Episode 30, originally published 24-Mar-97

The Young and the Rescue, 911

Kurt sits staring at the letter from his wife, tears in his eyes. Gradually, his sadness turns to anger as he grits his teeth and pulls out a lighter and sets the corner of the pages on fire. `The paper is a metaphor for my life,' Kurt says to himself philosophically. `The flame is a metaphor for Grant Long,' he thinks again, `chewing up my hopes and dreams.' He focuses on the word "Linda" and the flame seems to know. `The flame is a shark as it circles its prey,' Kurt thinks to himself as the flame circumscribes Linda's name. `The flame is--ouch! the flame just burnt my hand. Now the desk is on fire. A metaphor for the insidious way in which Grant's evil deeds reach out from the grave to affect--no, more than a metaphor--a reason to call 911. This page-burning thing seemed very dramatic at the time but maybe it was ill-advised! Yes, definitely ill-advised. The sort of thing that looks good when you see it on television, but doesn't play out well in practice.' "Hello? 911? Uh, the library in my mansion seems to be on fire..." Kurt explains, red-faced (both from embarrassment and the raging heat of the fire he has stupidly set in a room full of paper).

Victor enters the nursery where Noah is on a respirator. He is carrying a large bag. Seeing him enter, a nurse walks up and scolds him. "You can't go in there." "Yes, I can. Do you know who I am? I am Victor Newman." "I'm sorry, but I never heard of you and you're really not supposed to be here." Victor reaches into the bag and pulls out some boxing gloves. "Haven't heard of me, huh? Well, I'll tell you about me. I'm the best boxer in Genoa City, how about that? Want to try me?" The Nurse is stunned, but not from any blow Victor might be threatening--the look of Victor trying to inject himself by physical force is enough to let her know she is out of her depth and she flees.

Outside the burned ruins of what was his house, Kurt stands and watches the firemen spraying the land down with water. Helen smiles and pats Kurt on the back. "I guess I should go remove that offer to sell from the newspaper," she says. "Or you could change it to say `Open House'," Ashley says, trying to sound helpful. Kurt glares at her. "Ashley, will you PLEASE go back to Genoa City?" Kurt says. "But you need me Kurt," Ashley says. "I have all the ashes I can handle right now, thank you. Now go!" Though she sighs and heads for her rented car, we somehow know she isn't really going back to GC that easily. Still, our thumbs are grateful for the reprieve as they relax their hold on the FF button for the moment.

Phyllis is in the bedroom and Danny enters. "Oh, Danny, I thought they'd NEVER leave. But now we have the place all to ourselves..." "Phyllis,--" "Why don't we take a nice long shower together and--" "Phyllis. I can't do it." "The shower?" "No, the marriage." "I don't get it, Danny. We just got married. We've never been happier. Now all of a sudden you've changed?" "It's not me, Phyllis--it's you. You've changed." "Overnight?" "Kind of. Oh, I dunno. It's like we went away on this trip and when we came back..." "I was suddenly different?" "That's right." "Do I look different?" "Well, yes, and no... oh, Phyllis I can't explain it. I just want out. I don't love you any more. You're not the woman I married." Phyllis starts to cry and runs out of the apartment.

Back in the nursery, we see Victor walking up and down the aisles looking for Noah. Another Nurse walks up. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave, sir." "You can't ask me to leave. I'm Victor Newman." "I'm sorry, but only authorized personnel are allowed in here." "Don't you tell me that. I know that. And I assure you I *am* authorized." "But you don't even know what you're doing." "Of course I do--I'm looking for m'boy's boy. Noah. He'll be the one with two of every stuffed animal surrounding his little ark--ah, there he is." Victor proceeds down the aisle. "Now leave me alone or I'll have you fired," Victor calls to the nurse as he stops to visit with his grandson.

Rachel Long walks by. "Life has not dealt you a fair hand of late, has it?" Kurt looks up. "Hello again--Rachel, is it?" "That's right. Grant Long's wife. He never did say what business the two of you had together." "Well, far be it from me to violate his confidence," Kurt says, evading the question. "Where will you go?" she asks. "I hadn't really thought about it. First things first--I think I'll probably look for a place to eat. It's been a while since I did, and all I've had today is a bit of toast. I just noticed I'm pretty hungry." "Oh, please, allow me to fix you something at my house--it's the least I could do." "Well, I wouldn't want to impose." "It's no imposition. Besides, Grant and the kids are off on a camping trip this week, and it'll be lonely at the house without them."

The Studio. Malcolm is playing with his camera. Phyllis runs in. "Malcolm!" "Yeah, that's me. What can I do for you?" "Malcolm, it's me, Phyllis." "Phyllis? Hey, either you're tripping or you done gone and done one serious methuselah number on me 'cuz you look a lot older than the Phyllis I remember." "Malcolm, I never imagined you'd--" "Hey, sister, it's nothin' personal. I'd be happy to, you know, hang out 'n' all but this is a cutthroat business and, well, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cancel your modeling contracts. Sorry, girl. If I were you and I wanted to stay in the biz, I'd see if I could get one of those mud baths and maybe do it in like, Noxema or something. Hey, ya never know... It might work--stranger things have happened around this place, I can tell you that." Phyllis is again in tears and rushes out.

Rachel and Kurt enter the stately Long residence. As they do, they see Grant Long and his kids coming down the stairs carrying backpacks and other camping equipment. "Bye, Mom!" the kids say cheerfully as they race out to the car. Grant lingers a moment and eyes Kurt nervously. "Mr. Costner's house burned down this afternoon, dear." Grant feigns sadness over the event. "Terrible. So many memories," he says, no doubt referring more to his own memories than Kurt's. Kurt, conscious of the innuendo, stares coldly back at him and says, "Memories that will haunt me forever." Rachel is oblivious to the sparring carried in the ambiguity of their words. "Well, perhaps it will help to take a few moments away from those memories. I'll fix you a nice home-cooked meal. I'm sure there's something here that can take your mind off of your loss, even if only briefly."

"Hold your glove up higher. You need to protect your little head. No, block when I swing at you. When you get bigger, you're going to be glad I taught you all of this. You'll see. No, no--don't swallow it!" Victor looks down at the child in the incubator with disappointment. "Maybe you're a little young for this, m'boy. You just wait here a moment, ahright--I'll get someone to help." Victor walks away and tries to wave a nurse over. "Excuse, me, but my grandson seems to have swallowed something he shouldn't have. I wondered if you'd--" "You had him exposed to the air? He's fighting for his life! The only ones allowed in are supposed to be wearing special suits and gloves." Victor looks insulted. "You think I don't know these things? This suit is hand made in Italy. It is as special a suit as money can buy. And we were wearing gloves! Very special ones. It was extraordinarily difficult to find boxing gloves for a newborn. But since, as you say, he has to fight for his existence, I felt it important to offer him some tips on how to do that. How was I to know he would try to eat one of his gloves." They are distracted from their sparring by the voice of a doctor who has passed them and moved to the child. "It's too late, I'm afraid. While you're over there talking, this child has died. He seems to have choked on a miniature boxing glove," she says, somewhat surprised. Victor glares at the nurse he's been arguing with and says, "Do you see what you've done! Your impertinent questions have kept you from attending to the needs of my grandchild. I shall never forgive this. Never. His death is on your head, do you understand?"

The police station. Phyllis sees a door labeled Commander Carl Williams and peeks in. "Excuse me, but are you Paul Williams' father?" "Yep, that's me." "I thought you were missing." "No, nothing like that. I'm just not as good about checking in at home as I used to be. If you knew my wife, you'd probably understand--the lady's getting a bit... obsessive in her old age. I got to where I couldn't take it. So what can I do for you?" "I want to confess." "Confess? Confess to what?" "Running down that damned Bu--uh, I mean Christine Williams... and your son, Paul." "But we already closed that case--are you sure you want it reopened?" "I am. You see, I woke up one day and found I just wasn't myself any more and I feel like I don't fit in around here. My husband doesn't love me and I'm apparently too old to be a supermodel. So it's time to cut my losses and have myself locked up." "Well, as I said before, I understand completely about you wanting to get away from it all. And your case IS closed. Danny Romalatti may think you're getting on in years, but you're looking pretty good to me. Perhaps you'd consider just coming to live with me. I live a VERY private life these days and it would be the perfect chance to reconsider what you want to do with your life..." "Ok, ok, I accept." "Just like that?" he asks. She nods eagerly, just happy to be accepted by someone. Nadia's theme plays as we happily realize that the Phyllis character has been put back on hold, where it should have been left in the first place, waiting the proper return of Michelle Stafford--and perhaps some half-siblings-in-law for the Bug...

"Perhaps I should stay--" Grant says to Rachel, now slightly worried. "Nonsense," she says, "You promised the kids." Kurt nods, "I'm fine, Grant. Though thank you for your concern. You've always been such a good friend to our family--to my Linda. From what she told me about you, I feel I'm almost like family myself. You just run along and have fun with your kids--I seem to be in capable hands here," Kurt taunts him. "How long will you be gone for?" "A week," Grant responds somewhat nervously. Kurt smiles and fakes a cheery "Sounds like fun. Have a GREAT time!" Grant balks as if to protest, but has no way to express to his wife the nature of his concern, so leaves, defeated. As he walks away, he looks back. Kurt, unseen to Rachel, winks and we know immediately that the tables are about to be turned. "I didn't know Grant knew your Linda ..." Grant hears Rachel saying as he gets into their sport utility vehicle, slamming the door behind him. "It's a long story," says Kurt. "I've got nothing but time," Rachel says.

Lights fade out and we see a special notice:

               This episode dedicated to the fine folks at your
            local fire department, hospital, and police department
                      who ask you PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE
             never to do ANYTHING you see depicted on this show.
                                   Thanks!

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 31!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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