Episode 11, originally published 27-Dec-96

Holiday Spirits

It's late and Victor is tossing and turning in his bed. He awakens to see Hope's image standing before him. "Hello, Victor." "Hope?" he asks, puzzled. "There may be," she replies enigmatically, "but only if you learn from what I am about to show you." Victor sits up in bed and rubs the corners of his eyes. "What you're about to show ME? But you--you're blind!" he says as if quite certain she is speaking nonsense. "No, Victor. It is you who are blind. And I have been sent to show you."

The image leads him to the living room where they sit on the couch together. She grabs a remote control from the table nearby and clicks on it. The screen comes on and we see a picture of Nikki and Victor, years ago. "What's this?" Victor asks, "Someone took surveillance photos of my private life from years ago?" She shakes her head. "Not exactly, Victor. This is complete record of your life." Victor frowns. "Well, what am I saying there? Turn up the volume." She looks disappointed. "Darn! It's on maximum volume. I was really hoping you could at least understand it yourself. It looked like a very critical point in your life. But it's lost in your mumbling. I did a complete review of your life last night and I have to say, it's the same way throughout. Just a lot of mumbling."

"What's the point of all of this, my former wife?" Victor asks, now slightly irked. "If this is some case of blackmail, perhaps you could just say how much you're asking..." The woman laughs. "Blackmail? I may look like Hope but I assure you I am NOT! I am a spirit--the spirit of Christmas. I have no need of money." "You're the spirit of Christmas what--past, present, future?" "Victor, it may be hard for you to grasp, but you live in a soap opera--a place where linear time has very little meaning. The notion of past, present, and future has dubious validity here."

"You're not the spirit of Christmas. You're just a hallucination, brought on by a bit of undigested food, gone postal." Hope shakes her head. "I'm NOT an errant piece of undigested food, Victor. Who cooked dinner tonight?" Victor thinks for a moment. "Miguel did." "And has Miguel ever made a bad meal?" Victor thinks for a moment. "Well, he claims he has--but he says he's just never served such a meal... Well, I'll be damned. You are a spirit."

"You won't be damned if you change your ways, Victor. That's what I've come to tell you. I was supposed to do it by showing you but you saw the problem--oh, wait, I have an idea." She presses FF on the control. The screen action blurs for a moment then comes back into focus. "Ah, this is much better. No mumbling here."

"I don't get it. I'm not even in this scene. It's just my former wives. They're playing some board game--what is that there?" "Oh, sorry," the spirit says apologetically. "I had them muted." She presses another button. "There." The voices on the screen are now audible. "Ha!" says Nikki to Ashley, "Let's see, you landed on the Newman Ranch and there are 3 houses there...that's going to cost you." Cricket is playing banker. "You guys, I am so glad I was able to convince the court to let you divvy up Victor's estate this way. No one's ever been able to do that before, but somehow I was able. Another first for me! Anyway, this is a lot more fun than the usual way it's done." An screen view of Hope says "Yeah, this is a lot of fun. Ashley, if you have any money left after paying for the Newman Ranch, do you want to buy back Jabot for your family?"

"But what about me?" Victor asks. "They're just playing some game." The spirit of Hope laughs, "You're dead, Victor. You got shot in sweeps week again and your heart couldn't take it any more." "Sweeps week? That's only a few weeks away. And when is this that we're looking at?" "The board game? Oh, that's sweeps week, too. It was--uh,--will be a big hit." Victor says something unintelligible. "Speak up. You're mumbling again, Victor." "Oh, sorry. Was there no week of mourning?" The spirit laughs a hearty laugh. "There was no mourning at all Victor. You were lated and people were e-lated."

Victor pauses and then asks, "So is all this a done deal or what? What am I supposed to do?" "Change," the Hope tells him. "Grow up. Be nice to people. Give Jabot back to the Abbots. Stop toying with Ryan. Give Miguel and Connie a raise. Stop hitting on Cricket. Tell Hope when you've entered the room instead of sneaking up on her. Buy Cole and Victoria a REAL house. Knock before entering at the ranch--you don't live there any more. Stop hanging up the phone without saying good-bye. And above all, whatever else you do, always always always, please please please please -- E-NUN-CI-ATE."

Victor nods sleepily and says "You're sure we can't just do a simple cash payo--" She cuts him off sharply, "Victor!" "I will do as you ask. Mitchell Sherman will be in touch about the details. Good night, my visitation." As he goes back up the stairs to his room, Hope's image takes a tape from the VCR and slips quietly out of the room.

In the hall outside, we hear the sound of an elevator opening and the sound of a phone punching out some number with a 555 prefix as it closes. The camera cuts away to a room full of Victor's ex-wives. Oddly, Hope is there among them, too! The phone rings and Ashley shushes the room and puts the call up on speaker. A voice speaks from the box: "Charlie Base, are you there?" The camera cuts back to the lobby of Victor's apartment building, where Hope is coming out of the elevator, walking purposefully and talking on a cell phone. "Charlie Base? This is Dickens," she says. As she walks out of the building a car pulls up. She then reaches to her neck and pulls away a rubber mask, revealing Cricket's face and hair beneath. Climbing into the car, we see Paul, who is driving. He asks "How'd it go?" "Mission accomplished," Cricket says confidently into the phone and to Paul at the same time. "You expected less of me? Just wait until tomorrow. It's REALLY going to be Christmas for the people in Victor's life!"

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 12!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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