This will break up our marriage for sure!"

Victor, wearing his black leather rescue jacket, sits looking out the window of his jet on the way back to Genoa City. "Well, well, well, my boy, ..." Victor mumbles to himself. "You may be moving to Seattle but at least I've saved you from the dangers that Barrington creep might have posed for you there. We may not exactly be speaking to one another right now, you and I, but one day you'll see that blood--" He pauses, noticing a spot of it on the wrist of his jacket. He licks his finger and rubs it clean, then he continues his mumbling. "--blood runs thick in this family... much thicker than water... and that last night I did you a great service--the greatest service a man can offer to a son he loves. I only wish I could be there to celebrate your good fortune with you."

Ashley looks at the book Kurt has given her and reads the cover aloud. "101 Unique Opening Lines Guaranteed To Help You Pick Up Women," she says. "I don't understand," she protests. "Page 37," he says in a resigned tone. She flips to that page. "Rescuing her from a staged rape by the pond--" she starts to read. "Oops, sorry! Wrong chapter," he says hastily. "Try page 54." She shrugs and turns to the new page. She reads aloud again, "Playing Doctor?" He nods. She reads more, "This scenario takes a few days to play out but is sure to endear your woman to you for life. Instructions: 1. Sneak a small obstruction into her food. 2. Wait for her to choke. 3. Perform an emergency tracheotomy (see diagram opposite). Saving her life will make a surefire bond. " Ashley looks up at Kurt. "You're not a doctor?" "I never said that I was," Kurt explains. "Everyone just assumed it. I was just following instructions." "But they said you were so expert at it!" Ashley says. Kurt shrugs. "There's a good reason for that," he says. "Oh yeah? What?" she asks, disbelieving. "Practice," he replies with a grin. "Years of practice."

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 40!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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